Cobbled together⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷

Today is filled with a wide variety of thoughts, highly mixed feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, agitation, fear, embarassment, contentment, .......

1. Was happy to see tamms all packed and excited to go home.
2. Was sad to see him leaving...gonna miss him for next few days.
3. Was angry on myself for being unorganised (I forgot to write an important reply to colleague in Italy...she should have waited for that y´day, I misplaced an address sheet from a person who asked for help in finding the address).
4. Was frustrated for not making any progress in writing in the last two days. (couldnt reach the selfset deadline).
5. Agitated by all the above feelings flashing together at the same time in the mind.
6. Feared of wasting one more day (was able to overcome this by afternoon....writing few pages of the thesis).
7. Got embarrassed to face a conversation about some bitter truths of life (but was able to gather my senses with the help of the converser and get back to saneness)
8. Contentment right now (at the end of the day) to have had a "not so bad day" regarding work and determined to climb the ladder without any more pauses. :):):)

Along with all this also came these beautiful words of Gulzar saab from Gharonda in my mind

"Eh Akela Is shahar mein, raat mein aur dopahar mein
Aaa bodaana dhoondhataa hai, aashiyaana dhoondhataa hai
Is umr se lambii sadakon o, manzil pe pahoonchate dekhaa nahii
Bas daudhatii phiraatii rahatii hai, ham ne to taharthe dekhaa nahii
Is ajnabee se shehar mein, jaanaa pahachaana dhoondhataa hai
Ek akela is shehar mein.....

Flying Home!!!!!!!!!

Not me....tamms....though I wish me too (Boohooohooo boohooo waaaahhhhhh :((((() but no luck for now :(....he made a sudden plan....one of his very best friends from school is getting married on 2nd of march(first marriage in their group)....though he had a strong wish to go to India on seeing the wedding card.....he was hesitant about the logistics of the trip....two days back nanna informed him that his friends has come home with the invitation card and they all missed him a lot....thats it....with that unstoppable stimulus ("what the heck...how can I not go to suris wedding" was his dialogue....edayithe emayindi velli ravalsindee...Huuhhh!!)...he started browsing and enquiring for tickets and got one for tomorrow by emirates(for 10 days)...almost the last one :D:D:D....

Apart from all the homemade and roadside eating he is gonna enjoy (Iam already on the verge of crying with this thought).....there are a big bunch of things he can do now in India for which I am jealous :(:(:(

# Attend his best friends marriage (Imagine all the fun one has in best friends wedding)
# Will meet all his friends from the gang (as almost all of them are in india right now)
# Will see our beautiful new house (almost complete and ready for gruhapravesam)
# Will cuddle and play with our new family addition...the next generation of the cheeli gang (vadina´s daughter, six months old bundle of cuteness...Muah:*:*)
# He will watch "JODHA AKBAR" on the big screen in desi theatre with desi crowds (Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(((((((.....I have to wait till April for its release here as I dont want to watch this movie on my 13" laptop screen)...he will watch lot more movies too....

Actually I am also happy for some reasons...amma, nanna, nanamma insisted me a lot to come along, buy a ticket together...but its quite impossible for me to take a break now (even for 10days)...though I so much want to......so I forcibly resisted the urge....coz once I get tempted it will be hard to cope up......don´t I deserve to get paid well for all this...yes I DOOOO

Bagging all the sympathy of love for staying back because of work....taantaaadaaai....I am sending a big list to India.....gonna get a full suitcase of goods....all new pickles (hmmmm!!!).....lots and lots of sweets and snacks (aaahhh!!!).....new music collections from nanna (oohhh!!!)....amma´s recent hit chepala pulusu (yummy!!!)...and a whole lot of goodies I wanted from India :D:D:D
Moreover I am releaved that I can send a whole lot of my collections from here to be dumped back home...(was worried how to manage the transfer of them while going back permanently in few months...cant bear to throw them here because of the luggage problem in flights and cargo is too expensive)

With all this excitement and a big lot of shopping for gifts to be done today....I put my thesis writing on a break (atakekkinchesaanu....)....though my conscious is continuously poking me....are you a case of procrastination (is a type of behavior which is characterised by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time)...always ready to postpone...:)
whatever for now I am excited going for shopping, packing etc etc with ofcourse an inevitable feeling "I am gonna miss tamms for the next 10 days"

Naa janma bhoomi entha andamayina desamuu
Naa illu andulona kammani pradesamuu
Naa saamiranga hooiihoooi naa saamirangaa :D:D:D

Photo courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/steelelogic/189706318/

If time is money.................

Ya if time is money then yesterday I had spent almost 16x60=57600 bucks....some 1.2441619784 picocents for lazyness, lousyness, day dreaming and boredom....ya right that was my day y´day...I was able to feel the milli, micro, nano and pico seconds of the time just sitting on the chair before my laptop...[sick]

Wokeup very late at about 10:00 am with an idea of writing atleast some parts of my report....but before doing that wanted to check my mail and opened the browser...net connection was too slow and had to hit a site thrice to get it opened and even at that speed I just couldnt resist to open some regular news sites, movies sites and got struck to them for about an hour...each one of the page took ages to open and there I sat just gazing at the screen....the idea of opening my report and writing dint strike me at all......I was cold like ice..no thoughts going on in brain...no activity in the body...I became a statue just looking no where (soonyam loki choosthu...)...then found some interesting videos on youtube and wanted to download them...as the net connection was competing with my mood...it refused to download or even open the files....Hmmmm
After sometime to revive myself from that mood wanted to go and wakeup tamms and at the same time try to download the videos from his laptop...so went to his room...he already got up and so I sat before his laptop opening the videos to download....they got downloaded...sat there for sometime just looking at the new video editing stuff discovered by my techie tamms (sarva kala sarvavasthalayandunu, ellavelalanu computer tho aadukuni andulo mayamarachipoye vyakthi naaku telisi veedu okkade).....got bored sitting there....so asked tamms to come over to my room and I left his....went back and again sat on my chair again hitting the webpages more than thrice to open....I was patient enough I suppose or had nothing else to do...tamms came over after sometime and sat with his laptop.....he also started browsing something...searched and watched some Bruce springsteen videos....got bored again...asked tamms if he wants to eat something so that i get a diversion by cooking (though I didnt have any mood to cook)...he said no..so i am still seated on my chair.....
This continued till evening....we didnt eat..we dint move .....we dint talk much...we dint study....we dint even watch a movie (we watch atleast one every sunday)...we just sat hypnotised, stoned, staring at the hazy screens of our own laptops....I kept on searching and trying to open and download some videos with the least of the interests..(not even one was done)...got a phone call from nanna...we were the most indifferent to all the scoldings for not eating...we stayed glued to our places and our laptops until 8:00 pm....
By then a little bit of the brain started poking to getup and do something...mobilized by that got up and cooked something....oiled my hair and got a hot shower....though physically refreshed my brain still seemed to be in the same condition...watched few episodes of Everybody loves Raymond...an unfruitful attempt to revitalize my brain :(:(:(....losing the last traces of my brain activity.....just dropped on bed hoping for a productive and fruitful tomorrow :)

Why somedays are like this????????????????
Anyways got up very early today as my soul felt completely ashamed to have wasted a full day...came to the uni and right away started with my document :)

Here are some excerpts from the song by Bruce springsteen....a very good one....somehow related to yesterday´s mood

I get up in the evening and I ain't got nothing to say I come home in the morning I go to bed feeling the same way I ain't nothing but tired Man I'm just tired and bored with myself Hey there baby, I could use just a little help Message keeps getting clearer radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place I check my look in the mirror I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face Man I ain't getting nowhere I'm just living in a dump like this There's something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is You sit around getting older there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me I'll shake this world off my shoulders come on baby this laugh's on me Stay on the streets of this town and they'll be carving you up alright They say you gotta stay hungry hey baby I'm just about starving tonight I'm dying for some action I'm sick of sitting 'round here You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart This gun's for hire Even if we're just dancing in the dark You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart This gun's for hire Even if we're just dancing in the dark Hey baby

Lyrics courtesy: http://www.brucespringsteen.net/songs/DancingInTheDark.html
Video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Bbm3CgTptSo (apparently Monica of FRIENDS (Courteney cox) was first spotted with this video....she was a random pick on to the stage by Bruce to dance with him :)....lucky Monica...ain´t she)
Image from: http://www.wpclipart.com/cartoon/boredom.png

Budaga!!!

