When thoughts become words

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii again....

2009-03-12T19:49:00.002+01:00

After loooooong loooooong time as usual :):):) ya writing something then taking a break and again coming back has become regular with me now. Everytime I do this I feel hmmmmmm thats it I can never manage to write regularly...why should I even have a blog...I should delete it. But again I do not have heart to really delete it. I had started it with such a passion and because I am unable to continue hmmmm I feel very sick about myself. What to do I am like that only :):):) (tammus dialogue). Din´t seriously think when I was putting up the picture and caption of waning and waxing of moon on my page. But it is turning to be true in my life...... seriously my life is taking waning and waxing phases. OK had already given a lot of reasoning... will stop now......What ever it may be and after how ever long it may be coming to this page and writing here is simply superb and awesome as it always brings a lot of relief, peace and calm to both heart and mind. :):):)..... soooo very very happy to come back :):):).... unable to sleep today I suddenly felt a drive to write :):):) Sooooo here is my falshback until now.....Rings turning turning and turning back to 6 months.

After coming back to India for good some where in september last year.....relaxed and digested the complete return back for about 3 weeks...... life was stand still and lazing around at home got boring and I very much wanted to get in to a job that can keep both my mind and soul bijjeee....one fine day sat to work on my resume and posted it in Naukri and Monster....those are the only sites that I knew. After a month of browsing for various institutes and industries, sending applications and ho ho totally forgot also attended a seminar to give a guest presentation where I got to understand more about the biotech industry scenario in India. It had been 6 years I was out of the country and totally lost touch with the science proceedings in India. (manam asale ekkada vesina gongali akkade type :):)) what to do... had some very frustrated days where I thought to go back .... had some very happy days where I felt content that I have come back and made a right decision in doing so. :) Among all these diverse days with mixed thoughts and emotions I received a call for interview from a biotech company in Gurgaon. After a series of telephone interviews for a week I finally got selected. I was surprised that they chose me without conducting a personal interview. Hmmm strange but the company, my job profile were interesting enough...and my need to be engaged in some work made me accept the offer letter though the location is quite far away from home.

Days suddenly became very busy with all the preparations for the move....there was very less time for joining and many things to be done before that......the rush at home was no lesser than my move to germany except that the luggage packed had no limit. Amma came along with me to accompany me until I get settled. Thats the comfort of staying in India isn´t it...how ever far it may be within India we have our parents always with us, supporting and taking care. Even though the train journey was too long it dint seem so as I was travelling in India after long time and enjoyed each and every hour of it. Adjusting the luggage under the seats, talking to total strange fellow travellers and exchange information mostly about the stations and the train timings. Reading the magazine bought on the platform (it has its own special effect), looking at the people continuously walking through the comparments, donot know for what reason...looking through the window at the changing landscapes.....small stations passing by.....sharing snacks with the fellow travellers, eating home packed food....drinking but complaining about the quality of tea and coffee sold in the train......looking at the card game played by people in the opposite seat..... listening to music of various languages (thanks to the modern mobile phones....everyone want to play their music loud).....the the train stops in a station....looking through what station it was and the people getting down and new people getting in.....platform foods special for that place sold extensively and some of the travellers getting in with those foods...total rush hotch potch.....train again starts towards its destination with intensified rattling......and with the moon travelling along through the window and the train´s movement swinging you in to deep sleep.....its been ages that I had experienced that (the real essence of India) and every moment of it was delightful and made me happy that I am home among my own people...I am BACCKKK!!!!

Its my first time travelling to Delhi...so had fun looking at all the passing by new places (we crossed Agra too but couldn´t see the Tajmahal from the train) and after 24 hours from the start reached the capital city. Managed to bring out all the luggage and got into the cab, headed towards Gurgaon. Took about 45 mins after a little bit of enquiry found the hotel and finally there I was in Gurgaon on the 14th of December to start a new work in a totally new place. :):):):) Until the next post in a very haryanavi ishtyle RAM RAM.....

Yeh jo des Hai tera

Swades hai tera

tujhe hai pukara

yeh woh bandhan hai

jo kabhi toot nahin sakta

TERROR!!! TERROR!!! TERROR!!!

2008-11-27T14:41:00.006+01:00

Coming back here after long long time.....I have long reasons and long stories which I definetely like to share and will do that very soon. Today I could not be silent as the attack on Mumbai is just tooo terrible to digest.

Heard a lot of news in past when I was still in Germany about such attacks in Mumbai, Delhi and Hyderabad. But somehow by the time I knew about the news I get to hear that everything got calmed down and people started normal life again. I used to feel worried about the situation until I read the whole news, may be I discuss this with a couple of indian friends and together we feel bad for the people effected and express anger at the extremists responsible and also at the administration who is unable to control such things. In the next moment I get involved in my work and forget all about it until a colleague asks me did you hear about the situation in your country? is it near to your place? is your family safe?...I used to say ya thats so sad, I do not know why this is happening to India and all the people are so much effected and ya thankfully this happened quite far away from my place and my family is safe.

Hmmm but today I am in India and I have been watching the live telecast of the situation in more than 10 channels since yesterday night. For almost 22 hours now none of us at home neither switched the TV off nor changed the channel to some other entertainment program. I saw the guns firing, flames rising high from different parts of Taj hotel at different times, fire brigades trying to stop the fire, occasional hazy view of some persons from the hotel windows, desperately written SAVE US on the hotel window by some one struck inside, washing of the blood stains from the floors of the railway station, a civilian running with blood shed hand as a bullet hit his fingers, reporters continuously trying to obtain any piece of information from the site and cameras not to miss even a minute movement in the whole picture and analysts sitting in the studios working for the whole day trying to discuss all possibilities of the situation, the pictures of the intruders clearly shown, hardly 25 years old with long guns, smart looking and casually dressed and guys who seem to have all right to enjoy and have a beautiful and happy life, police working continuously, military called in carrying on rescue operations to save atleast few and know how many are struck inside and know why all this is done, one of the rescued women newly married crying loud to death.........

Its been 22 hours since the first shot was fired and still the situation is not controlled, 9 policemen died, more than 100 civilians died and around 300 injured, 5 of the terrorists are killed, fire is destroying Taj hotel step by step, do not know the number of hostages stuck inside the hotel, do not know how many are pointing guns at them. God the whole coverage is bringing shivers in me, so well planned attack, a direct one, guns madly firing at public on roads, armed men casually walked into the city to create this havoc and no one could recognise them. What should be done to control this? The violent side in me says why the hell are these military and police taking so much time to go inside and finish all the militants and in a flash bring all the people outside. The calm side says that there are lives of donot know how many people struck inside and any hurried step by the police will keep their lives in risk. So unable to do anything.... I am just a spectator.....I am just a TV watcher sitting worried and disturbed. Hmmm I cannot do anything except to speculate different scenarios depending on the news obtained.

And silently pray for the people and police who gave their lives. May their souls rest in peace and pride on service to the nation.

How and when will all this come to an end?. When will those extremists understand the meaning of happiness and this is not the right way to obtain it. How those young guys have such stone hearts to fire guns at people. I so much wish that by some means if one can reach the hearts of all these people and make them understand the simple truth that "THE BUSINESS OF LIVING IS THE HAPPINESS OF BEING ALIVE". Who will tell them? Only a miracle can do that...I sincerely pray to God that One fine morning all the extremists should wakeup with a happy and lovely heart to see the beauty in life and enjoy the feeling of global brotherhood. May peace be in this world.

Ae jindgi gale laga le
Ae jindgi gale laga le
Hum ne bhi tere har ik gam ko
gale se lagaya hai
Hai na ?
Ae jindgi gale laga le

Ae jindgi

My Hat

2008-09-11T01:04:00.007+02:00

Considering both the work and personal interests of the candidate PhD hats are very specially designed and prepared by the colleagues a few days before the defense. Here are the contents of my hat :):):)

Inspired by the olympic season that was going on, experiments on the comparison of few techniques were given olympic places :):) placed onthe upper side.

The models of two islands in Europe I visited for my study are present on either sides.

The right one is Helgoland in the North Sea where I collected the samples and the left one is Crete in Greece where I did taxonomy of the samples.

In between both the islands is seen the photo of ship "Heincke" on which I cruised for one week for the collection of samples.

Then is the glass slide with three arrays attached...the actual

microarray (DNA chip) I developed duirng this work.

The is the big fish with its stomach open....indicates analyses of the gut content of fish.

Small fish, molluscs, crabs, shells present here and there indicate the invertebrate organisms I worked on.

The cups and the pipettes indicate molecular biological work.

A big chicken is seen on the rear end as its my most favourite dish.

Coffee beans are spread all over as its my most favourite drink.

The bottom of the hat consisted photo memories of Bremen with the City centre-Dom place, statue of Bremen musicians, statue of Roland, Science museum-Universum, Space centre pencil tower in the university and the pictures of microarrays all around.

The most surprising part which I least expected is.......................can you believe that my colleagues upon suggestion by tamms pasted a photo of Mahesh babu on the inner side of my hat :D:D:D incredible isn't it....I was shocked when I saw this and the happiness was boundaryless. The love showed in making this hat totally touched me and I want to thank Rijuta, miss x, Reinhard, Frank and tamms for making such a lovely hat and taking all pains to collect the things.

The "D" day

2008-08-17T22:49:00.007+02:00

ugust 13th a unforgettable day in my life. Its a day when my dream of 12 years, my aim of coming to Germany and my agonies in Germany for 6 years what not each and every minute of life that I spent here was fulfilled, has been worthy and left me satisfied to have invested this time. It has been the most unexpected, most surprising, highly tensed (naralu tegipoyentha), highly relaxing (gallo telipotunnantha) and the most happiest day....actually its not a day its just one and half hours. Ya one and half hours on august 13th (12´noon to 1´30 pm) has effected me in many ways. I was shaking with fear, I was panicking, I was thirsty, I was sweating, I was b

lank in mind, earth under my legs was falling apart, I was stubborn, I was fragile to breakdown any moment what not it was a mixture of every single emotion a human being can experience :):):):):).

Do not think that its too much of exaggeration I am saying the truth. I actually dont have words to describe most of the feelings (adedoo cinemalo raka rakaluga undi annattuuu...not in a comical sense though).

Ya the day before my defense was very hectic in its own way with the preparations. We have a tradition here in the department to arrange some snacks if the defense is after noon or lunch if it is before noon. And as my defense is at 12 and because this will be the last chance to meet all my friends and let them taste some indian food and more over nanna is here and he would feel good sharing our food with my colleagues I thought of arranging Indian lunch. With the suggestion of my friend A to self cook the food instead of ordering from a restaurant....after a lot of discussion we stuck to this idea and so I had to do the grocery shopping and cook two of the dishes for the next day. By 7 in the evening leaving all the kitchen work to my very very helpful and loving friends and tamms I locked myself in the room for preparation coz by then I was dead tensed about the presentation. I started practicing the presentation slide by slide and the blood inside

me was running in full speed that however hard I try I was swallowing the words and it took a while to calm down and concentrate and without having any time limit I practiced just the speech of my presentation. I also rehearsed my dress and checked if everything is fine. Had some dinner and went to bed. I couldn´t sleep that night. I closed my eyes and all the slides were revolving around in my mind. A small thought of the defense..what questions will be asked what if I cant answer kept me awake until I dont know and my eyes were wide open far ahead of the time I set the alarm to (deenne tension antaaremo appude telisindii...nannu nene nammalekapoyanu alarm mogina gantaki gaani legavanu kaani aa roju alarm moge ganta mundare melukuva vachesindi).

Nanna also was awake in the next room by that time I suppose he was also concerned and felt the pressure of whats gonna happen to his daughter. Hmmmm

We got ready by 8 and arranging all the things to be

carried to the department we hired a taxi by 9 and reached the department. I thought of doing one rehearsal of the presentation to check the

duration of my speech. But before that I had to arrange all the cutlery, tables and basically everything needed for lunch in the corridor. With the help of my colleagues I managed to arrange the setting and A and tamms has arrived by then and took over the actual food arrangements. I then got time at 11 to practice the presentation so taking Alessia and Reinhard in to the seminar room I gave a talk which came for exactly 20 min. They suggested that I talk a bit slowly so that I can utilize the whole 25min, the actual time allowed.

