kitchch kitchch

Saturday night around 10´o clock...sitting in my closed airtight den ....Haatchchiii Haatchchiii!!!!....mmmm haaa Haaaaaaaaattchchii!!!!.....whats happening?? it doesn´t feel like a normal closed room sneeze....anyways (kebaab mein haddi samazhke) continued crooning with some more hurdles at different wavelengths and velocities (donno the unit for a sneeze :D) at intervals of 5mins until after an hour when I realized my jarred voice turning more unbearable. I calmed down for a minute to feel the difference and there it is....my throat is a bit itchi, rugged and scratchy.....a sudden flash and an alarm in my brain...I sensed the enemies .....the viruses....they seem to be on an attack.....should I start a war.....hmmm may be its just my presumption.....warriors dont fight at night......I decided to wait till the dawn speculating the probable reasons (if it is the attack of the viruses)....the brief walk in cold breeze to the market??? just some random exposure to aerosols flying around in the corridors??? some dust culprits from the bin providing hostage to the viruses and help them build secret army to attack????

The cruel ruthless decieving viruses have no war ethics..(papam ani vadilesthe rathri time lo donga debba teesaayi :X)...by dawn they are spread all around....they occupied the nose and throat territories and blocked them.....the frequency of the sneezes increased...me being a nonviolent soul....just neglected it after consulting the able minister Wikipedia who said...

"there is no historical proof that any known medical composition could directly defeat these viruses...they are self destructive and will completely subside in a week.....so is the famous saying written about them "Common cold resolves in 7 days without medicine and in one week with medicine"....they turn violent in the 2nd 3rd and 4th days...multiply in huge numbers causing blockages in the breath, temperature rise, headache, fatigue, cough and loss of apetite......only way to bear this is stay in the den...blow out the blockages, drink lot of ginger/peppermint tea and liquids"....hmmm

Following the expert advices I stayed calm till monday morning......the enemies seemed to have multiplied in millions over night...my voice turned baritonal and the nose completely blocked..Being overly confident on my stamina and not ready to pay the expenses of a working day because of these petty nonsensical enemies...I am a warrior....So there I go out of my den equipped with all the relaxants (paper tissues, tea bags, peppermints) to be fit to squeeze my master student prey with a new technique...an additional dose of ginger tea and generous amounts of pepper in the lunch saved me till 4´o clock....then the enemies reraised, started attacking....I couldnt work....I was furious, angry and slowly my patience levels started depriving and when they crossed the limit I decided to go back to the den to deal with them....my patience was treated as inability....come on YOU minute creatures.....You wanna fight....lets do it....I turned merciless and brutal...

Planning a strategy I immediately put on a big flask of water to boil.....added a big spoon of vicks to the steaming water and a pinch of turmeric for the extra disinfection......a bit of eucalyptus oil to work on the head....and there you go lets see who wins......steam was concentrated covered by the blanket.....heavy vapors breathed in to burn away and destroy for about 10min.....proud and satisfied...regained clear nose and throat....energised by the victory I focussed on the probable sites of origin...aerated the den for clean air and vaccumed the carpet for hidden colonies......showed the trash its destiny for providing hostage.....
To show the hidden viruses the real fun of war...prepared a very spicy pepper rasam......hot and fuming....and drank a big glass of it...there you goo.....all the left over enemies were traced and washed away...took an additional dose of peppermint after that......

My vengeant soul still not satisfied wanted to destroy all of them from their roots...leaving no chance of minute rebirth.....prepared another batch of steaming water with an extra large amount of vicks, turmeric....finally coming to the last part of my master strategy rubbed a huge amount of vicks vapourab on the nose and the throat...covered completely with a thick blanket ...I slept off.....Vicks has managed the rest of the task...I sweated and the timid, frightened, horrified enemies fled away for their life in the silent darkness of the night as they entered.....

I wokeup to a fresh new dawn today in my free clean happy kingdom.....no traces of enemies seen in the far distances (they might have fled to the MARS in horror)......pride of victory filling my nerves with new energy......I got ready and left my den (without any precaution accompaniments) HEHEHEHHAHAHHAHAHA


IAM A WARRIOR!!!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!! VIRUSES OUT THERE...TRY YOUR GUTS....FIGHT ME IF YOU ARE FOND OF HALF LIFE UNEXPECTED DEATH!!!!

Hence the saying rewritten "Common cold resolves in 7 days with/without medicine and in just 1 day with Srujana´s master strategy"

Statutory warning: the strategy mentioned above is purely for personal use...not to be tried by sensitive people and specially kids.

panga na lo panga na lo mujhse panga na lo koi
kyun ki abb main yuun badal gaya hoon
nahi main deewaana bana hoon mastaana
ab jamaane ko dikhaana hai ki main hoon cheej kya
kya main kal tak tha o yaaro, aaj kya main ban gaya
mujhse panga, panga panga na lo koi