Moti, fatty, bondam, bajji, pandi, drum, pumpkin, etc etc...are the pet names i am given by my very very close dear loving caring and pampering family members and friends :D:D:D.....for no reason I used to feel very proud of these names and thought they love me so much to call me with names....:D:D:D
How stupid am I??...I dont say that once upon a time I am skinny but I wasn´t obese either...in all my schooling, college and until 2005 that is the year I finished my masters degree in germany...I was in quite a good shape...seriously.....until december 2004....it all started when I was at home after two long years for a long break of three months....guess how I ate (tindi deyyam pattina pisachi :):):)).....the first month I was roaming around....but the later two months all I did was eat, sleep, watch movies...amma was making all my favourites...ofcourse poor daughter is home after two years....love is blind is hence proved as she could barely notice that I am on an eating spree :):):) (meri maa khana banaathi gayi aur main khathee gayi :D...nateejaaa???)....I put on six kilos in three months....I left India with my aunts comment (tomorrow´s news headline: videsaalaku payanamayina srujana...rashtramlo perigina kolla sankhya)...I came back to my routine to start with my pHD.....but not back to my form...that weight I puton at home kept on increasing and I turned up into the (hatte khatte khathe peethe kandaan ki tandurusth ladki) so called drum.....tammsess started making fun of me.....actually i never bothered about it somehow coz I never wanted to be skinny or slim....and I used to laugh it off.....with my stupid logic of chubby women look more powerful..(nonsense and crap this is :) I know..but still...).

Slowly the number of comments on my avataar got increasing....here are some funny stories
One of my masters classmate (J a fat chinese lady) and my colleague in the department now joins us (me and my lunchmate A) for lunch sometimes in the social room...she looks at my lunch box...she starts with.... you eat so much rice and you are not at all fat....I eat very little but still I am fat....showing off all my modesty I say No J I am not thin (with a formal smile :)...lopala lopala anandamee).....with this she becomes so happy and laughs loudly...ya srujana you have become fat now.....she turns to all others sitting in the social room saying...when srujana was doing masters she was very thin.....she started pHD she became fat...HAHHAAHA (with her hand gestures)...everyone started laughing hesitantly ....chaaa thats such an embarassing situation....I murmur to A "eevidakento badha naa tindi naa ishtam..nenu laavayithe eevida kentantaa...anavasrangaa eevida mundara tintu book ayipoyaam :X:X:X...paruvu teesesindi andariloo". The same comment from J repeated until everyone in the department knows it by heart and I started confirming twice before having lunch that by no chance J will be coming around.

Tamms is called budugu at home...and one day nanna confirmed that I am no less cheeli to him and wanted to give me a name similar to budugu...."budigee" I was all shy(siggutho moggayi poyanu)...hehehe...tamms dint know this
Nanna with tamms on phone: Budugu akkai ki kotha peru pettamu (found a new name for sis)
tamms: entadi (what name?)
Nanna: guess cheyyi nee peru lantidee hehehe (Guess... its sounds like yours)
tamms: ee peru lantidi (which one of mine?)
Nanna: budugu lantidi (like budugu)
tamms: BUDAGAAA!!! (balloon!!!)
Nanna dropped the headphone and laughed that the resound reached germany....:X:X:X:X:X I was all red with anger and tamms all proud with his super creativity continued calling me so (budaga laaga round ga untaavuga akkai..is his explanation)

J doesnt want me to live in peace...one fine morning I am taking coffee in the social room..J came in
J: what are you drinking?
Me: coffee..
J: I drink plain warm water (from her never washed container)..may be I also have to drink coffee...I read an article recently saying that drinking coffee will reduce fat in the body...
Me: (What nonsense)...No J thats not true....I drink a lot of coffee and still I am not thin
J: laughing (dont understand what was funny in that)....you drink one cup coffee and eat a big box of rice...how will you reduce
Me: AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I ran out of the room and banged my head on the table)

With all these and many more coming up I started feeling conscious and wanted to exercise....got a brilliant idea of starting to practise kuchipudi.....(which was left while leaving school)...immediately started browsing all the possible kuchipudi videos on the net and downloaded them...ordered and got a dance DVD all the way from USA...AND.....determined to practice every weekend...one nice saturday I started off to the greatest dismay of the guy living in the next room....it was no less horrifying to him than an earth quake hitting 10.0 on rector scale.....that was an one day show!!!!!

Semesters passed...did aerobics for a while...and I am still fat...tamms and I decided to join in gym...excited by the idea all the guys in the hostel also joined the uni gym...we became a big indian batch over there....obviously we used to exercise for 5min and chat for 15min...hehehhe...continued doing this for about 6 weeks I suppose....uuhhuuu no change at all...

started eating chapathis at night...no change (okati araa tinte labham...nalugu ayidu kaadu kadaa)....

Completely depressed and disappointed by the failure of all my genuine attempts to reduce weight I gave up more trials and started worrying with my icecreams, chocolates, chips and ofcourse rice :):):)

I couldnt stop myself to write all this after seeing the difference in the pictures I added for the previous post.....me at the start of masters and me at the end of pHD....NOW AND THEN :):):)
(as monica (FRIENDS) says .....the camera thats used seems to have added 10 pounds on to me ;););))

Now and Then......

Today is my profs birthday....he didnt come to the dept because of some throat allergy (actually he is not for the last two days).....so our secretary got this idea of sending him a birthday cum get well soon card with a group photograph from us....felt very nostalgic and dejective...we are just 9 in the picture....three of those are here just for few weeks....four other main colleagues apart from prof are not thr for the pic....there are so many changes....

Hmmm five years......brings lot of changes in a group....in a person...so many experiences...good times, bad times...happy days, sad days....lot of people, lectures, practicals, lab work, outings, pHD defences, group meetings, get togethers, christmas parties, B´day parties, new borns, demise :(, resignations, new intakes, diplom thesis, master lab rotations, project students, lot of funds, no funds, projects ending, new projects approved, new jobs, job loss, prof´s retirement nearing, people left....group getting thinner...

Yaa true its been almost five years I am working in this group "AG Blohm" (working group Prof.Dietmar Blohm, Dept. of Biotechnology & Molecular genetics)......I was sure I will write this post some day....but dint know it would come so fast....couldnt resist to write it today....as a masters student I started coming to this dept as a student helper, then did one of my lab rotations, my master thesis and then pHD position....five long years...I feel so much attached to this department now....its my home away from home...I know each and every corner of this place....everything seems to be my own....and one day I have to leave this place :(:(:(....dont want to even imagine that moment...