One by one the examiners started coming, colleagues from the neighbouring department, indian students from the masters course, friends and co-workers from other working groups. Nearly 35 people have gathered quite unexpectedly. Seeing them my temperature fell down and my hands became chill cold. Meanwhile the most awaited moment for all except me has come. My supervisor Prof. Dr. Blohm gave a short introduction about the procedure of the defense and he also mentioned special welcome to nanna for coming all the way from India to be present on the occasion. I then stood up and started my presentation. I totally forgot what went on yesterday ot what happened today, all that I can see are my slides and a hall full of audiences (mostly very familiar faces). Dont know from where that energy has entered me...very unusually I spoke very slow and very clear and without any panicking...I couldnt believe myself....after the first two slides I calmed down totally and smoothly went through all the slides. It took 25 min to finish that and then the discussion started...first by the examination committee and then the audience. My second supervisor Prof. Heyser started with a very basic question and by answering it a little bit of confidence grew in me and slowly I could face all the questions that were asked. i dont know if the answer is right or not I was just saying out everything that came into my mind without any pause or hesitation. The last two questions asked by my postdoc were a bit tricky...I donot have much knowledge in phylogenetics and he asked something related...I was a bit disappointed by that but he asked me a second question and I had to think for a while to recollect the answer...but finally I gave him the right answer. Releaved was I that moment and totally wanted that the time is over for discussion. Luckily that turned out to be the last question in the time frame and all of us except the examination committee were sent out of the hall. While coming out I passed by my Prof and he slwoly whispered in my ear "very good" (appudokaa ayomayam expression nenu...anandam bhayam kalisi)

Appudu start ayindi asalayina tension...dhak dhak dhaaad dhaad ani gunde kottukotam I came back to this world and started recollecting the answers I gave in the discussion. I felt terrible not knowing if I had conviced the jury or made any horrible mistakes. Everyone standing with me were just busy chatting and my ears were deaf for all that conversation. I couldn't stand anywhere otherthan the hall door and I waited for 15min over there my BP raising every second. My supervisor came out and just asked me to come in. I entered the room and all the other jury had very serious looks.....my BP fell down at once and then Prof started speaking saying that they had to make decisions on two points. One if they have to declare me as Doctor or not...I was pale and ready to faint.....he continued....we all agreed on yes (gunde pattesukuni hamma anukunna) and the second point is that what grade we have to give you.....I was dead by then as its very critical situation in my case.....(I got magna cum laude"very good" and cum laude "good" for my written thesis. So to make an average with the grade of the defense would be critical....a single mark from my defense can put me in good or very good).....Probably prof saw my condition of about to fall on the ground he held my hands and said we decided on Magna cum laude.......I felt dizzy and could nt bear that happiness.....

my prof held my hand very tight so that I donot fall down and everyone else started laughing by then and slowly started hugging me and congratulating one by one... Prof Annette Becker very sweetly said in my ears "you were very good" my happiness had no boundaries....tears rolled down and I was in air.....we came out and Prof announced it loud to the audience....nannaaa couldnt help the tears coming from his eyes too and one by one all of them congratulated and then I was given my PhD hat by my colleagues....lunch followed :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Yeh din kyaa aaye

Lage phool hasne dekho basanti basanti

hone lage mere sapne :):):):)

Baaaaaacccccckkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-21T22:28:00.004+02:00

This has been really really loooooooooooooong hibernation. I am sure many might have thought that I won´t come back. Hmmmmm even I wasn´t sure that I will ever finish my thesis and will sit relaxedly again to write my musings. But finally I finished everything...not everything though ok 70% of the task and there is a big break now to complete the rest 30%. Ya I submitted my thesis :D:D:D:D YES YES YES unbelievable is n´t it. At least for me it is still like a dream even though its been 10 days. Ok I submitted my thesis my great grandh my big book what all I used to call it my PhD write up etc etc on the 10th of this month which by itself is an unforgettable day in many ways. This values 70% in my final evaluation and the rest 30% will be covered by the final defense or the final presentation which is gonna be on the 13th of August, the D Day.

Till then there is this big gap to come to this world again and look at the happenings around. Ya I was a bit late to come to this place coz many many things are happening in life these days. Actually there are so many stories to share here that I am totally confused what to put first and what next.

OK first let me start with saying thanks to all my friends here personally and to each one individually. THANK YOU sooooo much gals and guys for all the support, encouragement and wishes. It felt very nice and inspiring knowing that so many people are wishing me success and all your kind words boosted that extra energy in to me to walk forward and reach the edge.

Thank you thank you thank you soooo much Keerthi, Satish, NA, Sree and all others that posted comments on different posts of mine. I felt very very happy seeing all those. Thank you once again.

The rest of the stories will follow this....the last days before submitting and the days after submission :):):):)

Hibernation.....

2008-04-11T17:55:00.003+02:00

Hmmmm this is my 40th post....thats too fast...I expected to get to this hibernating point atleast after making half a century. Anyways gals and guys I suppose I have bored you enough sharing my ramblings of being a PhD student and these seem to be never ending for me right now. The thesis writing is getting on to my nerves and I am unable to think of anything else. I cant update this blog for a while from now even though I have so much to write.....my daily musings and many many stories....I miss reading my favourite blogs and writing comments too:(:(:(.....I just am unable to do it....I hope this will be understood and my very beloved visitors I promise to keep posting and start visiting others too once I come to a safe point in my thesis writing. Till then you have to bear this hibernation:):)....Thank you soo much...and please pray for me to survive this and come out of it very soon :):):)
Alvida!!!!

Contrast!!!!!

2008-04-04T15:29:00.010+02:00

Its been a while I stepped into my blogsphere.....hmmmm.....been a bit occupied these days with mine and the students work.....I dropped in today as I had to share this and let out my agony somehow somewhere...

I came to the second most difficult part of my thesis...INTRODUCTION....god only knows how I am writing it...this is one part which I am not at all good at. Writing materials & methods I used in my work and the results I got... is very much easy as I know almost everything about my work...why I did the experiment..what happened in it..and what came out....how to interpret them. Though not easy as it sounds to keep it in words, I could write those parts uninterruptedly....somehow there was a continuous flow of ideas to put one after the other.....the order cameup involutarily

BUT....

now the Introduction....it should contain a combined compiled review of all the literature published in the field which in principle drove me to the aim of my thesis. The definition itself sounds very boring isn´t it :(..sadly it is the most important and unavoidable section...imagine my trauma in reading all those relevant papers (though I read a lot of them from the beginning of my work dated june 2005.....I had to read them again)....to check if they fit in to my story now.....and how to quote them, where and when along with the citations...baaaaap reyy it is hell lot of work.....the more papers you read the more crazy you go as all the different views keep dancing in your brain (alanti ilanti dance kaadu ekanga BREAK, ROCK, HIP HOP DANCE lu kalipi chestunnayi). This writing is taking a very very long time as getting a clear picture of the whole scenario you want to build towards your aim takes a while to figure out.....I hardly find words to fill up and completing a single sentence is taking ages......how am I gonna finish writing paragraphs and chapters...GAAWWDD...(antha gajibijeee gandara golanga undii)

When I make this complaint to my family or friends that I am facing difficulty finding words and building the topic.....they are just laughing at mee.....making fun of me that I write such long long really loooooong stories and posts in my blog and I am finding difficulty in filling my thesis....For a minute even I thought that was true....I try very hard to keep my posts short (many people already complained about my long posts)..... but the flow of thoughts is never ending here.....and its exactly the opposite with my thesis.....its difficult and I dont know how to write elaborately :(:(
I am very popular in my aquaintances about talking endlessly, writing big mails, big posts, narrating never ending stories (2 gantala cinemani 4 gantalu cheppagala ghanatha naake dakkutundi)....its an old habit, I cant keep anything short.....but whats happening with my thesis :(:(:( may be this is the difference between informal nonsensical writing and formal senseful scientific writing...I have to confide that I am no good at it...specially introduction part (I wish we have a scientific writer in the group as many of the institutes in the US do... specially for this purpose) Hats off to all those who can make scientific documents easily....(lab lo entha work ayina cheyyochu kaani raayatam baboooi chala kashtam)

See I could fill up all the above 1000s of words in hardly 15min....to write the same amount of introduction will take ages...hmmmm

Have been listening to the songs of Naram Garam and here are some nice lyrics...

"badi aarazu thi ke vo din bhi aaye
tere naam se ham kud ko bulaaye
tere naam se do jahaan mil gae hain
hamein raaston ki ...

hamein raaston ki zaroorath nahi hai"

Naa telugu maatalu :):):)

2008-04-01T12:32:00.003+02:00

వంశీ, సతీష్ లు తెలుగులో రాయటం చూసి నేను కూడా ఎలా ఉంటుందో చూద్దామని ఈ చిన్న పోస్ట్ రాస్తున్నా. :) హిహిహిహిహి భలే ఉందిలే ఇలా ఒక్కొక్క అక్షరం కలుపుకుంటు రాస్తుంటె :) థ్యాంక్యు వంశీ ఈ సైట్ నాకు చెప్పినందుకు. ఆందరిని చూసి ఎదో అనుకున్నా కాని కొంచం కష్టంగానే ఉంది, బానే ఓపిక కావలీ, అలవటవ్వాలి అప్పుడు ఫాస్ట్ ఫాస్ట్ గా రాసేయొచ్చు :):)

ఇది రాస్తుంటే నాకో కోతి ఆలోచన వచ్చిందీ హిహిహి వియ్ ఆల్వేయ్స్ వ్రైట్ తెలుగు ఇన్ ఇంగ్లీష్ లెటెర్స్, వై డొంట్ వియ్ వ్రైట్ ఇంగ్లీష్ ఇన్ తెలుగు లెటెర్స్ :)...ఈవెన్ థిస్ లుక్స్ ఫైన్ ఇస్ న్´ట్ ఇట్ :):).... హట్స్ ఆఫ్ టు థోస్ హు ఇన్వెంటెడ్ థిస్.... (కోతికి కొబ్బరి చిప్ప దొరికితే ఇలానే ఉంటుంది మరి)

ఇక మీరు ఈ సుత్తి భరించలేక నన్ను తిట్టుకోటం మొదలెట్టే లోపు నేను ఆపెయ్యటం మంచిదని అనుకుంటున్నాను. అమ్మో నాకు ఆయాసం కూడా వచ్చింది...ఇక ఉంటాను...ముందు ముందు మంచిగా అలవాటు చేసుకుని రాయటానికి ప్రయత్నిస్తాను. టా టా.

Focus...Be yourself...Be natural!!!!

2008-03-29T23:00:00.007+01:00

I was doubtful and had no idea about how to present the sequencing data in my thesis in a proper way. Thought for long time about different methods but still dint find any satisfactory one. So came up with this general curiosity and a hope to get some help by refering some of the earlier pHD thesis submitted in the department. Immediately logged into the university network and downloaded pdf files of about 5 recent thesis submitted by my ex-colleagues. Two of them are directly related to my work (not exactly my project but the technology used is the same) and the rest are completely different topics, but I wanted to check the approach of their writing. When I actually saw them they weren´t of much use as those are written in a cumulative way (atleast three publications from the work and a short summary of about 20 pages connecting and describing the publications).
Initially I also wanted to do that..write my thesis in cumulative way....life would have been much happier and simpler if that had worked out :(:(:( sadly I am not so lucky.....prof did not find any time to correct my publication as he is very busy and meanwhile I am running out of time.....so he asked me to drop the idea and write a normal thesis because of which I now ended up writing my great grandh (inka tala toka leni adbhuthamayina, ananthamayina, anirvachaneeyamayina, inkaa naake ardham kaani naa mahaaa grandhamu)

Anyways as I opened the downloaded files to just check the presentation of the results parts, out of irresistible attraction and curiosity I started going through the other parts of the thesis. And thats the mistake i did.....the more I read the other thesis the more i started feeling depressed, confused and completely low. Losing my confidence all kinds of doubts started arising in my mind...is my thesis good?? is my writing ok?? am I clear about my results?? did I present everything i know....or did I miss something??? is this the right way to present.....do i need to change the layout...change the order of the experiments...above all is the matter enough...do I need to shorten it or expand it...hmmmmm ayyyooooo I am so much confused......I spent almost a whole evening comparing my write up with the previous ones and getting more depressed with each section referred. Though a part of me was saying not to worry and let prof go through the matter and his remarks would be the ones I should work on, the other one was not ready to stop or atleast forget the comparison :(:(:(:(....

After many hours of internal fight about this.....refreshing my mind and clearing the data from the other thesis completely....asking a few essential questions about the actual aim of the thesis, what is a thesis....how natural and genuine the writing should be depending on personal vision and approach towards presentation of one´s own work....finally i could gain the strength to calm my mind and get back to my writing on my own in my own way.....I even had to get a new pair of glasses to energise and boost my thinking power :D:D:D(kalladdalu boledu telivitetalni gnananni istayani chinnappati nundi naako nammakam)....with a more studious and intellectual and nerdy look :D:D:D....just kidding..actually bought a pair of new glasses today in a sooper dooper offer (60€ worth glasses 10€ ke kottesaa sale offer loo).....

Anyways lesson learnt is not to make unnecessary comparisons and waste time (buying glasses also ;)).....just FOCUS and be yourself, be natural and write whatever you think and feel is right...once your heart is satisfied..you are gonna satisfy others hearts too... :):):)

I even feel the same with blogging....somedays when I browse lot and lot of blogs (for encouragement) with variety of issues and variety of interesting stories...I feel very confused and depressed about my posts....all kinds of questions arise in me about the content..will it interest anyone...what nonsense I am writing here...am I making myself clear blah blah blah....BUT when I post a genuinely inspired post of any kind any topic for my pleasure...it is definetely applauded :):):)

So at anytime anywhere anypoint of life it is always good to just Focus and be ourselves to get out the BEST of us!!!

