Saturday, March 29, 2008

Focus...Be yourself...Be natural!!!!

I was doubtful and had no idea about how to present the sequencing data in my thesis in a proper way. Thought for long time about different methods but still dint find any satisfactory one. So came up with this general curiosity and a hope to get some help by refering some of the earlier pHD thesis submitted in the department. Immediately logged into the university network and downloaded pdf files of about 5 recent thesis submitted by my ex-colleagues. Two of them are directly related to my work (not exactly my project but the technology used is the same) and the rest are completely different topics, but I wanted to check the approach of their writing. When I actually saw them they weren´t of much use as those are written in a cumulative way (atleast three publications from the work and a short summary of about 20 pages connecting and describing the publications).
Initially I also wanted to do that..write my thesis in cumulative way....life would have been much happier and simpler if that had worked out :(:(:( sadly I am not so lucky.....prof did not find any time to correct my publication as he is very busy and meanwhile I am running out of time.....so he asked me to drop the idea and write a normal thesis because of which I now ended up writing my great grandh (inka tala toka leni adbhuthamayina, ananthamayina, anirvachaneeyamayina, inkaa naake ardham kaani naa mahaaa grandhamu)

Anyways as I opened the downloaded files to just check the presentation of the results parts, out of irresistible attraction and curiosity I started going through the other parts of the thesis. And thats the mistake i did.....the more I read the other thesis the more i started feeling depressed, confused and completely low. Losing my confidence all kinds of doubts started arising in my mind...is my thesis good?? is my writing ok?? am I clear about my results?? did I present everything i know....or did I miss something??? is this the right way to present.....do i need to change the layout...change the order of the experiments...above all is the matter enough...do I need to shorten it or expand it...hmmmmm ayyyooooo I am so much confused......I spent almost a whole evening comparing my write up with the previous ones and getting more depressed with each section referred. Though a part of me was saying not to worry and let prof go through the matter and his remarks would be the ones I should work on, the other one was not ready to stop or atleast forget the comparison :(:(:(:(....

After many hours of internal fight about this.....refreshing my mind and clearing the data from the other thesis completely....asking a few essential questions about the actual aim of the thesis, what is a thesis....how natural and genuine the writing should be depending on personal vision and approach towards presentation of one´s own work....finally i could gain the strength to calm my mind and get back to my writing on my own in my own way.....I even had to get a new pair of glasses to energise and boost my thinking power :D:D:D(kalladdalu boledu telivitetalni gnananni istayani chinnappati nundi naako nammakam)....with a more studious and intellectual and nerdy look :D:D:D....just kidding..actually bought a pair of new glasses today in a sooper dooper offer (60€ worth glasses 10€ ke kottesaa sale offer loo).....

Anyways lesson learnt is not to make unnecessary comparisons and waste time (buying glasses also ;)).....just FOCUS and be yourself, be natural and write whatever you think and feel is right...once your heart is satisfied..you are gonna satisfy others hearts too... :):):)

I even feel the same with blogging....somedays when I browse lot and lot of blogs (for encouragement) with variety of issues and variety of interesting stories...I feel very confused and depressed about my posts....all kinds of questions arise in me about the content..will it interest anyone...what nonsense I am writing here...am I making myself clear blah blah blah....BUT when I post a genuinely inspired post of any kind any topic for my pleasure...it is definetely applauded :):):)

So at anytime anywhere anypoint of life it is always good to just Focus and be ourselves to get out the BEST of us!!!

Would like to post my current favourite song which I am listening now though it is no way related to the above post....it is from the movie JALSA(Pondalante victory, Poraatam compulsory)...Gallo telinattundee

I specially loved these beautiful lines

Urvasi voo nuvvu, rakshasi voo nuvvu, preyasi voo nuvvu naa kallaki
Oopiri voo nuvvu, oohala voo nuvvu, ooyala voo nuvvu naa manasuki

Toorupu voo nuvvu, vekuva voo nuvvu, suryudi voo nuvvu naa ningiki
Jaabili voo nuvvu, vennela voo nuvvu, taaraka voo nuvvu naa rathriki

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep chugging along,Srujana.Doubts will persist, insecurity will surface--but in the end, your state of mind and positive energy is what that really matters.
As long as you keep on improving, keep on working hard--and as long as you can sleep a good night's sleep--you needn't worry.
Give it your best shot---and leave the rest to 'upar wallah'!!
good luc!
NA

Satish Bolla said...

ilaanti feelings andhariki undeve. but entha twaraga realise aithe antha better. gud that u attained nirvana on this issue. lage raho

Apple said...

Yes dear..anything genuine,open and straight from heart always rocks...I simply love the way you write...

Srujana said...

NA...thats an expert advice :) thanks a lot for the encouragement and those very nice inspiring words....they are totally mesmerising and driving a positive energy to keep going...thanks a lot once again and thanks a ton for visiting my blog everyday :D:D:D..I am feeling very happy for that...


Satish...thank you....ennallu untundoo ee nirvana state choodali :) naadasale chala wavering mind..hope it stays along until i finish...thanks once again :)


Baboooooi Keerthi thank u a million times :D:D....I am completely flattered by your comment...gallo telutunna....:D:D:D

Subba said...

Dear Srujana Garu...

Great writing. Doing Ph.D. is really a tough task. But it is worthful.

Keep posting...
with best wishes
N.S. Reddy
GNU, JINJU, Korea