Want to write a lot but I am not getting any words....I cant anymore....so for now will stop this and continue later....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Prof. Blohm.....Many many more happy returns of the day :)

"Riding on the dreams I once knew
I can’t believe it’s been oh so long
Though it seems just like the other day
Folks I knew back then are long gone.....

Materials & Methods

This is supposed to be the easiest section to write in any scientific report. I too believed in that till date and to keep up my tradition of starting any report with the m&m section which ignites me and slowly provides the acceleration towards writing the other sections.....I began my thesis report with this...and as prof asked me to give one section at a time for correction and not the bizarre report with all the unorganized and incomplete haphazard stories...I decided to give him m&m section first :D:D:D.

As I was proceeding with the normal way of describing the techniques performed and listed the materials used in each technique...I suddenly remembered oh noo this is not a lab report it is a PhD thesis (a BIG one %&$%§%) and so again I went through a brainstorm and came up with an idea to first list out all the different kind of experiments performed and then list out the methods used and the chemicals used....a bit convinced with this started writing again according to the experiments performed....but...there are some small steps performed before the experiments and in between the experiments and what about those??...Hmmm No this is not the way....why dont I make a flowchart?...ya will try this so right from the beginning of the work I made a flowchart with what I have done going through the pages of my daily lab notebook (I am proud and thank god I wasn´t lazy and wrote that very well...without that life would have been hell by now)...for each branch of the flowchart I listed out the biggest to the smallest consumables used in the lab....was able to fill it up quite convincingly.....

Now started putting it into words and again something banged in my head.....references!!!...ya every single consumable needs its identity...from which company its bought and from which country...have these details for all the extensively used kits and instruments but thats not enough....(its a pHD thesis BANG!!!!) made a big list of materials for which I dont have the reference.....went into the lab and thanks to our very nice technical assistant....I could fill a lot with his help...he knows all the companies...the details are on his finger tips :D:D:D....then comes a vast list of bioinformatic stuff used...softwares, databases, protocols, online applications etc etc....an extensive browsing of biotech, chemical and bioinformatic companies....making notes

I looked down on my desk at the rough work and the notes....I felt giddy....there is so much of material...now comes the biggest task of putting it together and in a meaningful way.....hope I can finish atleast a crude version by friday..thats the day I need to hand over it to prof for corrections...

MATERIALS AND METHODS is truly an important, not easy, tedious and tiresome section..no kidding...seriously I still feel that I am missing lot of stuff....will know that only when I start keeping all this in words...huuuuhhhh uuuuuffff!!!!

I love these camera mobiles...take a picture of what ever and whenever you want :D:D....Had a coffee for relaxing with this beautiful song from Libaas (heard these for the first time y´day)

"Jitane Bhii Tay Karate Gaye
Ba.Dhate Gaye Ye Faasale
Milo.N Se Din Chho.D Aaye
Saalo.N Se Raat Leke Chale
Sili Havaa Chhu Gai......

"Dil ki baat na poochho, dil to aata rahega
Dil bahekaata raha hai, dil bahekaata rahega
Dil ko tumne, oh, kuch samjhaaya hota
Khaamosh sa afsaana paani se likha hota
Na tumne kaha hota, na humne suna hota
Khaamosh sa afsaana...............

Lyrics courtesy: www.musicindiaonline.com

Avakaayi mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!...my lunch today

People might be thinking seeing this photo....Hmm poor pHD student Srujana :(...dont even have time to cook nice food at home because of her thesis writing...so you see her lunch box with just curd rice and mango pickle....how sad...not any less misery than a telugu movie heroine with an evil step-mother (often this lunch is eaten by them in telugu family melodramas)...Hmmmm...

If you are thinking so....you are completely WRONG ;P

Tantaaaadaaaaaaaaaa guess what this is??.....the new MANGO PICKLE of the season (Kotha avakaaayi....mmmmmhhhhhhh......nenu tinesaanooochhhh :D:D:D).....the only food that takes you the closest to the feeling of being in heaven....Now the story goes like this...

Y´day me and tamms were going back home from uni a bit early than usual (18:00 hrs).....got into the bus thinking what to make for dinner...hmmm I am already hungry (this is what I think everyday when I get into the bus back home)....in the next stop the "avakaayi santa clause" P and the nice home invitor S got into the bus. P just came back from India y´day morning from a very busy official trip for one week(lucky him to visit home with office money). After all the casual talks about his trip, flight he took, experiences, family, beautiful India, lavish food, current cinemas, increasing population, hectic traffic, pollution, politics etc etc..very nice S asked us to come home. I was very formal to say NO no we will go home.....arre P brought some sweets and snacks from home...techavu kadaraa???(he confirmed it from P)...P said yaa I think some laddoos, karapoosa, chikki (pappuchekka) were packed in my bags....hmmm still I was like its ok if we come we will finish it off...you people eat it coz you dont even cook regularly and all that stuff to say...S was very insisting...no I called you over weekend you dint come and you always complain about not giving you snacks when I came back from india....so this is a chance, come over you can have some...I looked at tamms and he seemed to have no objection...and there we go to their house....we were treated with ghee laddoos, crispy crispy hot karappoosa and very tasty home made pappuchekka...upon that a nice cup of strong (kadakh) redlabel tea...vooowww this is life was my feeling...I was so full...we completed the whole plate in no time :):)....then S asked us to stay back for dinner too...he would cook something and will call other guys from the hostel too...so all of us can eat and go back together....couldnt deny it then though I had no space left for dinner...helped S in cooking for a while and then the other guys came and just before starting our dinner P unpacked his other bag and there he saw two other packets...guess whaat was taken out....yeeeaaahhhh pickles.....avakaayi and gongura :D:D:D

We all were like haaaa haaa haaaa avakaayi...P added that its the new pickle...his mother bought new mangoes and pickled them just two days back....aaahhhhh whaattt koththa avvakaayaa?? (first pickle of the season)...couldnt resist and we sat for dinner with steaming rice and no one looked at the mushroom curry S made ;P....as the packet was emptied into a box we couldnt stop mouthwatering at its vibrant!...bright!...red spicy oily gravy and the still raw greenish mango pieces soaked in it.....we raced to get it into our plates...(vedi vedi annam meeda....mmhhh... kammani gummani koththa avakaayi)...and mix it with rice and the first mudda into the mouth....a bite of the mango piece....mmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaahhhhhhh swargam!!...heaven!!!...the gravy still has the freshness of the chilli, spices and the oil...the piece still raw, crispy, sour, soaked...aaahhhaaa..i have no more words to describe...finishing it in no time...second and third servings were taken immediately (no one seemed to bother about the heat or the fire thats gonna generate in the stomach :):):))...what the hell who cares about all that...anything for avakaayi was the motto....had come to the finale with curd rice again an amiable last piece without gravy :):)...donno where I got all that space in my stomach after the heavy snacks...hehehe

P and S very much insisted on taking home some pickle....tamms jumped immediately "I want it"....I took it very reluctantly (thats a lie :D...I so much wanted to take some but was just shy as we already ate so much...)hehehe....BUT I got some with me, tamms still not satisfied wanted to have a washed piece before going to bed :D:D:D....and today morning I had this great idea of packing my lunch box with curd rice and avakaayi.....boasted about the experience to all my lunch mates and offered them small bites of the piece....being proud about sharing the first mango pickle...:D:D:D