Would like to post my current favourite song which I am listening now though it is no way related to the above post....it is from the movie JALSA(Pondalante victory, Poraatam compulsory)...Gallo telinattundee

I specially loved these beautiful lines

Urvasi voo nuvvu, rakshasi voo nuvvu, preyasi voo nuvvu naa kallaki
Oopiri voo nuvvu, oohala voo nuvvu, ooyala voo nuvvu naa manasuki

Toorupu voo nuvvu, vekuva voo nuvvu, suryudi voo nuvvu naa ningiki
Jaabili voo nuvvu, vennela voo nuvvu, taaraka voo nuvvu naa rathriki

Suhaana safar

2008-03-26T23:21:00.008+01:00

My daily travel to and fro university and home is by a very beautiful, clean, safe, spacious, reliable, punctual, perfect and THE best BSAG (Bremen Straßenbahn AG) bus service. (Bremen lo bus lu chala punctual, fast mastaaru...time ayithe chalu ekke daaka kooda aagavu type :)). I spend around 20 mins everyday morning and evening in these excellently engineered picture perfect public service angels (I live in automobiles paradise called germany but ikkada car driving license chala expensive suma....prapanchamloo ekkada undavu intha viddooramayina fees lu).

I have been travelling in these services for the last 4 years so much so that I remember almost all the stops of all the lines...timetables of atleast 10 lines I travelled very extensively while living in different areas of the city....know the connecting lines byheart from many of the stops..hehhehe I also have a favourite seat for which I eagerly look and wish to be empty when I get into the bus or tram. Enough of introduction and advertisement to BSAG, my topic here is not that..

Everyday I get into the bus with my ipod plugged into my ears with my favourite collection queued up and I sit in my favourite seat if its free or an another window seat where I can be in my own world. Then with the songs in the background I switch in to my favourite past time, ......WATCHING PEOPLE :)...I love it!!! may it be just out of interest in observing different people, different dressing styles or in general just for time pass.

Variety of people travel with me everyday.....beautifully dressed sweet grandmas and grandpas going to the hospital or to the park, kids going to the schools, employees of the supermarkets, banks, university, young mothers with the baby prams going either to the kindergarten or to the hospital or just to stroll in the park nearby, and majority of the people are students from the nearby hostel as the bus goes to the university. Most of the co-passengers are the same and now I recognise them very well as we all take the same bus everyday (I mean sametime)...I know where they get in...which stop they get down...what they normally do during the journey...who they talk with...if they get in with partners or alone...do they have glasses....the jackets they normally wear, the bags they carry, the caps they wear, their music players etc etc :D:D:D. Different kind of activities are performed by different people.

Old people usually sit staring out of the window and concentrating on the passing stops, and if they have a company most of the time they are chatting rather complaining about their pets (cats or dogs....naaku chaala rojulaki kaani ardham kaaledu iddaru bammalu valla pillala (grand children) gurinchi kaadu pillula (cats) gurinchi maatladukuntunnarani).....Employees normally read news papers or novels, supermarket employees often start giving touch ups to their makeup....young mothers usually chat with their fellow mothers or just concentrate and forget the world watching the kid in the pram (they are the most adorable and the cutest of the passengers)...school kids are usually in groups so they are always blabbering on all random out of the blue topics which no one can understand or follow......then comes the students some read novels, some read text books, some keep correcting documents, some will be preparing for a presentation or an exam....some chat with their friends about any random issue, courses..exams...lectures...discotheks...pubs....movies..football...tv any thing...and majority of them have their music players hanging and plugged in their ears...

Among all these regular normal people, my special interest and attention is towards a class of people called Dreamers....their number is very low...atmost 5 or 6 among some 30-50 travelling at a time..these people just sit silently most of the times hugging their bags, or hand under chin and keep staring....no where...their eyes may be pointed out of the window or just inside the bus but their look is not there.....they are looking in to the infinity....deep in thoughts.... somewhere beyond this physical world, may be they are peeping into their own brains digging some past incidents or dreaming about something they wish to happen....the expression on their faces is mostly blank and puzzled....

very seldom some of them break down, eyes filled with water and tears rolling on the cheeks and they make a vain effort to control them..lest noticed by others....I feel so sad for them...(paapam entoo kashtam)...feel like going and hugging them, asking them whats wrong, hearing their problem and do something to make their heart feel light...these people stay in my memory for long time even though one of us get down the bus...

There are other kind of dreamers, the other side of the coin...the real dreamers....most of the time they behave as if they are all alone and all the others are just invisible..they nod their head a lot, blink a lot, scratch their nose a lot, adjust their hair a lot...their eyes always seem to say something, as if holding a very sweet thought, their lips tightly sealed or pressed under the teeth clearly controlling the bursting out laughter, a sweet naughty hesitant smile escaping the pressure once in a while, a hearty laugh coming out sometimes forgetting the surroundings....these people drag my attention a lot and I try to figure out whats going on inside them...did they find love, had nice moments with their partner, did someone praise their beauty, did they just win some lottery, are they gonna start a new job that day, did they finish their assignment....what is it??? or is it just that they had nice coffee in the morning...saw a funny poster on the way....remembered some scene from a movie they watched y´day.....some news they read in the morning....was appreciated at work...what is it???

whatever it may be I dont like to disturb them...I have no feeling to go and ask them...I am happy just watching them.....their smile brings an instant smile on my face too, looking at them makes me happy, thinking that they are having a beautiful thought in their brain makes me feel light, I forget all my issues for a while and all the surroundings start seeming beautiful and I carry this for long though I dont remember the person.....for the next few hours I am happy....hmmm...Life is Beautiful for atleast one in this big world....

"Zindagiii kaisi hai paheliii haiii

Kabhi to hasaayee

Kabhi ye rulayeee

Zindagiii"

Instances and observations like this often make me think who am I in this big world inhabited by some millions of unknown strange people where everyone has their own life, their own issues....Hmmm I hope all of us have such kind of moments atleast once in life :):):)....anyways wish everyone to BE HAPPY and HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!

Money making Vs. Intelligence

2008-03-26T16:20:00.010+01:00

Had a small conversation during lunch today with my friend A and my colleague J. The conversation was started by J.....she enquired about the profession of A´s husband and expressed her amusement about him earning lot of money being a engineer. The conversation slowly moved to SAP professionals (Indian SAP´s in US) as A announced that not engineers but SAP s are the highest paid professionals in the world as they are very intelligent. I immediately shot at her saying that recieving high pay cheques and being SAP professionals has nothing to do with intelligence....as I always get very much irritated by this comment and by the common notion of us Indians relating intelligence to a particular profession and the salary drawn (as if intelligence is the sole property of only high salary recievers)...the conversation was diverted later but the issue is still lingering in my mind.

What´s the definition of intelligence??? Who are all the IIT graduates, IIM graduates, world renowed scientists, talented medical professionals, 24X7 hrs round the clock working science researchers, brain moulding professors and teachers, literature stalwarts, basic engineering professionals, automation engineers, architects, electronics engineers, agriculture researchers, space researchers, economists, IAS and other civil services stand outs.......who are all these people....are they not called intelligents?????? NO ofcourse not....they are not intelligent because they dont draw some 100k US dollars per year as an SAP consultant in US...

I do respect real SAP consultants (here I mean real professionals who had their basic education in this field and who really strived hard putting brain into it out of sheer enthusiasm and interest and love for that particular tool)...its a very wonderful amazing software developed by a very renowed team for the efficient management of any kind of firm.....and it does justify and their brains are really worth paying huge salaries as the turnover profit of the software is also huge....I definetely consider those people intelligent and I bow down for their brains....BUT then

Who are all these so called intelligent desi people drawing heavy salary cheques from very big labelled companies and calling themselves SAP consultants...who are they???? the so called H1B visa holders, thousands of them migrating to US every year designating themselves as SAP consultants.....are they real SAP professionals, did they get their basic education in SAP, are they really passionate about the software....above all how many of these SAP professionals know the exact elaboration of the acronym S A P????...what is their work profile????..how are they taken for the jobs????...why are they paid such huge amounts???? are my never answered doubts particularly seeing my very average minded friends graduating in some kind of basic biology and engineering subject.....and then taking a intensive crash SAP course for 6 weeks in some institute in hyderabad....getting the H1B visa filing some 10 years of fake experience in the field...fly to US and the next month proudly informing all his aquaintances that he is working in Hi-Fi company and drawing 100k US dollars per year.....he suddenly becomes intelligent in the whole circle....people converse about him and refer him as intelligent though you actually know him and his talents very well since childhood.....How did he become intelligent over night??? answer is....his salary made him intelligent??

No wonder if an illiterate who doesnt know anything about different professions, the essence of them and the passion involved in taking up the subject, hardship involved in excelling in the field talks this way as he only sees the outcome, the salary....BUT why we educated people talk like this.....why are we underrating other professions, why are we degrading our own fields and passions as we dont get much salary in this....when are we gonna change and start appreciating the real talent and recognise the real passion and intelligence in other fields....

dragged away with the high demand flow, bagging the oppurtunity in the bloom, grasping anything that comes your way in the struggle for existence surely will earn you good bank balance and if you are content with that, boasting about your salary, assets you have earned in India, your car, your house...congrats you are intelligent and you are a member of the so called intelligent people´s club...

HOW LONG WE ARE GONNA BE RECOGNISED BY OUR BANK BALANCE???? WHEN IS THIS GONNA CHANGE??? WHEN WILL OUR REAL TALENTS BE APPRECIATED???

I am ofcourse happy that many of the Indians are making good life because of all this..whatever it may be they are getting settled well, having good happy rich lives...BUT please dont call that intelligence.....please not the real educated community atleast....please dont get dragged away....My heart wept silently when a very passionate automation engineering graduate, who worked for the world renowed TATA motors applied for H1B with a fake 6 yrs SAP work experience...only to go to the USA and have huge bank balance (his wife thought that his salary is low).......a university gold medalist biotechnology graduate shifted to software as her USA husband wants more money.....one of my cousins a management passionate double degree (BTech(Electronics & communications) MBA (finance)) graduate.....Indian hot cake....applied for H1B with fake work experience as the salary in India was not enough....many more stories of this kind and A´s comment today during lunch provoked me to write this post...

P.S: This is not written to offend the feelings of any one personally...I am sorry if I did....its just my heart´s agony as why is the real intelligence of India disregarded or unnoticed...and a small attempt to prevent atleast few from getting flooded in the flow.

Dear A you are a very intelligent and talented agriculture scientist...dont underrate yourself...your knowledge is much more worth than just money...

"Ye pal hai wahi, jis mein hai chhupi
Koyi ek sadi, saari zindagi
Tu na poochh raaste mein kaahe
Aaye hain is tarha do raahein
Tu hi toh hai raah jo sujhaaye
Tu hi toh hai ab jo ye bataaye
Chaahe toh kis disha mein jaaye wahi des
Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta"

Cut off!!! (voip connections suck)

2008-03-25T01:50:00.007+01:00

Past four days had been Easter holidays and I was literally cut off from the external world....I did not update my blog....I did not check my regular sites.....I did not read any news.....I dint even check my mails properly as I normally do....god only knows the reason...may be sometimes you just feel like getting away from the routine and do something different....
But important mention here is that I was also cut off from phone calls to and fro to India and this is not something I wanted...It was so frustrating and I was irritated so much with the net based VoiP calling service that I am writing this post to warn all the people who are using this service.

I shifted to VOIP calling from the calling cards mode about two year ago (after all my friends certified that its a very cheap and the best service, kathi chaku pandaga cheyyochu lanti padaalu kooda vaadarulee).....all the voip services are provided by a company called Betamaxx.....the shifting occured as it was quite cheap to call to India (with a initial deposit of 10 € , 5cent per min was very cheap in those days) and also very convenient for our family to call us directly from the computer when ever they feel like (actually its a free call to germany if you have a installed application with a broadband connection). This service started with a single application (voipbuster) which was quite good and within a couple of months a new one was started (voipcheap) with cheaper tariff......so I opened an account even there buying credit.....this did not end and new applications were launched periodically with very different offers and different kind of cheaper rates.....Now as I wanted to use the service to its best...I opened an account in every new cheaper application with 10€ credit, instead of refilling the empty credit of the previous one.....
This way I created atleast 6 or 7 accounts in different applications from the same company. I used up the credit and the free days in most of them and in the past few months I had three very active applications.(voipcheap, justvoip, nonoh). Initially there was a problem with the username....i was short of names (different applications doesnt accept the same username even though they belong to the same company)...And slowly a new condition was put forward that one cant use the same payment mode for different applications (though all the money however paid goes into the same account...vaadi badhentoo ardham kaadu asalu)...what does he expect??....if we get an account, we have to stick to it and keep on putting our money into it even though we see an another cheaper one...How nonsensical is that??? (then why should they release so many applications??? I dont understand their strategy at all....cheap ani release cheyyatam enduku...kaani account kudaradu anatam enduku....anni mail accounts, usernames, payment methods evariki untaayi)

But having atleast three options......I finally ended up with three accounts in three different applications with three different kinds of payment (Bank transfer, Paypal, Credit card)...(manaki kakkurthi kadaa cheap calling system edante akkada vaalipotamee...bellam meeda eegallaga :D)
Did´nt predict the "In front crocodile festival"......Life was happy with early morning wakeup calls, daily evening blabbers with amma and nanna and anytime call to India......until last friday when suddenly all the three accounts froze and stopped connecting...they are dead there was no movement even after long trials...three accounts of mine and three of tamms all are gone with the credits added into them....we were shocked and dint know what to do......later one of our friends J informed that he experienced the same with his accounts and he did not get any asisstance or remittance from the customer service.

I couldnt even open a new account as I used up all the possible payment methods (I wonder...isn´t this a loss to the provider..if he restricts to one payment mode for one application???? naa lanti privileged customer ni pogottukuntunnadu)....anyhow even if he allows and I create a new one there is no guarantee that it wont be closed......hmmm i couldnt even get back to calling cards as its been really really long since I used them....soo spent the whole holiday with no elaborate calls from and to India...:(....

VOIP users beware...accounts can be closed any minute without any notice....

Apart from that weekend was quite nice....
A and J from Nurnberg came visiting us for the holidays and donno how time rolled off with lots of fun and loads of food......its true I did nothing in the holidays except relaxing and enjoying the leisure to its best....(yaa managed to do some thesis writing though...on saturday when the guys had their day out).
To my great pleasure I received very nice message in the fortune cookies we had yesterday in the chinese restaurant after lunch....I opened two of them and they say
"YOU ARE ON YOUR TRACK TO STARTING SOMETHING NEW"
"GRASP OPPURTUNITIES TO CREATE FUTURE"
hehehe...Actually all of us got nice messages.....(otherwise the restaurant will not get the bills paid..was A´s comment :))...MAY BE!!....but they made me really happy and boosted some energy into me to stay focussed....

With that I wish everyone a very nice week ahead!!!!!!!!

Kalyanam, kamaneeyam....jeevitham!!!!!!!

2008-03-24T21:58:00.010+01:00

Bharath Matrimony.com(marriages are forever)!!!....this is not a kind of marketing or advertisement to this site...but just have been hearing about this a lot these days and couldnt resist from sharing my amusement here. The official website says that it is already 10 years old :O:O:O....I suppose all of you know about this very well...I dont....or may be I dint see any live examples of people using this....uhhhh where am I???? Am I still living in this world??? How come I never researched in to this..wierd :( Hmmmm!!!!!...its not completely true..actually I heard that such a site exists..from the adds in the TV and newspapers ofcourse but I obviously turned a deaf ear for all that(adds choosthe migatha channels updating elaguuu :):):)...I have very good selective hearing capacity....TV punyamaa ani... hehehe :))
I first heard about this last year when a friend of mine in US told that one of his very good friends adviced him to register in this site.....(geethopadesam (big S to small S)...eerojullo edo oka site to register kakunte pelli kaaduroooi)...small S horrified with the warning immediately got a username in the site....and within 15 days (trial period where he doesnt have to pay anything :)....free time lo ne bumper offer kottesaa...are his words) he found a very nice girl...started chatting with her and later talking...in about a month...after both of them decided that they can proceed further, informed the same to their respective parents....and both the parents made an appointment, met each other..talked...and pipi piiii dumm dumm dum...engagement and marriage took place in no time...and now they are in US newly married happy couple...I was surprised and very amused when he narrated all this to me....couldnt believe that such things are happening...
After few months heard almost similar story from one of my old friends about her cousin....my friend was very excited to tell me the story that her cousin found her soulmate through this site and now she is very happily married and settled :D:D:D...I was amazed...
And yesterday I recieved offline messages from K (one of my father´s friends daughter...currently working in the USA) that she is gonna get married in april and was asking if I will be there in India at that time (naakanta bhagyamaaa...enni pellillu miss ayyanoo ilaaga :()....already knowing that uncle is looking for a good alliance for her I casually asked her later how her father found the guy....to my great astonishment she said......
K: I found him in Bharath matrimony akka....
me: Whhaatttt????
K: ya I updated my profile in the site and send it to amma and nanna (this is quite shocking to me specially knowing her parents very well)
me: aaaaa
K: I was browsing through and found this boy´s profile very interesting....I immediately sent it to nanna and he marked interested in the boy´s profile...
me: ooooook :O:O:O
K: the boy called me up as he is also in US....we talked for few days and later we fixed a date to meet up...
me: avvunnaaa :) tarvataa....
K: he came up to my place....and we talked everything openly and wanted to decide for ourselves before taking this to the parents....
me: oook
K: we did this couple of times and later I said my consent and he also to his parents....amma and nanna talked with his parents....went to meet them at their place and soo here we are planning and packing baggage to go to India..
me: GREAT!!!!

Well this post may sound very silly and stupid to most of you...but believe me I am really surprised , amused, astonished with all this.....may be its been too long I stayed away from home and unable to realize the fact that India is developing at a very fast pace.....Its wonderful to hear all these stories from very familiar and dear people......they all had the same tone of happiness and satisfaction of both choosing their partners all by themselves and also to the contentment of their parents....isn´t this amazing...both parents and the young eligible guys and girls utilizing the technology for a very happy reason where at the end of the day all are satisfied :D:D:D Hmmm in a way this is what technology is meant to be.....for the comfort and happiness of humankind...isn´t it ;)......hmmm!!! (technology tho ppaatu parigettatam ante ide :))

P.S: I supose I can recieve a good sum as remuneration if I post this in the BM site...hehhehehe....or may be they will just tear it down and put it into trash saying naaahhh old stuff....hammo vaddulle.....

After the sad demise of soggadu Sobhan babu gaaru....I remembered this very beautiful song picturised on him in the movie Rajkumar...(this is one of my all time favourites)...past two days I have been playing this continuously....and now it is also here...

"Janaki kalaganaledu raamuni sati kagalanani eenaadu
Raamudu anukoledu janaki pati kagalanani aanadu
aanadu evaru anukonidi
eenadu manaku nijamayinadi
aa raamayanam mana jeevana paarayanam"

Yeh Din Kyaa Aayee....

2008-03-19T10:26:00.011+01:00

"You had a great day yesterday, and you'll have a great day again, today! You are in the midst of a wonderfully happy phase, when even the grouchiest of people will cause you to giggle and smile. There's just no telling where all of this good energy has come from, but why question it? Embrace the good vibes. Have fun with them -- and have fun with that certain new someone in your life who is always so very good at making your already bright smile even brighter."

Thats my horoscope for today....call me crazy but the first thing I do every morning after coming to work is check my horoscope in yahoo :)....not that I believe in it....but many a times I found it so perfectly reflecting my mood and matching my condition (as the above one for today) that I began reading it everyday.... started feeling happy and related (as if someone is sitting over there observing me, reading my mind and stating my exact thoughts....what they are and how I like them to be)......it slowly turned into a habit and now it almost became a daily morning ritual :)...

As the above words say everything....the week so far has been fruitful satisfying and happy in its own way. I started working on my thesis again and in a much convinced way....I am finally working with LaTeX full-fledged (made it work even on my macbook:)) yesterday night was the happiest moment when I completed making a LaTeX document of one full section without any errors....it kind of feels good learning the commands....writing the codes...compiling them....checking the errors....debugging....and finally the output...there is nothing like it....its so beautiful (I now understand the contentment of software engineers when their codes finally workout)...initially i thought writing in Latex will waste my time as I have to learn all commands and there is no compulsion of it...i can write in MS-word too.....but I wanted to try it out....when I saw the first output....it completely flattered me to continue and now I am proud that I could make it...:):):)

Yesterday night we had a nice special feast with friends and the Kheema matar i made was praised by everyone (which is quite unusual).....R (the student) managed to work on his own this week...he finished his first round of whole experiment all alone and he managed it really well....though he calls me in my office every 15min....and I have to make some runs and rounds into the lab by his calls.....I am happy that he is doing the work well and the rounds are soothing to my eyes as they can see something other than bright computer screen....and above all the runs are ungluing me from my chair and I may become thin (lot of exercise....aaahhaa...thought it self is making me giggle :D).....

So right now embracing the good vibes as my horoscope says....except the certain new someone in my life...mentioned in the last line (nothing like that happened yet).....and having fun with the rain, clouds, snow, hail storms, thunder storms, cold breeze, clear sky, sunshine, heat, wind....yaa thats true all kinds of weather on the same day....(thats how Bremen is..)....:D:D:D adios....Wish Life is Beautiful for everyone....:)

The smiley sticker on my office computer says: Smiling....Thanks to you!!!

"Yeh din kyaa aaye...lage phool hasne...
dekho basanti basanti..hone lage mere sapne..

Sone jaisi ho rahi hain har subah meri...
Lage har saanjh ab gulaal se bhari...
Chalne lagi mehki huyi pawan jhoom ke....
aachal tera jhoom ke
Yeh din kya aaye lage phool hasne"

Procrastination at its BEST

2008-03-17T10:14:00.004+01:00

Past two days I was doing everything except thesis writing...it was as if I completely forgot about it.....friday night tired by the day slept early thinking of waking up soon and writing (I slept very hard that night...was awake with closed eyes for long time....there was a fight within....one of me urging to get up and write as I was awake...and the other forcing me to sleep and get rest) ...saturday morning ofcourse I wokeup early but didn´t have any mood for writing....to warm up checked all the mails and all the blogs for updates....its almost noon by then....postponed the idea of writing for after lunch...had lunch...feeling very drowsy my mind wasnt ready for any kind of thinking.....started reading the new books I got from India talloofying the writing to the evening....its almost evening and remembered the weekly grocery shopping....so went shopping moving the writing to night slot......met couple of friends in the market and was there till night...came back, had dinner and then had a great idea of taking pictures and writing a post in my blog before thesis writing....after the post is ready I went through it a hundred times....being very much inclined for story reading....I hit the sack with the book deciding to write afresh early sunday morning and not waste any time....
Sunday morning´s alarm at 6.00am went snoozing for some hundred times and I wokeup only with the arrival of the big luggage from India....spent the next hours arranging the things...had a great heavy lunch resulting in a very sound afternoon nap.....lazily wokeup in the evening and obviously I didnt even think or have a chance of postponing as all the senses and powers inside me went numb, hated, abused, embarrassed, ashamed and the peak of procrastination was reached when I wanted to find solace in watching a movie before sleep to get refreshed for a new week ahead. :(:(:( IAM SICK!!!!
The tension is growing on me right now, my senses are feeling restless, my nerves are shaking vigorously at the idea of the spent weekend, the blood pressure is raising rapidly at the thought of Prof´s question "HOW FAR HAVE YOU COME?", blood vessels in the brain are at the verge of exploding thinking about the two main chapters I still have to complete.
HOW DID I DO THIS??? HOW COULD I DO THIS??? WHY EVERYTHING ELSE ATTRACTS ME EXCEPT WRITING????
Please help me with ideas to get over this :(:(:(

P.S: I went through my previous weekend posts and they are not any different...all of them are filled with lazyness and procrastination...I am starting to hate weekends...I dont want any of them anymore :X:X:X:X

Anmol Ratan

2008-03-15T22:03:00.013+01:00

Yaaa tamms came back from India y´day and along with him also were coming lots n lots of pickles, sweets, snacks....what not...above all amma´s very own chepala pulusu (amma took all the pain in preparing it and also got it packed well that it wont get spoiled during the journey)....:D:D:D.....I had been very eagerly waiting for all that and more enthusiastically for the surprises that nanna said he was sending for me....

Unfortunately tamms main luggage did not reach Germany in his flight...it got stuck in Dubai and the baggage claim informed that it would be sent to us either today or tomorrow early in the morning...I seriously hope that the curry is fine and eatable coz its sent with so much of love and i wont be able to throw it with my hands.:(
But my surprises were in the cabin luggage and so I got them immediately. Guess what they are??? They are never ending pleasures and long living treasures....yaaa I have got these three great books...those that I wanted to read since long time....
Sri sri´s Mahaprastanam though I read it when I was in school...dint understand much of it...so have to see how much I can do right now.
Being a great fan of all Bapu and Ramana creations...I asked for Radhagopalam short story and nanna being the greatestesteesssttt fan of the duo sent me the whole Saahiti Sarvasvam II :):)(Radhagopalam is a small chapter in that volume).
And Vamsi´s Maa pasalapudi Kathalu is something which I dint hear about before (have a hazy memory of reading his stories in Swathi vaarapatrika)....a glance at the cover was irresistible enough to turn the pages immediately and in a while I landed in a place with lush green moist rice fields, chirping birds, divine sweet n flooding godavari waters, innocent beauty of village life, pure untouched nature and lively lives of andhra country side....all this and much more with Bapu´s illustrations...it was hard to close it :):)(Will come up with more details once I finish reading).