My heart is not any less happy eating the assalu sisalayina andhra trademark avakaayi pachchadi to sing this song

ahahhahhahhahhaa avakaayibhOjanambu ahhahaa
aavakaayi bhOjanambu noroora vanTakambu
bhalaare gundi vindu OhhOhhO naake mundu
aavakaayi bhOjanambu noroora vanTakambu
bahubaaga undi vindu OhhOhhO naake mundu
ahhahahhahahha ahhahahhahahha ahhahahhahahhaaaahaahaa

ouroura laddoolalla ayyaare karapposalilla
ouroura laddoolalla ayyaare karappoosalilla
O hO rE pappu chekka ahaahaa ahaahaa
iyella naake chella

Another new week :O:O:O:O:O

Heheheheh on a lighter note...I got my first comment on my blog...I am so much happy to see that and thanks to aalapana for all the compliments and nice words....its always good and encouraging to be praised for your work....(Aaja madhosh huaa jaae re, mera mann, mera mann, mera mann...binaa hi baat mauskurae re, mera mann, mera mann, mera mann :)....seems like I am very much excited :):):))....life is not always so nice Hmmmmm.........

Pic: §$§%$%'## literature study

Monday, an another new week....time seems to be running with the speed of SR-71 Blackbird....weeks are passing by in a flash...its already third week of february and there is so much to write :(. Prof wants the second version of the report by the end of this week (well second version could be anything...for eg: spelling corrections :D:D:D...... a suggestion from fellow pHD student)....and prof gave a clue that the future is not gonna be easy with a warning "Dont expect me to be so nice and easy (less critical) and get such simple comments from next time" (Hats off to my prof..he has his own way of frightening students...with a cold knife :(:().

So with a very strong determination of not wasting the weekend I spent the saturday shopping (wearing my brand new skirt ;P)....and attended a marriage reception party in the evening...S the bridegroom is my classmate in MSc and now a pHD student in the biochem department...party hall was occupied by three post docs (who survived the pHD stove and now falling down in to a furnace), almost 7 pHD students striving very hard to get out of the stove....and there comes the new set of chickens around 15 master students very eager to jump into the bright attractively colored dreamy pHD stove(ooops...no offence intended by the word chickens...just nothing else struck me at this moment)...Gaawwwddd so many pHDs but thank God everyone was seriously discussing the plans for the Indian utsav, cultural fest in April albeit short mourns (pHD ki dukh bhari kahaniyaa) with S and K....

To calm the very strongly hammering mind about the wasted saturday (regarding thesis) I wokeup early on sunday deciding to read some literature to quote in the Introduction....opened a publication...read a page...hmmm aaa &&%%$$$ boooring....why dont I do something else to get back to the mood....I have a brilliant idea to write the "IF" poem in my diary and also paint Happy Days logo...ahhhaaa tadaaaa....there i go happy and excited by my talent after an hour.....DHAADDD!!! thats the hammer...take the publication finish it :X:X:X
OK ok repeated the first page again as I forgot what it was about....read two more pages...made some notes....read two more pages...(Kya cheez hai bhai khatham hone kaa naam hi nahi lerahaa ee paper)...finally completed it somehow....Hmm I need a Break....what to doo...heyaaa i bought chicken y´day why dont i cook it for lunch...heheheh started browsing butter chicken recipes...found one and there I go to cook...for almost two hours....
Me and tamms ate our lunch....aahhaaa (ippudu oka sleep vesthe......swargam!!!)...again DHAADD!!!! read read read...

OK then opened an another publication and ya somehow managed to read a couple of them with two cups of tea to digest and refresh....by evening my mind was a bit calmed....ok I atleast tried to read something..BUT if this is going to be so...god only knows when I will finish my thesis....not just weeks,....months and years will pass off with double the speed of blackbird....have to make strong decisions, be determined to sit down and WRITE without any distractions...hmmm not very easy though.....

Zindagi gham ka sagar bhi hai
Hanske uspaar jana parenga

Monday morning started off making the Latex document and writing the second version of the report....Lets see how far i go....Lunch time..blogging time...and time to GO to write...

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

How difficult is this?????

Today´s blabbers....

"Today, you should use the killer combination of cold logic and a warm smile to gain advantage over the competition. You cannot persuade someone to agree with you based on your charm alone -- you need the facts to support you. Before you start any kind of negotiation, make sure you've got the evidence you need to support your position. Do your research, and no one can disagree with your findings. As long as you stay confident and prepared, you will succeed"....

With this very inspirative quote early in the morning...set off to plan the experiments.....hmmm made a small daily browsing ritual (ndtv, rediff, anish´s blog, kamal´s blog, some more blogs for updates)....read a very good post about Godavari bagging 5 nandis...couldnt resist writing a comment...made that....meanwhile nanna and couple of friends came online...talked about my new profile pic :D:D:D, valentine´s day heheheheh...

Then came in prof with a masters student...introduced him to me and said that he is interested in doing master thesis here in our lab and may be he wants to work with you....so he wants to talk to you...give him all the relevant information...and prof left....hhhhhh???(entidi!!)...I already told prof that I cant guide a student now as I have very less time to complete and cant spend so much time with the student......hmmmm then why did he bring this guy to mee??? anyways took him to the social room and asked few questions about his masters and explained my project....it was good...he seemed to understand everything and looked very interested....thought of keeping it very brief but we ended up discussing for one and half hour....I frankly told him that I am not gonna be very long here and if he wants to work then he will be guided by prof directly later on....he seemed to be OK with that....dont know students nod their head for everything (ofcourse I used to do the same....but ippude telisindi ala cheyyatam ila untundani eduti vallaki)..chaloo anyhow finished with him..he seemed happy... iam happy as my task is done....meanwhile lunchtime...had my lunch and to drive away the sleep I am writing this post...cup of coffee and a blog post enough refreshing...:):):)

Now have to really get set gooooo to work....just an afternoon left over....

kadam kadam badhaye jaa khushi ke geet gaye jaa yeh zindagi hain (thesis) ki tu (kaam) pe lutaye jaa.......:):):)

Yesterday night

Pic: This is how a PhD student looks at 00:35am (Feb 14th 2008 early hours) trying to understand the report corrections sent by the prof §!!§§§%####%%%?????

Heehhehe finally prof sent me my corrected report...after a very brief flashy meeting in the corridor....I just saw at him in a very confused and questioning and pleading way....he understood it right away...he said "Srujana..I started working on it...made some corrections too...but I am not yet through...latest you will recieve it by today evening...(hmmmheheh...puzzled happy confused expression by me)...its fine...it looks good...you made a good start..its in the right way" he walked away.....eeerrrr hmmmm hhhhhh....should I be happy...no???? yes???? hmmm lets see by evening what will come out...(koncham lopala lopala anandanga undilee :) fine annarani)

Around 10:00 pm in the night, checked my mail for the 10th time in the evening..ya there it is...(hammoooo baboooi emuntundooo)...opened it the whole mail was in german :O:O:O (naaku nerpinche vadilelaa unnaru pattu vadalani vikramarkudu type lo)...a repeatation of the same he told in the corridor...with the attachment of the corrected document...opened it quite hesitantly.....went through the whole thing...