Apart from all this the most important and the most valuable priceless and precious ANMOL RATAN I recieved with this treasure are these signatures from nanna....totally totally spellbound and moved, touched and mesmerized....THANKS is a small word to describe my happiness...I wouldnt say that...LOVE YOU LOADS!!!!!!(Nanna+Amma+Nanamma)

P.S: Click on the images for larger view

Welcome to the world of PhDs

2008-03-12T10:06:00.009+01:00

Keerthi´s comment (a simple alternative to my complex war against cold) in my previous post reminded me a funny story that happened sometime ago in august 2005.
Those are the early days of my PhD. I share the office (so called luxurious PhD students room...as we can drink coffee and eat chocolates sitting in our place...away from the lab:D:D:D) with three more..you guessed it right...PhD students :):). Anyways on one fine day I had an appointment to see a flat at around 4´o clock in the afternoon. I got late by 10 min stuck in the lab...hurriedly packed and rushed to the tram stop..got into the first one....searched for my handy to call P who will be waiting for me to accompany me to the flat. Searched my jacket also... AYYILAA :O:O:O I left it on the office table. Hmmm...I got down at the stop, P just shot at me "Where is your handy????? I gave some million rings to it" eee eerrr I forgot in the office....hesitant hehehehehe....

Next day I reached office early, looked for my handy immediately...oh no!!! its not there on the table....I looked around the room...its not there :(:(:(..after a while when Iam searching the cupboards S came in followed by R (very techie very talented intelligent colleagues of mine)

me: guys did you see my handy...I left it here y´day
S and R together: Hmm yaa (ya we know kind of frowny head nod)...did you look under your table????
me: Whattt....under the table??? Hmm noo!!!! I looked down and saw a big thermacoal box
N came in meanwhile...three of them looking at me and said...take it out...its there...inside..me puzzled, hesitant surprised what not put the box on the table and opened it.....and

Its full of small thermacoal packing pieces....removed some from the top..nothing seen.....emptied almost half of the box......found a couple of air filled plastic bags...removed them.....there is a folded kitchen cloth napkin....unfolded it...there are a dozen of layered green paper tissues....removed them....there is a small card board box....opened it....there is a bubble wrap.....moved it aside and finally therrreeee it is MY HANDY all packed with a tape in a plastic cover....sitting there burried in the bed of thermacoal chips......

Guess why???? previous day my handy was ringing loud...(P´s call, its not set to silent)...S and N in the room heard it for 5 min.....its still ringing...couldnt bear the sound....S put it in my desk drawer...its still ringing...still loud....heard it for 5 more mins and it was unbearable...they wanted to avoid that sound....N went into the lab..consulted R on the issue...and there they go studying the mechanics of sound proofing....N brought the box with chips....R brought the rest of the layers....S packed it and kept it in....the box was left under the table to eradicate the faint sound still heard if it is on the table...(my then existing saneness wondered..why dint they switch it off or answered it once????)...missed taking a picture of that :):):)...

WELCOME TO OUR CRAZY WORLD OF PhD!!!!!!

Arre Diwanoo, Humein Pehchanoo
Kaha Se aaye, hum hain kaun
Hum hai kaun, hum hai kaaaaun????
PHD PHD PHD PHD
Hum Hain Hum Hain Hum Hain Pagal Hai Diwanoo
(Psychologically Heavily Distressed)

kitchch kitchch

2008-03-11T13:15:00.015+01:00

Saturday night around 10´o clock...sitting in my closed airtight den ....Haatchchiii Haatchchiii!!!!....mmmm haaa Haaaaaaaaattchchii!!!!.....whats happening?? it doesn´t feel like a normal closed room sneeze....anyways (kebaab mein haddi samazhke) continued crooning with some more hurdles at different wavelengths and velocities (donno the unit for a sneeze :D) at intervals of 5mins until after an hour when I realized my jarred voice turning more unbearable. I calmed down for a minute to feel the difference and there it is....my throat is a bit itchi, rugged and scratchy.....a sudden flash and an alarm in my brain...I sensed the enemies .....the viruses....they seem to be on an attack.....should I start a war.....hmmm may be its just my presumption.....warriors dont fight at night......I decided to wait till the dawn speculating the probable reasons (if it is the attack of the viruses)....the brief walk in cold breeze to the market??? just some random exposure to aerosols flying around in the corridors??? some dust culprits from the bin providing hostage to the viruses and help them build secret army to attack????

The cruel ruthless decieving viruses have no war ethics..(papam ani vadilesthe rathri time lo donga debba teesaayi :X)...by dawn they are spread all around....they occupied the nose and throat territories and blocked them.....the frequency of the sneezes increased...me being a nonviolent soul....just neglected it after consulting the able minister Wikipedia who said...

"there is no historical proof that any known medical composition could directly defeat these viruses...they are self destructive and will completely subside in a week.....so is the famous saying written about them "Common cold resolves in 7 days without medicine and in one week with medicine"....they turn violent in the 2nd 3rd and 4th days...multiply in huge numbers causing blockages in the breath, temperature rise, headache, fatigue, cough and loss of apetite......only way to bear this is stay in the den...blow out the blockages, drink lot of ginger/peppermint tea and liquids"....hmmm

Following the expert advices I stayed calm till monday morning......the enemies seemed to have multiplied in millions over night...my voice turned baritonal and the nose completely blocked..Being overly confident on my stamina and not ready to pay the expenses of a working day because of these petty nonsensical enemies...I am a warrior....So there I go out of my den equipped with all the relaxants (paper tissues, tea bags, peppermints) to be fit to squeeze my master student prey with a new technique...an additional dose of ginger tea and generous amounts of pepper in the lunch saved me till 4´o clock....then the enemies reraised, started attacking....I couldnt work....I was furious, angry and slowly my patience levels started depriving and when they crossed the limit I decided to go back to the den to deal with them....my patience was treated as inability....come on YOU minute creatures.....You wanna fight....lets do it....I turned merciless and brutal...

Planning a strategy I immediately put on a big flask of water to boil.....added a big spoon of vicks to the steaming water and a pinch of turmeric for the extra disinfection......a bit of eucalyptus oil to work on the head....and there you go lets see who wins......steam was concentrated covered by the blanket.....heavy vapors breathed in to burn away and destroy for about 10min.....proud and satisfied...regained clear nose and throat....energised by the victory I focussed on the probable sites of origin...aerated the den for clean air and vaccumed the carpet for hidden colonies......showed the trash its destiny for providing hostage.....
To show the hidden viruses the real fun of war...prepared a very spicy pepper rasam......hot and fuming....and drank a big glass of it...there you goo.....all the left over enemies were traced and washed away...took an additional dose of peppermint after that......

My vengeant soul still not satisfied wanted to destroy all of them from their roots...leaving no chance of minute rebirth.....prepared another batch of steaming water with an extra large amount of vicks, turmeric....finally coming to the last part of my master strategy rubbed a huge amount of vicks vapourab on the nose and the throat...covered completely with a thick blanket ...I slept off.....Vicks has managed the rest of the task...I sweated and the timid, frightened, horrified enemies fled away for their life in the silent darkness of the night as they entered.....

I wokeup to a fresh new dawn today in my free clean happy kingdom.....no traces of enemies seen in the far distances (they might have fled to the MARS in horror)......pride of victory filling my nerves with new energy......I got ready and left my den (without any precaution accompaniments) HEHEHEHHAHAHHAHAHA

IAM A WARRIOR!!!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!! VIRUSES OUT THERE...TRY YOUR GUTS....FIGHT ME IF YOU ARE FOND OF HALF LIFE UNEXPECTED DEATH!!!!

Hence the saying rewritten "Common cold resolves in 7 days with/without medicine and in just 1 day with Srujana´s master strategy"

Statutory warning: the strategy mentioned above is purely for personal use...not to be tried by sensitive people and specially kids.

panga na lo panga na lo mujhse panga na lo koi
kyun ki abb main yuun badal gaya hoon
nahi main deewaana bana hoon mastaana
ab jamaane ko dikhaana hai ki main hoon cheej kya
kya main kal tak tha o yaaro, aaj kya main ban gaya
mujhse panga, panga panga na lo koi

Joy of life :D:D:D

2008-03-10T13:00:00.007+01:00

All the wealth in this world is not worth these cutest expressions....those sparkling crystal eyes...that innocent smile....those chubby little cheeks, hands and feet...one glance will take you to a state of ultimate happiness and peace.....Gawwd who can turn their heads from this bundle of joy...
the beauty of the entire universe on one side and the cuteness of a baby on the other....the latter is always the heavier :D:D:D

Take a look you will forget this world :):):)...Thanks ARUN for sharing this :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/-gadgetgirl-/sets/72157594526919149/show/with/1061431501/

Yeh To Hain Sardi Mein Dhoop Ki Kirane
Utarein Jo Aangan Ko Sunhera Sa Karne
Mann Ke Aandheron Ko Roshan Sa Kar Dein
Thithurti Hatheli Ki Rangat Badal Dein
Kho na jaaye ye Taare Zameen Par

House Arrested- Self imposed!!!!!!!

2008-03-09T21:22:00.012+01:00

Ya thats what I literally did to myself this weekend. Dont know how I spent the two days just sitting in one room (except for a very brief visit to the nearby market to return something)....gazing at the laptop (which wasnt shut down for almost 60 hours now) either sitting on the chair or lying on the bed....the window curtain is closed....the door is closed....so are all my senses :(:(:( yaa I dont know how the climate was outside in the last two days...if it rained or it was cold or sunny.....absolutely no idea.

Why did I do this?? No idea...it just happened and I realize it only now when I get the thought that the weekend is over :(....it started and it ended like a flash....dint know how the time had passed....hmmm most of the weekends these days are like this...gone are those days when the whole saturday is spent just walking around the city centre or the supermalls window shopping, looking for offers in absolutely everything (carefree, bindaazzz :):).).....and lastly getting home huge grocery bags (maaku okka week ki samanulu kaaani oka average family ki one month easy ga saripotundi aa food....yaa thats what we are..bakasuraaas)....and sundays used to be fun days of waking up late...cook some special meal....and enjoy it with a good movie....absolute rest and all refreshed and energised for the new week to start.

Compared to those days I get less tired now doing nothing....I mean no walking, no shopping, no cooking, no watching movies...in principle I should feel very fresh but NO!!! I am exhausted, stressed, wornout and feeling really crazy seeing these four walls for the last two days...:(:(:(...I am sleeping but my brain still seems to be tired, my nerves are tired, my blood circulation got stagnant...my legs and hands seems to have paralyzed....(ekkuva panukunte ide jarugutundi anukondii :):):)...kaani adi kaadu ikkada karanam)...dont know what is happening...I am not ready for tomorrow...I need rest...real rest....I want to make my brain completely blank and just stay clam...is that possible????

Anyways apart from all that crazyness going on in a part of me...I almost finished writing my results....I have to say wooooooowww what a section to write...its the easiest one so far....and the fastest in filling the pages....there are so many graphs and tables to fill in....aahhaa I filled up about 30 pages on saturday in absolutely no time...hheheeheh.....yaa its as easy as put in your diagram and just explain what you see..thats it....and the explanation in most of the experiments is the same as they are the similar tests conducted with different samples....aint that easy??? :):):)....but the real fun tho abhi shuru honee valaa hai beta.....to start with the introduction and the discussion parts....iam going numb with the mere thought of them...absolutely have no idea how to compile them...hmmm for now will rest and start afresh tomorrow....hope I get some ideas in my wierd dreams :):):) along with my blowing nose...ya I have caught bad cold today...

donno how and why :(...may be the flu viruses are in full josh enjoying their weekend....added to the very exciting ambience of my room for the last two days are now a pile of used paper tissues, peppermint tea bags and tea cup and spoons all around....a look around is making me sick. (its yaaacckkkyyy)...my head is all blocked with both the flu and you know what...so for now I switch off the lights and lay down as a blind cat and will look after this kacharaa tomorrow...:) alvida..khuda haafiz...good night!!!

I was able to feel alive for the last two days with these lively posters in my room (Caption on red rose poster: PASSION - Nothing in the world has ever been accomplished without passion) and the most melodious music from the Maestro. (not mentioning the horriblly loud sing along of my neighbour with some jamba gamba music....I resisted very hard from smashing my head)...Nenu taggutaanaa nenu naa songs head phones pettukuni vinnanuu...hehhehhehe

Here is one of the Maestro´s evergreen songs from Vamsi´s Chettukinda pleader :)

Neeru gari paaripoku
Neerasaana jaaripoku
Leee melukoo
Maarumoola daagipoku
Pirikimandu taagaboku
Lee melukoo
Endukee bhayam andukoo jayam..

PASSION poster courtesy: It was very kindly and generously donated by dear budugu...it was a great trauma for him to part with it.. but he is so kind and chethiki emuka leni type daata :):):) to give it to me and let me put it in my room...anukuntunnaraa.....I fought a spartan war to snatch it from him :):):)

Once upon a time life was beautiful like this :):):) Kaaniii ippuduu :(:(:(:(

2008-03-06T16:28:00.007+01:00

Click on the image for larger view.

Busy bee....

2008-03-06T11:35:00.007+01:00

"Mail rayali rayali ani postpone chesthuu rojuki vanda sarlu gurthu chestukuntaa ninnu (S ki mail raayali raayali ani).....ade okasari rasesthe hammayya pani ayipoindi anukuni inka vadilestha malli reply vachevaraku.....so raayaka pothe choodu you are always in my thoughts dear every day every minute" .......thats the most stupidest reasoning I gave to my best friend some time ago when I got scolded for being lazy and not writing regular mails to her....:D:D:D (the more I postpone writing to you the more I have you in my thoughts ;))

Now I suppose I have to say that to my blog also....specially after making a gala post of unveiling, boasting about writing almost every day......hmm I realize that its not so easy....I could hardly write anything this week...though I think of it every minute....a part of my brain got attached to this blog now and is keeping on pinching me to write :):):)

There is an another big work I am concerned about and for which I cant give this reasoning.....thats my thesis report....thats inexcusable...I dint put even a single word in my report in the last three days....except some LaTeX format play arounds and preparing the references chapter (these doesnt need much brain)......its not lazyness anymore....I dont have time...24 hours is not just enough...I am getting tired, exhausted, shattered, broken by evening everyday that I dont have any energy left for thinking and writing...so I am doing references and other small things after going home...

Supervising a master thesis student is not at all easy and seems like an adventure at this stage (naaku avasramaa idantha???)....specially if he doesnt have any previous experience in the techniques and have to teach him from the scratch...its gonna take hell lot of time....R is a smart student...he is grasping them fast but there is so much to learn that I cant avoid the feeling....it would have been better if he had done these atleast once in his previous work....so we had to do elaborate theory, protocol discussions before actually going into the lab (not metioning all the hell lot of paper work for the administration).....and added to all this the condition in the lab.....is a havoc....(all the powers in the world have united to test my patience)..I stopped working in the lab about a month ago and what I see is all my things are misplaced, used and scattered all over the lab....(though personally unorganized....I am one freak in the lab...I need all my stuff untouched and right at the place on the bench during work...I hate running around the lab in the middle of an experiment looking for even a small parafilm because it is taken by someone and left somewhere in the other rooms :X:X:X:X).....it took few hectic hours to bring back all the stuff to its place.....

So with all this we started off the real experiments yesterday and for now its going on well...he got good results at the end of the day......a great relief to me :):):)

R is.....wierd as he asked me if I and the people in AP. India know Sachin tendulkar (R is from Pune, India)..........
One interesting observation....he is all tensed and his hands are shivering when ever I stand beside him looking over his experiment..he takes the wrong pipettes...spills the alcohol, drops down the lids...tears his gloves...smashes the cooler door...ooofff....."R" cool it!!!!....am I so scary??? or am I sounding very strict and stubborn (eeee rrrrr like a german nazi :):):)).....hehehe no noo actually he is very much tensed as this is the first time he is doing these experiments and he is a kind of very enthusiastic and very aggressive students who like to jump in very fast and get the best of the results right from the first experiment (bachche!!! welcome to real science....hares dont win the race)
From my side sincerely and seriously Iam trying really really hard not to show all this frustration on him and teach him what all I can and be a good supervisor (not the hitler type ;))......hope I am... :D

Got a good incubation time of 3hours now...so taking time for refreshing (pouring down my blabber here relieves me a lot :):)...let me know how boring it is to read) and get back to my report writing mood.

For now gotto go...adios.....pray to god for more energy..more time :)))

Cant leave without singing in

"Katra katra milti hai
katra katra jeene doo
zindagi hai, bahane doo
pyaasi hu main pyaasi rehne doo......"

Image

Manic monday :O:O:O:O

2008-03-03T23:24:00.004+01:00

Baboooooi its monday again....an another week starts....
I had good rest y´day even with the thesis writing which dint go very far...but it was good I was relaxed, was able to think calmly and write down...actually went through the whole document I completed so far which was good to do as I could fill up some obvious gaps....feeling happy with my progress I thought I deserved to treat myself with a movie....soo watched an old movie until 2ó clock in the night (even though my brain was continuously reminding me that tomm is a monday and I have to go for work....I dint give an ear to that)...so the outcome

Wokeup late in the morning and got ready and rushed to the uni......I wonder why sometimes I rush to work so tensed as if someone is there monitoring my timings??....though there is no hard and fast rule in the department to start and end a day´s work...we are completely free to work at our convenience but I feel this rush and tension to reach the department early...dont know why??? and it happens mostly on mondays....

Hmmmmm anyways reached uni and after checking all the daily updates on the net ( I did all that before sleeping y´day night..even then...may be the whole world might have changed in 8 hours...edoo aasaa inthaloki kottha mails kottha comments kottha news lu vachi untaayi ani :)).....and regular chatting with the colleagues about their weekends.....I got back to my thesis...one of the section is done and I already mailed it to prof....have to start an another one...went through the short report and was thinking seriously how to proceed....there was a door knock and someone came in...I turn around and see..thats prof looking for F who sits on the other corner of my room.....I replied he is in the lab...prof left and in a flash came back this time asking mee....how are you?? how is it going?? is everything alright?? I felt really good for that concern and with a hesitant smile nodded my head..hmmm yaa it is going ok..hmm not so well....its getting very difficult....I am writing but really not sure how it is coming....getting lot of doubts....prof smiled and said I understand but you keep writing..I got your mail didnt go through it yet but dont wait for my reply keep writing....he left...I felt really releaved and nice....that small conversation really makes lot of difference...i got motivated and continued with my report...

After sometime the master student who talked about thesis with me 10 days ago came by and said that he is interested in working with me. I asked him to inform that first to prof and he will decide how to proceed. ..during lunch prof came over asking me about the thesis student if I am willing to supervise him....I told frankly that I am hesitant as I wont be here for 6 months until the student finishes...prof said that its not a problem and I just start with him and prof will take over after I leave...I accepted and he asked me if i can give some literature to the guy to start with and he will start in the lab from tomorrow....hmmm i finished my lunch and went to prof´s room to discuss the work to be assigned to the student...prof in turn asked me to prepare a plan and send it to him...

Hmm spent the next few hours preparing the plan for the student.....replying some comments on my blog.....chatting with a friend who came by (uppara meeting as nanna said :))....mailed the plan to prof....checked all the consumables in the lab so that the student can start right away...with all that its already 9.00 pm.... rushed back home to reach the market for some grocery before it closes...:)

Hmmmmm not very manic day...it went on well except that I dint make much progress in the report...hmmm :(:(:(...thats bad though
But tomorrow is definetely going to be manic tuesday as I have to spend the whole day with the student introducing the work to him and also talk to the statistician about my analysis....oh gaawd I hate statistics...

For now I shut down and drop on my bed as I have to start very early tomorrow....GN.

Heard songs from a new movie Gamyam today found these lyrics by sirivennela very goooooood

ప్రపంచం నీలో ఉన్నదని చెప్పే దాక ఆ నిజం తెలుసుకోవా?
తెలిస్తే ప్రతి చోట నిను నువ్వే కలుసుకొని పలకరించుకోవా?

మనసులో నీవైన భావాలే బయట కనిపిస్తాయి దృశ్యాలై
నీడలు నిజాల సాక్ష్యాలే శత్రువులు నీలోని లోపాలే స్నేహితులు నీకున్న ఇష్టాలే
ఋతువులు నీ భావ చిత్రాలే
ఎదురైన మందహాసం నీలోని చెలిమి కోసం
మోసం రోషం ద్వేషం నీ మతిలి మదికి భాష్యం
పుటకా చావు రెండే రెండూ నీకవి సొంతం కావు,
పోనీ జీవిత కాలం నీదే నేస్తం, రంగులు ఏం వేస్తావో కానియ్యి

P.S. APK will translate that for you tomm :)
Image: Source

Unveiling :D:D:D:D:D

2008-03-02T03:30:00.013+01:00

WELCOME!!!!WELCOME!!!!! WELCOME!!!!! Welcome ALL to my small world, unveiled. :D:D:D
I started this blog about a month ago to record my funny, routine stories...in general day to day experiences, popping up flashbacks, memoirs, random thoughts about some special incidents at workplace or at home or just any blah blah I want to write down....I was very hesitant to share this with any of my family members or friends as

* Being an unstoppable chatterbox I might have told these things some hundred times to all of you, some hundred people before typing down here :):):))..who will dare to read this again to know the same story.
* Being very lazy I wasn´t sure if I can really post regularly...(as I stopped my previous blog unnoticed and unattended within few days of starting it).....I set myself a probation period of one month to bring this in to light, share it with everyone....AND guess what, you are reading this today because

TADAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
I PASSED MY PROBATION WITH FLYING COLORS AND HERE IAM UNVEILING "MIRROR OF HEART", CURTAIN RAISING MY BLOG AND HEARTILY WELCOMING YOU ALL TO HAVE A LOOK!!! :D:D:D WELCOME :D:D:D

So guys and gals who are not interested in this blabber and have no mood to proceed, let me say Adios, Thank you very much for dropping by :)

And all others who are ready to check on this...GET SOME COFFEE!!!....yeah its gonna take a while :):):)......I wish you a nice stay and hope you all will enjoy reading...if you did or not I will be very glad to know...so dont forget to leave a comment or message....

P.S: Special thanks to tamms for being the first to read this (red handed ga pattukuni, telusuki, dongatanam a chadivavugaa :P)....

thanks aalapana for being the first to comment, for liking my writing and promising to visit regularly...

Budugu-Nanna :) you have no second choice than to read it from the beginning, each post, each word and each letter...memorize well....you will have a test on the details later.....:D:D:D....every answer should be compulsorily accompanied by a tag of pride, praise, and appreciation.

APK....first of all its no comparison to your colorful website (I am jealous, I dont have photography talent)...and second of all here is an another way to torture you...so better be regular and leave nice comments.....FOR every nice comment given there will be an equal and good comment given back.....:):):)

Last but not the least everyone coming here is very very important to me and please feel free to drop by when ever time permits....your visits wil be greatly acknowledged :D:D:D

Havaayen Ghataayen Fizaayen
Baagon Ne Phuulon Ne Juulon Ne Lii Jhuum Ke angadaayii
Aap Aaye Bahaaraayii Hohohoo Ho…
Saare Zamaane Pe, Mausam Suhaane Pe, is Dil Diivaane Pe
Viiraanii Sii Thii Chhaayii
aap Aaye Bahaaraayii Hohohoo Ho……

Images: Here, Here and Here

This is what happened.......

2008-03-02T03:15:00.016+01:00

Being completely motivated to write down my report, determined to finish a section by hook or by crook and send an email to prof with the draft...10:30 pm completely exhausted by a whole day of writing, beastly hungry by the smells of the colleagues dinner...I got out of the department indifferently worried to lose track of the ideas flowchart to write down.......Wish I had a mind recorder pppttcchhh....
That is what happened y´day, ended it with this beautiful song..thanks VJ for sharing....:)..more details here.

Wokeup early to a beautiful day....pulled back the window curtains after long time to a blissful view.....rain drops were touching the window.....joining one by one (reminded Bapu´s hilarious cartoon about the first rain drop :D:D:D...cartoon added in the bottom), forming a line....sliding to the bottom.....leafless trees were dancing violently.....I opened the window and BBBBBHHUUUUU...HHHHHHOOOOEEEEEIIIIIIIIII...BHOOOOO.....DHHHAAADD......BHHHHOOOO...yaa ...yaa its a thunderstorm....I closed the window to get back to my never ending thesis writing , hot tea, with entrancing songs from Gurudutt´s collection running in the background.. :)
Here is Bapu´s cartoon I mentioned above....first varsham chukka nene first ani genthutundane konte aalochana evariki ravalii....except Bapu....this is the most hilarious cartoon on rain I have ever seen :D:D:D:

With that note I switch back into my own world.........

Vaqt Ne Kiyaa Kyaa Ha.Nsii.N Sitam
Tum Rahe Na Tum Ham Rahe Na Ham
Vaqt Ne Kiyaa...

Jaae.Nge Kahaa.N Puuchhataa Nahii.N
Chal Pa.De Magar Raastaa Nahii.N
Kyaa Talaash Hai Kuchh Pataa Nahii.N
Bun Rahe Hai.N Dil Kvaab Dam\-Ba\-Dam
Vaqt Ne Kiyaa...

abbabababbbaaa What a beautiful song...hhhmmhhh!!!!!