Made few changes in the table of contents...ya it looks more meaningful and complete with that....a lot of comments about the tables and graphs...they need to be edited and clearly presented.....adviced to use as many tables as possible....explanation of the results to be modified....methods and results not to be mixed up....yaa it was good no serious comments or saying that all this is trash....i was a bit releaved...

BUT....

the idea behind writing this short report was to find gaps and plan the necessary experiments...this was not done at all...what does this mean.....did he forget why he asked me to write this? and made me wait so many days for this....Hmmmm....What to do???? I am at the same stage again.....(hatavidhiiiiii)....OK I made all the possible changes I can make right then in the document and decided to make a plan of the further experiments tomorrow and then go and discuss them with the prof if thats the right way to proceed... this should be fine...I dont see any other alternative...(emi cheyyalo teliyaka had a crazy photo session hehehahha)

Raat baaki, baat baaki, hona hai jo ho jane do...anukuntuuuuuu

Miseries of a PhD student

That lucky day when I can sit with my prof and discuss my short report never seemed coming....y´day I asked prof if he had time to discuss....he said right after lunch...but there was a visitor in his office after lunch.....went back to him after she left.....he said he would come to me in 10min....after 10min he came over and said he had just 10min left to go and if that will be enough to discuss something...(nenemayina nepala mantrikuralina haammmphaatt ani pogesi 10 nimishallo mottam cheppataniki)....i said its very difficult and I will try to send it to him my mail....he said that will be a great idea...then he will go through this and let me know his comments and then we can sit together and discuss the things...he left and I sat down trying to paste the results graphs which I dint do before and arranging the whole document in a way he can understand it. I hope he will, I am so much worried and confused about the whole document, the way I presented and explained the results...I hope he understands...though I already told him that the document in a very crude form not very well organized...he said he will manage...donno what will happen....

Whatever (dhairye sahase lakshmi) ready to face all the outcomes I made the required changes and sent the mail. Eagerly waited for the reply and checked in the night too...but no mail.

The first thing I did today morning is to check the mail if there is any reply...Nooo new mails.....donno if he had seen the report or not...may be he dint get time to see it...or may be he saw it, couldnt understand anything and wanted to discuss it with me...maybe he is mad at me for giving such a crude report...came to the uni making myself ready to face anything....I was sure prof will be mad but if i can bear his anger for sometime I can atleast get to know the status and the necessary things to be done....
Prof is not there in his office....waited till lunch still not there...tamms came over and told me that he has gone to IUB...hmm i have to leave to the doctor by 4 in the afternoon, if he didnt turnup by then an another day is just gone by, wasted......dont know what his intentions are in keeping me hanging in this situation...cant dare to proceed with the experiments...he is not correcting the report...what to dooo :((((....wish he sends me some comments by today evening.....hmmmmm.....

ANUKUNNADOKKATI AYYINDOKKATI BOLTA KOTTINDI LE BUL BUL PITTA..........ani husharuga paadalani unnaa prastuntaniki mana jeevitham...

Jagame maaya bratuke maaya vedaalalo saaramintenayaa ee vintenayaa

Final part of Hospital Saga

Saturday (9th Feb) morning:

Wokeup with the same old Guten Morgan shout by the nurse at 6:30...she took temperature and checked BP when I am still half asleep..she said its normal.....in 5min came the second nurse with the blood tray....(inka entha rakhtham teesukuntaru...taagutunnara entii)....a total of 5 syringes were filled one after the other in the most senseless robotic way....donno what they are gonna do with all this blood....what kind of HIFI tests they are going to conduct???.....I was indifferent to all this by now....dint wanted to strain my brain anymore thinking of all what is happening (Jo hoga dekha jaayegaa)....I got freshened up and then came breakfast...again bread butter jam coffee....it was good for a change and as I do cleaned the plate as unused hehehahhahaha :D:D:D......then came an another head doctor with the same old young doc....examined me and asked me how am I feeling...quite normal I said...How is your appetite....he turned around not waiting for my answer...looked at the completely swiped up plate...with a small smile...looked at me and said everything seems normal...blodd reports doesnt show any inflammation of the appendix.....may be some disturbance in the intestine should be causing this pain....young doc interrupted repeating the same old gynic problem...finally he is heard by someone...the head said ya could be...you can consult a gynaecologist for a general checkup....I will right a letter to your private doctor and then you can go home....yaahuuuu......I immediately got down the bed changed my dress...packed my bag laptop...wore my shoes.....ready to goooo :D:D:D:D...BL and I exchanged our addresses...waited waited for the letter to come...no one turned up....its almost 2 hours the doctors had visited me and said that they will send a letter....I removed my shoes sat on the bed..
BL started talking about art..about worpswede and a new art village near Bremen...she promised to take me to this place after she is fine in her car.....go around have coffee and come back.....Wwooowwww what an offer....she started giving me advices about healthy eating....told me to take care about food fruits juices eating times etc etc after going home...very much grand motherly :):):)....after sometime two nurses came over to shift BL to the special section....I wished her good health and promised to call her up and it was a bit sad situation...a slight bond grew between us a roommates in this hospital for two days...we shared many thoughts in this time....hmmm wish she gets well soon!!!!!!

I was all alone in the room...going crazy....understood and filled up all the rest of the puzzles in the magazine....asked nurses about the letter twice..its 12:00 noon, lunch was asked...I refused to have it...I want to go home and I am waiting for the letter....this time i told the nurse very seirously....she came back in 10min with the letter.....hammayyaaaaaa finallyyy.....I wore my jacket called up tamms, said thank you and bye to the nurses........and walked down to the entrance and ouuuutttt there I am on the road.....fresh air blowing and the sunshining very brightly...happy and confident....I took the resolution I am all fit nothing will happen to me...I will never ever go to a doctor in this place...(bekaar ka hangama karthe hai) hehehehehehhehee.....
I lived happily the rest of the days ;P

Glad I ´m baaaaaaackkkkkkk :):):):):):):) PART II

Friday 8th Feb 2008:

At about 7:00 am a nurse came in shouting Guten Morgan...I wokeup in a sudden stroke....looking around to figure out where Iam....I slept well.....by the time I realized the nurse was taking blood from the BL and she turned to me and said Good morning...did you sleep well...
Me: hmm yaa yaaa (still sleeping)
BL: (nurse left) I couldnt because I dint know how to switch off the light...I wokeup in the night went out to call nurse...dint find one...came back and covered my eyes with atowel..still couldnt sleep

SHIT...I cursed myself....I just forgot to turn off the light before sleeping...(light never disturbs me its a regular habit that I sleep reading a book or watching some movie with the lights turned on)...very apologetically I said sorry to her I forgot to turn them off....no no no I dint know which switch to turn off...you are new here you also will not know (Haaa is that a big deal...there are big switches just at the entrance of the room...hmm anyways). Nurse came in again...this time to me...checked my temperature and BP and said its normal (Hheheheh naaku teleedaa I know Iam normal).
She went out and came in another nurse asking what do you like to drink with breakfast tea or coffee...Haaaa she also asked meee...finally something to eat....said coffee got down the bed and freshened up immediately and came back..READY TO ATTACK.....nurse came in with the breakfast plate to the BL, turned to me said NO BREAKFAST FOR YOU...(Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii eh nahi ho sakthaa) I am dying of hunger.....BL gave a sympathetic look to me and resumed having coffee and breakfast....you may have to take some test and then will get to eat...dont worry she said...OK OK that doesnt seem coming...

After about 30min came a nurse telling that she needs to take blood...brought two big syringes this time...from the same hand felt the vein...OH noo she was rough....it was so painfull....even after removing the needle it was bleeding for sometime.....(durmargulu dushtulu jalagallaga naa ontlo rakhtham antha tagestunnaru...emi chestunnaroo intha blood teesukuni...okati tindi pettaru malli litre lu litre lu rakhtham teesukuntaaru :X:X:X:X asalu vellandarini chethulu kattesi nollu kuttesi blood antha laageyyali appudu telustundi.... Hannaa nannu intha kastapedataaraa)
BL started talking about her son that he will bring apple juice for her...she doesnt like to drink water all the time...asked for juice to the nurses but no one brought any...her son is also working in the uni...she has a daughter in Freiburg...settled with her husband and kids....her son also had three kids....she is conservative as her neighbours in the street....though she is divorced for 7 years from her husband they both are still friends...they meet for family gettogethers call up to talk about the grand children....she thinks its important to maintain this for the impression on the grand children...she wants them to grow as a part of big happy family....she works for the adult education department carrying on projects..her husband works a s a prof in law department...her daughter studied in spain and learnt spanish joining some discussion groups... adviced me to join ASTA and ask for help for german language courses....

Why is she telling all this to me...she is so much unlike other german ladies..she is so open so friendly sso sweet...I liked her a lot...listened to all her happy sad agony stories....she thanked me for listening to her being so nice to her(rang the bell to nurse when she got the needle out from her hand and started bleeding continuously)....she was bold enough to cleanup and get a new bandage to hand....thanked me for about 5 times for ringing the bell....when her son called up she broke doen...she couldnt stop crying explaining all that has happened how the blood came out hoe i calle dthe nurse....maaan she is so sensitive....I was completely moved felt so much love for her wanted to go and hug her and tell that there is nothing to worry...hmmm couldnt do it though...she was fine after sometime....doctors came over a lung specialist (cute kind young lady) to her listened to all her story with patience examined her and said that both her lungs are infected...she shoudlnt move much and they will shift her to the special lung section that day...
After sometime a doctor(elderly looked like the head) along with the young doctor who took blood yßday night came to me....asked me if i have pain ....i said no...examined me and while testing I felt little pain and complained that....the young doctor said to the head "may be gynaecology problem" he said the same y´day night tooo....but the head dint bother and said to me I will check your blood reports and will come back in few mins...(emi jarugutundi ikkada antha agamyagocharanga undi)...those few mins never ended (dint see that head again :))

Meanwhile its 12:30 noon and lunch time...only to BL no lunch to me :(:(:(:( (nannu madchi champestaaru veellu)
BL: I am sorry for you...its not good to eat alone but I have to for my health...I hope they will give you food soon (eerrr mariii antha aasaga choosana aavida plate vanka- brahmanandam type lo :))
Then came in a nurse with the blood sucking tray again...I can recognize that now and guess why she is coming....she cameover and said she need more blood for test.....
Me: doc said I am fine, he will check my reports and I can go home why do you need more blood.
Nurse: No I need blood for more tests (couldnt explain much -language problem)
Me: pleas take it from the other hand...already had two times from this
Nurse: ah ok I can try and took it from left into a big 10ml syringe (No doubt deeniki tindi ekkuvayye ee rogam anukuntunnaremo...anduke ila pastulunchi naa blood antha laagesukuntunnaru hathavidhiiii asalenduku aaa hospital ki vellanu :X:X:X:X)

Later came the very goodlooking middle aged same doc2 from the first clinic to say Hi and check on me.....I said I am very much fine and asked when can I go home...he said they are waiting for one more test results....all the others are normal..according to me you can go home but I am not the one who decides the surgeons has to do that...I think you will have to stay today night also (WHAAATTTT NOOOOOOOOOO HAMMMAAA PLEAASSEEEE DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO MEE :((((((((((()
Nurse came in asked her when can i go home...doctors are looking at your reports will tell you once they tell me...whole afternoon went on with BL telling her stories about the students she had...projects she had...about her mail..her neighbours how good they are...strange neighbour who always talks about other people...how everyone in the street just runs away at her sight :)....how her son and daughter-in-law manage the kids...how she is proud about her son...time just rolled off with some phone calls, crying about food (moodu pootalu ayyindi tindi tini), filling up two more sudoku puzzles, getting an ultrasonic examination again (this doctor was very happy to speak in english and thanked me at the end for a good english lesson..he lost practice of it....actually everyone in the hospital are feeling very happy to speak in english...they are trying their best to converse with me....very much unlike the previous experiences with very adamant only german speaking people).

Nurse came in at about 4 in the afternoon and said that I need to stay today night tooo and they have to examine me tomorrow morning and then I can go home...tamms got the info from nanna and he came in after 30min with my laptop some clothes...I was glad had shower changed and felt fresh...only worry begin food now....at about 6 I was just sitting at the table playing with my laptop...a nurse came in to make injection to BL. Thrombose (good for blodd circulation)...it was done on the stomach couldnt see it I turned my head.....nurse went out and came in again Frau.Chitipothu injection to you......my eyes widened..mouth wide open.....injection (I was scared shocked what not) why what ????? whats going on....noooo...injection why???? nurse starting laughing off and explained I have to give you this injection...I am fine I dont need any for god sake please dont do this to me...OH MY GAWD.......nurse went out called up two other nurses and explained my expression of wide eyes and oh my god and all of them started laughing.....(naa deena moham choosi kooda kanikaram leda meeku :(:(:(:(..rakhshashulu meeru)...I am nurse Rosy I am very soft it wont pain..pleas you keep talking to her meanwhile I will do it...saying so she lifted my shirt up from the stomach...WHAATT to the stomach no I want it on the hand....nurse said no I have to do it on the stomach....ammooooo devudaaaa naaku vadduuuu but no chance of escaping..I wanted to jump out of the window.....caught her hand tight...she made it....hmmm it dint pain while doing but it was horrible later.....she was still laughing caressed on my cheek and left...
then came dinner for me also finallyy...bread butter cheese and some processed meat slices...it was yacckkyyy but tamms sat before and I had to forcibly push it in with tea....tamms left around 8:00pm...I started plaing in my laptop...BL was no sleepy she said she dint do anything and the night is going to be very long....I very doubtfully asked her if she likes to watch a movie...she immediately said yes...I have a germa movie (Das Leben Der Anderen) with english subtitles (Oskar winning best international movie "Life of others" 2007)...wanted to watch that since long time....it needs separate post the movie review...great experience watching it with BL..she even gave some comments at the end of the movie about the situation then prevailing...slept off for the night happily.....

Glad I ´m baaaaaaackkkkkkk :):):):):):):)

Two days in hospital :O:O:O:O:O.......yaaa it came like a shock....I had to stay in the hospital.....It all started on tuesday...while coming back from the uni in the bus suddenly there was a piercing pain in the stomach and my eyes started rolling off...yaa I felt giddy and then I had to getdown as my stop has come....doubtfully I got down...took a forward step and DHAAAAADDDDD!!!! yaa I fell down unconscious....but immediately I got my senses back opened my eyes and there was a nice lady holding me and she helped me get up and made me sit on the bench in the stop....she also got my handy which just slipped off my hand and fell far away....I sat there for sometime still feeling the pain and letting my mind to stabilize.....after about 5min I was fine and gotup to walk home....tamms was coming running down to me as nanna told him I fell down...felt very bad seeing so much of tension on his face....."padipovatamenti emayindi" his voice sounded so terrible and concerned....I said I am fine and we went home...laid down for the rest of the day.....tamms cooked and dint let me put my feet down on the floor.....>:D<>:D<>:D<....