Cobbled together⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷⌷

2008-02-28T19:55:00.008+01:00

Today is filled with a wide variety of thoughts, highly mixed feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, agitation, fear, embarassment, contentment, .......

1. Was happy to see tamms all packed and excited to go home.
2. Was sad to see him leaving...gonna miss him for next few days.
3. Was angry on myself for being unorganised (I forgot to write an important reply to colleague in Italy...she should have waited for that y´day, I misplaced an address sheet from a person who asked for help in finding the address).
4. Was frustrated for not making any progress in writing in the last two days. (couldnt reach the selfset deadline).
5. Agitated by all the above feelings flashing together at the same time in the mind.
6. Feared of wasting one more day (was able to overcome this by afternoon....writing few pages of the thesis).
7. Got embarrassed to face a conversation about some bitter truths of life (but was able to gather my senses with the help of the converser and get back to saneness)
8. Contentment right now (at the end of the day) to have had a "not so bad day" regarding work and determined to climb the ladder without any more pauses. :):):)

Along with all this also came these beautiful words of Gulzar saab from Gharonda in my mind

"Eh Akela Is shahar mein, raat mein aur dopahar mein
Aaa bodaana dhoondhataa hai, aashiyaana dhoondhataa hai
Is umr se lambii sadakon o, manzil pe pahoonchate dekhaa nahii
Bas daudhatii phiraatii rahatii hai, ham ne to taharthe dekhaa nahii
Is ajnabee se shehar mein, jaanaa pahachaana dhoondhataa hai
Ek akela is shehar mein.....

Flying Home!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-27T11:30:00.008+01:00

Not me....tamms....though I wish me too (Boohooohooo boohooo waaaahhhhhh :((((() but no luck for now :(....he made a sudden plan....one of his very best friends from school is getting married on 2nd of march(first marriage in their group)....though he had a strong wish to go to India on seeing the wedding card.....he was hesitant about the logistics of the trip....two days back nanna informed him that his friends has come home with the invitation card and they all missed him a lot....thats it....with that unstoppable stimulus ("what the heck...how can I not go to suris wedding" was his dialogue....edayithe emayindi velli ravalsindee...Huuhhh!!)...he started browsing and enquiring for tickets and got one for tomorrow by emirates(for 10 days)...almost the last one :D:D:D....

Apart from all the homemade and roadside eating he is gonna enjoy (Iam already on the verge of crying with this thought).....there are a big bunch of things he can do now in India for which I am jealous :(:(:(

# Attend his best friends marriage (Imagine all the fun one has in best friends wedding)
# Will meet all his friends from the gang (as almost all of them are in india right now)
# Will see our beautiful new house (almost complete and ready for gruhapravesam)
# Will cuddle and play with our new family addition...the next generation of the cheeli gang (vadina´s daughter, six months old bundle of cuteness...Muah:*:*)
# He will watch "JODHA AKBAR" on the big screen in desi theatre with desi crowds (Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(((((((.....I have to wait till April for its release here as I dont want to watch this movie on my 13" laptop screen)...he will watch lot more movies too....

Actually I am also happy for some reasons...amma, nanna, nanamma insisted me a lot to come along, buy a ticket together...but its quite impossible for me to take a break now (even for 10days)...though I so much want to......so I forcibly resisted the urge....coz once I get tempted it will be hard to cope up......don´t I deserve to get paid well for all this...yes I DOOOO

Bagging all the sympathy of love for staying back because of work....taantaaadaaai....I am sending a big list to India.....gonna get a full suitcase of goods....all new pickles (hmmmm!!!).....lots and lots of sweets and snacks (aaahhh!!!).....new music collections from nanna (oohhh!!!)....amma´s recent hit chepala pulusu (yummy!!!)...and a whole lot of goodies I wanted from India :D:D:D
Moreover I am releaved that I can send a whole lot of my collections from here to be dumped back home...(was worried how to manage the transfer of them while going back permanently in few months...cant bear to throw them here because of the luggage problem in flights and cargo is too expensive)

With all this excitement and a big lot of shopping for gifts to be done today....I put my thesis writing on a break (atakekkinchesaanu....)....though my conscious is continuously poking me....are you a case of procrastination (is a type of behavior which is characterised by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time)...always ready to postpone...:)
whatever for now I am excited going for shopping, packing etc etc with ofcourse an inevitable feeling "I am gonna miss tamms for the next 10 days"

Naa janma bhoomi entha andamayina desamuu
Naa illu andulona kammani pradesamuu
Naa saamiranga hooiihoooi naa saamirangaa :D:D:D

Photo courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/steelelogic/189706318/

Pensive thoughts!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-26T13:06:00.008+01:00

Dr. A my cousin (pedananna´s son) got married last saturday :)......If you ask me whats so special about it....well....he married an irish girl...:D:D:D...."intercontinental marriage"....they met each other in their workplace...she happens to be his colleague in the hospital in scotland.....they survived all the resistances and coldwars posed by the family back home in India...finally persuaded them, obliged them and with their acceptance got married in traditional hindu style on saturday....I felt very very happy for him when I heard about it last week...I dont believe in any kind of geographical, religious or castewise boundaries for marriage.....any two people who are deeply in love and who are genuinely ready to abide to the vows and take the responsibilities of married life can enter into wedlock.....actually my topic of writing this post is not this.....let me come to the point without any more diversions....

Chelli sent A´s marriage photos today....the girl is looking very beautiful all dressed up like a traditional andhra bride.....I am happy seeing the new couple and all the family members....BUT suddenly I felt a wave of sadness, disappointment, delusion........he is going far away for good...he wont come back...:(
Its been almost 6 years I had seen A....he has changed a lot.....he is just 10 days older to me......i have a lot of childhood memories and dreams together with him....they used to live in Chirala (a town on the coast of Bay of bengal) and we live in guntur.....our regular meeting during schooling used to be once every year....every summer holidays at our grand parents home in one of the most beautiful places on earth for me (Boppudi, a remote village and a favourite place to both of us).....apart from all the wandering, pampering, playing, tanning which we got together.....we used to compete in two very important things...1) who learns more number of bad words (boothulu, village lingo)..... 2) who scored high in the annual exam the previous year....our common ambition, dream that time was to study well and become doctors and build a hospital in our village....seriously the only thing thats missing in our village and a few others around is a good hospital.....the fastest you can reach a hospital in the nearest town is in 45 min......we have seen many emergency cases helplessly breathing their last on the way (one of our grand fathers included :()....that being a very great impact on our tiny brains at that time.....A won the competition and got in to medicine (the first doctor in our family and the second in our village) and I gave up my trials after a deeply depressive state and stuck to the regular study of bachelors masters and as you all know here I am to get my doctorate degree....(pattuvadalani vikramarkini ante nene....elagayina peru mundara Dr undalsinde ani...:)).....while I was coming to germany for my masters A was going to UK almost the same time in search of job, experience (most of the medicine graduates in India do this these days) and mainly to become proficient in neurology (his favourite subject) .....the day we were saying good bye to eachother....we talked about not forgetting our roots, coming back to India, working for the homeland...A still had the zeal to fulfill our dream by opening a hospital in our village after coming back.....days weeks years passed we stopped writing to eachother long back...once in a while I get to hear the news about him when some relatives visit my place....
News1: he is working as a gynaecologist
News2: he refused marriage proposals from the daughters of rich businessmen and political leaders in our place...who inturn promised the construction of a hospital where ever he wanted
News3: he moved to scotland from UK
News4: he doesnt want to marry at all (his younger brother got married earlier when this is heard)
News5: his job became permanent in scotland
News6: he is marrying his colleague....an irish girl

Life changes a lot.....seeing the wedding pictures...a flash of old memories striked me and I couldnt stop thinking.....he is planting his roots in europe...he will grow in to a family over there....he coming back will now be difficult.....and the dream of hospital should have been buried some where deep :(.....
my village still doesnt have a well equipped hospital....what good my doctorate degree can do??? how can I blame A...what have I done and what can i do?? for now I will wish "A" a very happy and loving married life :) (Siri sampadalatho, aayurarogyalatho, pilla papalatho nindu noorellu sukhanga gadapalani korukuntuu....)

As it is said....

Zindagi Ke Safar Mein Guzar Jaate Hain Jo Makaam
Vo Phir Nahin Aate, Vo Phir Nahin Aate

Subah Aati Hai, Shaam Jaati Hai
Subah Aati Hai, Shaam Jaati Hai Yunhi
Vaqt Chalta Hi Rehta Hai Rukta Nahin
Ek Pal Mein Ye Aage Nikal Jaata Hai
Aadmi Theek Se Dekh Paata Nahin
Aur Pardey Pe Manzar Badal Jaata Hai
Ek Baar Chale Jaate Hain Jo Din-Raat Subah-O-Shaam
Vo Phir Nahin Aate, Vo Phir Nahin Aate
Zindagi Ke Safar Mein...

Lyrics courtesy:www.musicindiaonline.com
Picture from:www.artisthideout.com

If time is money.................

2008-02-25T09:57:00.007+01:00

Ya if time is money then yesterday I had spent almost 16x60=57600 bucks....some 1.2441619784 picocents for lazyness, lousyness, day dreaming and boredom....ya right that was my day y´day...I was able to feel the milli, micro, nano and pico seconds of the time just sitting on the chair before my laptop...[sick]

Wokeup very late at about 10:00 am with an idea of writing atleast some parts of my report....but before doing that wanted to check my mail and opened the browser...net connection was too slow and had to hit a site thrice to get it opened and even at that speed I just couldnt resist to open some regular news sites, movies sites and got struck to them for about an hour...each one of the page took ages to open and there I sat just gazing at the screen....the idea of opening my report and writing dint strike me at all......I was cold like ice..no thoughts going on in brain...no activity in the body...I became a statue just looking no where (soonyam loki choosthu...)...then found some interesting videos on youtube and wanted to download them...as the net connection was competing with my mood...it refused to download or even open the files....Hmmmm
After sometime to revive myself from that mood wanted to go and wakeup tamms and at the same time try to download the videos from his laptop...so went to his room...he already got up and so I sat before his laptop opening the videos to download....they got downloaded...sat there for sometime just looking at the new video editing stuff discovered by my techie tamms (sarva kala sarvavasthalayandunu, ellavelalanu computer tho aadukuni andulo mayamarachipoye vyakthi naaku telisi veedu okkade).....got bored sitting there....so asked tamms to come over to my room and I left his....went back and again sat on my chair again hitting the webpages more than thrice to open....I was patient enough I suppose or had nothing else to do...tamms came over after sometime and sat with his laptop.....he also started browsing something...searched and watched some Bruce springsteen videos....got bored again...asked tamms if he wants to eat something so that i get a diversion by cooking (though I didnt have any mood to cook)...he said no..so i am still seated on my chair.....
This continued till evening....we didnt eat..we dint move .....we dint talk much...we dint study....we dint even watch a movie (we watch atleast one every sunday)...we just sat hypnotised, stoned, staring at the hazy screens of our own laptops....I kept on searching and trying to open and download some videos with the least of the interests..(not even one was done)...got a phone call from nanna...we were the most indifferent to all the scoldings for not eating...we stayed glued to our places and our laptops until 8:00 pm....
By then a little bit of the brain started poking to getup and do something...mobilized by that got up and cooked something....oiled my hair and got a hot shower....though physically refreshed my brain still seemed to be in the same condition...watched few episodes of Everybody loves Raymond...an unfruitful attempt to revitalize my brain :(:(:(....losing the last traces of my brain activity.....just dropped on bed hoping for a productive and fruitful tomorrow :)

Why somedays are like this????????????????
Anyways got up very early today as my soul felt completely ashamed to have wasted a full day...came to the uni and right away started with my document :)

Here are some excerpts from the song by Bruce springsteen....a very good one....somehow related to yesterday´s mood

I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired
Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

Message keeps getting clearer
radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
Man I ain't getting nowhere
I'm just living in a dump like this
There's something happening somewhere
baby I just know that there is

You sit around getting older
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this laugh's on me

Stay on the streets of this town
and they'll be carving you up alright
They say you gotta stay hungry
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting 'round here

You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
Hey baby

Lyrics courtesy: http://www.brucespringsteen.net/songs/DancingInTheDark.html
Video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Bbm3CgTptSo (apparently Monica of FRIENDS (Courteney cox) was first spotted with this video....she was a random pick on to the stage by Bruce to dance with him :)....lucky Monica...ain´t she)
Image from: http://www.wpclipart.com/cartoon/boredom.png

Budaga!!!