Wednesday morning I was fine no pain and felt very fresh so I was glad and as usual got ready and went to the uni....everything was normal...ate my lunch very well and worked well.....as usual went to prof and he said sorry I definetely have time tomorrow we will check it (I posted that already...yaa i was healthy enough to post on my blog too :D)....but this happiness dint last long...in the evening around 4ó clock again I felt severe pain on the right side of the stomach...it was unbearable I couldnt sit on the chair....went home early and just dropped onto my bed....I slept for about 2 hours or so and then it was all fine...I could getup, cook and eat...but slight pain remained contiuously inside...thought for the first time to go for a checkup (that thought lead to this great hospital saga ...Hmmmm) Thursday morning got up very late...called uni reporting a sick leave.....actually I was feeling not much pain but wanted to get it checked up...so in the afternoon I went to a general doctor near my place...waited for the appointment for about 30min and then went in....I told my whole story of falling down...later effects..pain etc etc...after all the general questions about fever, vomiting, low BP, previous operations blah blah...he wanted to make a checkup and I felt severe pain on the right side during this....he said he is suspecting appendicitis and needs to make a blood test to confirm...but since he doesnt have a lab over there....even though he collects the blood he can get the results only on monday and if it is appendicits that will be too long to wait so he said that its better I go to the main hospital to get the test down.....he wanted to make an EKG then and when I was waiting in the EKG room...he came over and told me that there is visiting doctor from the main hospital that day in his clinic and he wants to make a check up... "enni sarlu check chestaru babu" was my feeling....they took me to the ultrasonic system and checked my stomach...apparently the doctor no1 dint know how to use the ultrasonic system and so the doc no2 gave a small demonstration lecture to him "hmm ippudu nenu experiment animal" ....after clearing all his doubts and learning the system very well...they told me the good news that both of them suspect it to be appenticitis though they cant confirm it my ultrasonic system...they strongly recommended me to go the hospital and get the blood test done....they would call up the hospital and inform that I am coming and if needed they may ask me to stay over night Haaaaaa :O:O:O was my expression...I was really really scared listening that....dint imagine it will go this far....I shivered hearing about the hospital and staying there and praying to all the godds I could remember not to get that situation...called up tamms and told him..he said he will come over directly and I took a bus to the hospital....

After registration at the entrance we were asked to go to the emergency section....we did so and were asked to wait...after sometime a nurse cameover and took me inside a room....checked my temperature and BP......later a doctor came over, examined me and told that he needs to take blood for testing and I have to wait until the results....as I knew this I was prepared and for the first time in my life I dint have any fear for the needle...
Doc: please lay down on the table
Me: why??
Doc: I have to take blood
Me: Cant you take it if I sit down
Doc: Ya sure sure...if you dont fall down seeing blood (Strangely I was so confident...may be my innerself telling me continuously that there is no one from family around and you have to behave and be bold enough)
Me: no no please carry on I will sit down
Doc: OK sit hear (showed me a stool) Then I understand why he wanted me to lay down....
thought it would be just few drops or yet the most a few ml in a syringe....My eyes got widened in shock seeing 8 syringes being brought by the doc my way. No this cant be...am I gonna donate blood or just give blood for some test??????? while all the questions running in my brain...he carefully put a needle to my vein and by changing one after the other filled all the syringes he had. He was quite careful I have to admit...it dint pain...but seeing 8 syringes filled with dark red fluid and imagining that its from me I felt a bit giddy......

Anyways he then asked me to wait......after about 30min...he called me up and told that the blood report is quite normal no sign of appendicitis (Hammayyaaa batikipoyaanu :D:D:D anukundi my happy soul)......but we want you to stay in the hospital over night and want to make an another blood control tommorrow morning (WHAATTT-ee fitting enti malli). You can stay here and we will give some liquid infusion (never got this in life...babooooi i was scared to death) to night and check blood tomorrow...thought for a while and said no there is no need of infusion you just stay over...

I made my effort......I live very close by and I dont have any pain now...I am quite normal doc so is it possible that I go home to night and will be here early to get the blood test done...Pleaseeeeeeeeeee
Doc: No, I understand your problem it is more convenient for you to go home but its very difficult for us if there is an emergency need in the night....I would prefer you stay here and if the blood reports are normal you can go home immediately...

Me: (very sadly) Hmmmmm can I eat something....I am hungry
Doc: (thought for a while) Hmm haa yaaa a little bit but eat or drink only until 12´o clock midnight...not after that

Hmmmmmm (gundu raayi laaga untee naaku rathri emergency antaa) couldnt bear this...went back to tamms who is very seriously playing pacman on his mobile in the waiting loounge and told the good news.....in a very diplomat way ya stay its just one night if they say then it should be necessary kadaa...whats your problem in staying....(bhagavantudaa ee kashtalu enti).

Nurse came over to take me to the room...both of us followed her to the 9th floor of the hospital...room no 18....its a two beds room...already there is a old lady sleeping on the Bed1...nurse started explaining something in german...I interrupted her please I cant understand it clearly can you speak in english.....the lady on Bed1 suddenly woke up and said she is saying that you have to stay on this bed for the night...thats the washing room...this is the closet for your jacket etc etc....thats the least expected thing that has happened a old sick lady in germany speaking such good english more over explaining me all the stuff...oh she is so sweet...me and tamms looked at her in a very thankful and releaved happy feeling....she introduced herself and both also did...the nurse was also happy meanwhile that her job was simplified.....she took my jacket hung in the closet and said that I shouldnt eat anything...I was shocked (pastulunchestunnaru ra babooooi nannuu)....I immediately shooted....doc told me to eat...I am hungry....nurse thought for a while and said she will go and confirm and let me know...after a minute a big fat male nurse came in with a pile of bread toasts...you can eat only these nothing else....drink as much water as you like.....
Bed1lady: Its good for you not to eat (she was already having her dinner) just one night dont worry.
Hmmm I went out into the visitors waiting room with tamms sat there for sometime and later (9:00 pm) he left. I accompanied him to the escalators area....he went down and I pushed the door to the rooms...it was locked....I tried on the other side...that was locked too...I am stuck here...oh nooooo......looked around and found a internal phone or bell whatever.....pressed the station 82 button and gladly someone answered.....I told that I am stuck here in the corridor...he asked me to wait...the same fat male nurse came over...think he recognised me because of my language....these doors are locked at about 8:45 pm he said... I nodded my head went to the room....got freshened up, looked out from the window....what a beautiful view I love to see the citylights at night...I simply love it...I forget myself at that beautiful view anytime....stayed there for about 5min looking around trying to recognize any familiar buildings.....
Bed1 lady: how long you have been here in germany
Me: since 4 years
BL: hmm thats long time what are you doing
Me: studying in the uni
BL: I also used to work for the uni some years back
Me: Hmm
BL: where are you from originally
Me: India
BL: oh I have never been there
Just formal talk about her and she she couldnt talk much as she had breathing problem because of lung infection.....she slept off in no time
I couldnt sleep got a magazine from the waiting room...filled up the sudoku puzzles...tamms called up talked to him for a while....dint know what to do....thousands of thoughts coming randomly in the mind...I am hungry...why did i go to the doctor...I am feeling normal...why am I made to stay here...why did they give me these bread toasts....should i tell this at home or not ??????????? many many more....i dozed off with all this...

Beautiful Song!!!!!!!!!!! It made up my day!!!!!!!!!!

UNA PALOMA BLANCA
George Baker Selection (The Netherlands)


When the sun shines on the mountain
And the night is on the run
It's a new day
It's a new way
And I fly up to the sun

I can feel the morning sunlight
I can smell the new-mown hay
I can hear God's voice is calling
For my golden sky light way

Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Once I had my share of losing
for they locked me on a chain
Yes they tried to break my power
oh I still can feel the pain

Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Just found this...Kyaa likhaa hai bhaii...too good!!!!!!!!!

Jaane Se pehle, Ye hai Mera Aaj ka Khayal,
Un sab ke liye jo daude jaa rahe hai iss shehar mein,
Shehar Ke is daud mein,daudke karna kya hai??
Agar Yahi Jeena Hai dosthoon,tho marna kya hai??
Pehli Baarish mein train late hone ki phikr hai,
Bhool gaye bheegthe hue Tehalna kya hai??
TV Serials Ke Khirdaron Ka Saara Haal Hei Maloom,
Lekin Maa Ke Haal Poochne Ka Phursta Kahan Hai!!
Ab reth pe nange paav tehelthe kyon nahi,
108 hai channel,par dil behaltha kyon nahi!!
Internet pe duniya se tho touch mei hai,
Par Pados Mei kaun rehtha hain Jaanthe thak nahi !!
Mobile Landline Sabki Bharmaar hai,
Lekin jigri dosth thak pahunche, aise thaar kaha hai ??
Kab Doobthe Hue suraj ko dekha tha,yaad hai??
Kab Jaana tha sham ka guzarna kya hai??
Tho Dosthoon,
Shehar Ke is daud mein,daudke karma kya hai??
Agar Yahi Jeena Hai ,tho phir marna kya hai?? “

Bore bore boreeeeeeeeeee..........

Finished writing the short report...donno how it is...if it will meet profs expectations...if it is the right way of presenting the results???????????? questions questions questions so many.....no idea whats going on....i feel like modifying the report with some more details but when I open I dont want to touch it or change anything before showing it to prof. .....but again I am not sure if the description I wrote or the material I mentioned is enough or not.
He dint get time y´day so to get a diversion played around with Endnote and LATEX. Latex didnt work out so uninstalled and installed the whole software twice and finally was successful in creating a page.....its so beautiful!!!!!...all the effort spent is worth every minute when you see the output file.....

Got up at the last min in the morning as I absolutely forgot about the 8:30 weekly presentations....but managed to dropin at the right time....there was just one talk today from Marc about the recent research in fishery genetics.....it was very goood...really well framed and well presented...it was like a lecture rather a presentation.....enjoyed it a lot....
Again came back to my report with the urge of changing somethings...improve it...but no again after opening i dint feel like touching it....tried to catch prof but he again said tomorrow as he need to finish something else by evening....donno when i will come through this...comeon its just a small report basically prepared to know the gaps in the whole story and then plan the experiments to be repeated and this small thing is causing so much of tension in me..."Asalentoo ee gola" I feel like keeping it aside and think of the further work and proceed with planning...but unable to... Gawwwd I donno how I will manage to finish the main thesis this way......hope he checks it tomorrow and discuss atleast that will show the right direction and atleast I will know what to do with my thesis..hmmmmm lets see......

Watched Happy days one more time to sleep.....this is getting addictive as was with Godavari...I literally slept for 6 months only because of godavari.....its so much of relaxation....just slowly and calmly sliding into deep sleep listening to the dialogues of the movie and the scenes scrolling around in your memory....what a great feeling...I am mad I know but somehow these movies (Anand, Godavari, Happy Days) are so close to my heart...I feel a kind of sensitive relation with them.....I somehow feel belonging to them...hmmmm seriously I am mad....

Vidhi Ledu...Vidhi Ledu...Prathiroju Needae leraa..
Padilaechae Kerataala SariJodi Neevaeleraa..
Ee Desam Andhinchae Aadesam Neekaeraa..
Ee Shankham Oorinchae Aavesham Raaniraa..
RepuMaapu Neevaeraa...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa...
Manishai Veligipoveraa...
Thalakula Thaarallo..Velugula Dhaarallo...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa..
Manasuloni Maargamundhi Thelusukoraa ika...
Gurilenidae Baanam Inka Cherukoduu ila...
Prathiroju Neeekoka Paathamae Chaduvukuntuu Padaa..
Ika Ninnu Neevu Mosagisthu Mosaapothae Vrudha...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa...
Manishai Veligipoveraa...
Thalakula Thaarallo..Velugula Dhaarallo...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa..

Back in 2006 when I started this blog I named it as Great Expectations....I dont know why I called it so...I dont remember what my intention was in giving this heading to my blog...anyways it doesnt seem to fit to what I am gonna post here now...have to find a good appropriate name...hmmmm will think over and change it soon....

Today, Gave a report to Prof about the conference I attended last week. He seemed quite happy with my report though I wrote it in a very general sense..no details at all...coz I myself didnt understand most of the presentations as they are more related to medical research (all kinds of cancer, multiple sclerosis, stem cells etc etc..) sounds very interesting though....it was hard to follow the in depth research. I found the poster session more interesting....you can take as much time as you want to understand the concept and very friendly presenters are always around to explain the things to you....
Hmmm coming to the thesis documentation its been three weeks prof asked me to submit a brief report about the work done so that we can find the gaps and decide upon the lab work still to be done and the material needed for the thesis writing.....its too hard to put two years of work into one short report...I am going mad thinking of what to mention and what not....finally made up my mind to start with the table of contents and then expand each section. Even that is not as easy as I thought but am trying to bring out some senseful material.
In the meanwhile Prof already asked why I am taking such a long time to write this. He offered to correct it at what ever stage it is right now either by mail or sit together and go through the details. I tried to send an email but actually its too hard to explain every single detail as the report right now is very haphazard. So went and asked him if he has time to sit down with me and go through the results.
And he said that he meant to push me in doing it by offering the correction, but as it is my own thesis and I am responsible he asked me to go through it many times and decide for myself what to keep and what not (If I can do this why will I take so much time....) and then he will see if he can find some time tomorrow or the day after to sit with me.

Hmmmmmm kya socha tha, aur kya paya hai. mere gum ka sathi bhi koi nahi.........
Time to get back and put the things in order.

Day went on trying to figure out the design of the document, some blog reading, some google chatting, some browsing....seems like I am spending too much time on these other stuff...have to cut down this...its high time now.....

Eeee PhD entoo....eee thesis raayatam entoo....ee short reports entoo.....ee corrections entoo...eppatikoo veetanniti nundi vimukthi...

A New Start :)

Hmmm.....after nearly 2 long years....after saying bye to the old blog for a reason....today I feel like starting my blog again....I feel like putting my random thoughts into words....too many things going on in life and too many thoughts to share......lets see how far I can go....an another sneak peak in to the mirror of my heart.....