2008-02-21T17:57:00.007+01:00

Moti, fatty, bondam, bajji, pandi, drum, pumpkin, etc etc...are the pet names i am given by my very very close dear loving caring and pampering family members and friends :D:D:D.....for no reason I used to feel very proud of these names and thought they love me so much to call me with names....:D:D:D
How stupid am I??...I dont say that once upon a time I am skinny but I wasn´t obese either...in all my schooling, college and until 2005 that is the year I finished my masters degree in germany...I was in quite a good shape...seriously.....until december 2004....it all started when I was at home after two long years for a long break of three months....guess how I ate (tindi deyyam pattina pisachi :):):)).....the first month I was roaming around....but the later two months all I did was eat, sleep, watch movies...amma was making all my favourites...ofcourse poor daughter is home after two years....love is blind is hence proved as she could barely notice that I am on an eating spree :):):) (meri maa khana banaathi gayi aur main khathee gayi :D...nateejaaa???)....I put on six kilos in three months....I left India with my aunts comment (tomorrow´s news headline: videsaalaku payanamayina srujana...rashtramlo perigina kolla sankhya)...I came back to my routine to start with my pHD.....but not back to my form...that weight I puton at home kept on increasing and I turned up into the (hatte khatte khathe peethe kandaan ki tandurusth ladki) so called drum.....tammsess started making fun of me.....actually i never bothered about it somehow coz I never wanted to be skinny or slim....and I used to laugh it off.....with my stupid logic of chubby women look more powerful..(nonsense and crap this is :) I know..but still...).

Slowly the number of comments on my avataar got increasing....here are some funny stories
One of my masters classmate (J a fat chinese lady) and my colleague in the department now joins us (me and my lunchmate A) for lunch sometimes in the social room...she looks at my lunch box...she starts with.... you eat so much rice and you are not at all fat....I eat very little but still I am fat....showing off all my modesty I say No J I am not thin (with a formal smile :)...lopala lopala anandamee).....with this she becomes so happy and laughs loudly...ya srujana you have become fat now.....she turns to all others sitting in the social room saying...when srujana was doing masters she was very thin.....she started pHD she became fat...HAHHAAHA (with her hand gestures)...everyone started laughing hesitantly ....chaaa thats such an embarassing situation....I murmur to A "eevidakento badha naa tindi naa ishtam..nenu laavayithe eevida kentantaa...anavasrangaa eevida mundara tintu book ayipoyaam :X:X:X...paruvu teesesindi andariloo". The same comment from J repeated until everyone in the department knows it by heart and I started confirming twice before having lunch that by no chance J will be coming around.

Tamms is called budugu at home...and one day nanna confirmed that I am no less cheeli to him and wanted to give me a name similar to budugu...."budigee" I was all shy(siggutho moggayi poyanu)...hehehe...tamms dint know this
Nanna with tamms on phone: Budugu akkai ki kotha peru pettamu (found a new name for sis)
tamms: entadi (what name?)
Nanna: guess cheyyi nee peru lantidee hehehe (Guess... its sounds like yours)
tamms: ee peru lantidi (which one of mine?)
Nanna: budugu lantidi (like budugu)
tamms: BUDAGAAA!!! (balloon!!!)
Nanna dropped the headphone and laughed that the resound reached germany....:X:X:X:X:X I was all red with anger and tamms all proud with his super creativity continued calling me so (budaga laaga round ga untaavuga akkai..is his explanation)

J doesnt want me to live in peace...one fine morning I am taking coffee in the social room..J came in
J: what are you drinking?
Me: coffee..
J: I drink plain warm water (from her never washed container)..may be I also have to drink coffee...I read an article recently saying that drinking coffee will reduce fat in the body...
Me: (What nonsense)...No J thats not true....I drink a lot of coffee and still I am not thin
J: laughing (dont understand what was funny in that)....you drink one cup coffee and eat a big box of rice...how will you reduce
Me: AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I ran out of the room and banged my head on the table)

With all these and many more coming up I started feeling conscious and wanted to exercise....got a brilliant idea of starting to practise kuchipudi.....(which was left while leaving school)...immediately started browsing all the possible kuchipudi videos on the net and downloaded them...ordered and got a dance DVD all the way from USA...AND.....determined to practice every weekend...one nice saturday I started off to the greatest dismay of the guy living in the next room....it was no less horrifying to him than an earth quake hitting 10.0 on rector scale.....that was an one day show!!!!!

Semesters passed...did aerobics for a while...and I am still fat...tamms and I decided to join in gym...excited by the idea all the guys in the hostel also joined the uni gym...we became a big indian batch over there....obviously we used to exercise for 5min and chat for 15min...hehehhe...continued doing this for about 6 weeks I suppose....uuhhuuu no change at all...

started eating chapathis at night...no change (okati araa tinte labham...nalugu ayidu kaadu kadaa)....

Completely depressed and disappointed by the failure of all my genuine attempts to reduce weight I gave up more trials and started worrying with my icecreams, chocolates, chips and ofcourse rice :):):)

I couldnt stop myself to write all this after seeing the difference in the pictures I added for the previous post.....me at the start of masters and me at the end of pHD....NOW AND THEN :):):)
(as monica (FRIENDS) says .....the camera thats used seems to have added 10 pounds on to me ;););))

Now and Then......

2008-02-21T12:43:00.013+01:00

Today is my profs birthday....he didnt come to the dept because of some throat allergy (actually he is not for the last two days).....so our secretary got this idea of sending him a birthday cum get well soon card with a group photograph from us....felt very nostalgic and dejective...we are just 9 in the picture....three of those are here just for few weeks....four other main colleagues apart from prof are not thr for the pic....there are so many changes....

Hmmm five years......brings lot of changes in a group....in a person...so many experiences...good times, bad times...happy days, sad days....lot of people, lectures, practicals, lab work, outings, pHD defences, group meetings, get togethers, christmas parties, B´day parties, new borns, demise :(, resignations, new intakes, diplom thesis, master lab rotations, project students, lot of funds, no funds, projects ending, new projects approved, new jobs, job loss, prof´s retirement nearing, people left....group getting thinner...

Yaa true its been almost five years I am working in this group "AG Blohm" (working group Prof.Dietmar Blohm, Dept. of Biotechnology & Molecular genetics)......I was sure I will write this post some day....but dint know it would come so fast....couldnt resist to write it today....as a masters student I started coming to this dept as a student helper, then did one of my lab rotations, my master thesis and then pHD position....five long years...I feel so much attached to this department now....its my home away from home...I know each and every corner of this place....everything seems to be my own....and one day I have to leave this place :(:(:(....dont want to even imagine that moment...

Want to write a lot but I am not getting any words....I cant anymore....so for now will stop this and continue later....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Prof. Blohm.....Many many more happy returns of the day :)

"Riding on the dreams I once knew
I can’t believe it’s been oh so long
Though it seems just like the other day
Folks I knew back then are long gone.....

Materials & Methods

2008-02-20T15:21:00.009+01:00

This is supposed to be the easiest section to write in any scientific report. I too believed in that till date and to keep up my tradition of starting any report with the m&m section which ignites me and slowly provides the acceleration towards writing the other sections.....I began my thesis report with this...and as prof asked me to give one section at a time for correction and not the bizarre report with all the unorganized and incomplete haphazard stories...I decided to give him m&m section first :D:D:D.

As I was proceeding with the normal way of describing the techniques performed and listed the materials used in each technique...I suddenly remembered oh noo this is not a lab report it is a PhD thesis (a BIG one %&$%§%) and so again I went through a brainstorm and came up with an idea to first list out all the different kind of experiments performed and then list out the methods used and the chemicals used....a bit convinced with this started writing again according to the experiments performed....but...there are some small steps performed before the experiments and in between the experiments and what about those??...Hmmm No this is not the way....why dont I make a flowchart?...ya will try this so right from the beginning of the work I made a flowchart with what I have done going through the pages of my daily lab notebook (I am proud and thank god I wasn´t lazy and wrote that very well...without that life would have been hell by now)...for each branch of the flowchart I listed out the biggest to the smallest consumables used in the lab....was able to fill it up quite convincingly.....

Now started putting it into words and again something banged in my head.....references!!!...ya every single consumable needs its identity...from which company its bought and from which country...have these details for all the extensively used kits and instruments but thats not enough....(its a pHD thesis BANG!!!!) made a big list of materials for which I dont have the reference.....went into the lab and thanks to our very nice technical assistant....I could fill a lot with his help...he knows all the companies...the details are on his finger tips :D:D:D....then comes a vast list of bioinformatic stuff used...softwares, databases, protocols, online applications etc etc....an extensive browsing of biotech, chemical and bioinformatic companies....making notes

I looked down on my desk at the rough work and the notes....I felt giddy....there is so much of material...now comes the biggest task of putting it together and in a meaningful way.....hope I can finish atleast a crude version by friday..thats the day I need to hand over it to prof for corrections...

MATERIALS AND METHODS is truly an important, not easy, tedious and tiresome section..no kidding...seriously I still feel that I am missing lot of stuff....will know that only when I start keeping all this in words...huuuuhhhh uuuuuffff!!!!

I love these camera mobiles...take a picture of what ever and whenever you want :D:D....Had a coffee for relaxing with this beautiful song from Libaas (heard these for the first time y´day)

"Jitane Bhii Tay Karate Gaye
Ba.Dhate Gaye Ye Faasale
Milo.N Se Din Chho.D Aaye
Saalo.N Se Raat Leke Chale
Sili Havaa Chhu Gai......

"Dil ki baat na poochho, dil to aata rahega
Dil bahekaata raha hai, dil bahekaata rahega
Dil ko tumne, oh, kuch samjhaaya hota
Khaamosh sa afsaana paani se likha hota
Na tumne kaha hota, na humne suna hota
Khaamosh sa afsaana...............

Lyrics courtesy: www.musicindiaonline.com

Avakaayi mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!...my lunch today

2008-02-19T13:07:00.007+01:00

People might be thinking seeing this photo....Hmm poor pHD student Srujana :(...dont even have time to cook nice food at home because of her thesis writing...so you see her lunch box with just curd rice and mango pickle....how sad...not any less misery than a telugu movie heroine with an evil step-mother (often this lunch is eaten by them in telugu family melodramas)...Hmmmm...

If you are thinking so....you are completely WRONG ;P

Tantaaaadaaaaaaaaaa guess what this is??.....the new MANGO PICKLE of the season (Kotha avakaaayi....mmmmmhhhhhhh......nenu tinesaanooochhhh :D:D:D).....the only food that takes you the closest to the feeling of being in heaven....Now the story goes like this...

Y´day me and tamms were going back home from uni a bit early than usual (18:00 hrs).....got into the bus thinking what to make for dinner...hmmm I am already hungry (this is what I think everyday when I get into the bus back home)....in the next stop the "avakaayi santa clause" P and the nice home invitor S got into the bus. P just came back from India y´day morning from a very busy official trip for one week(lucky him to visit home with office money). After all the casual talks about his trip, flight he took, experiences, family, beautiful India, lavish food, current cinemas, increasing population, hectic traffic, pollution, politics etc etc..very nice S asked us to come home. I was very formal to say NO no we will go home.....arre P brought some sweets and snacks from home...techavu kadaraa???(he confirmed it from P)...P said yaa I think some laddoos, karapoosa, chikki (pappuchekka) were packed in my bags....hmmm still I was like its ok if we come we will finish it off...you people eat it coz you dont even cook regularly and all that stuff to say...S was very insisting...no I called you over weekend you dint come and you always complain about not giving you snacks when I came back from india....so this is a chance, come over you can have some...I looked at tamms and he seemed to have no objection...and there we go to their house....we were treated with ghee laddoos, crispy crispy hot karappoosa and very tasty home made pappuchekka...upon that a nice cup of strong (kadakh) redlabel tea...vooowww this is life was my feeling...I was so full...we completed the whole plate in no time :):)....then S asked us to stay back for dinner too...he would cook something and will call other guys from the hostel too...so all of us can eat and go back together....couldnt deny it then though I had no space left for dinner...helped S in cooking for a while and then the other guys came and just before starting our dinner P unpacked his other bag and there he saw two other packets...guess whaat was taken out....yeeeaaahhhh pickles.....avakaayi and gongura :D:D:D

We all were like haaaa haaa haaaa avakaayi...P added that its the new pickle...his mother bought new mangoes and pickled them just two days back....aaahhhhh whaattt koththa avvakaayaa?? (first pickle of the season)...couldnt resist and we sat for dinner with steaming rice and no one looked at the mushroom curry S made ;P....as the packet was emptied into a box we couldnt stop mouthwatering at its vibrant!...bright!...red spicy oily gravy and the still raw greenish mango pieces soaked in it.....we raced to get it into our plates...(vedi vedi annam meeda....mmhhh... kammani gummani koththa avakaayi)...and mix it with rice and the first mudda into the mouth....a bite of the mango piece....mmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaahhhhhhh swargam!!...heaven!!!...the gravy still has the freshness of the chilli, spices and the oil...the piece still raw, crispy, sour, soaked...aaahhhaaa..i have no more words to describe...finishing it in no time...second and third servings were taken immediately (no one seemed to bother about the heat or the fire thats gonna generate in the stomach :):):))...what the hell who cares about all that...anything for avakaayi was the motto....had come to the finale with curd rice again an amiable last piece without gravy :):)...donno where I got all that space in my stomach after the heavy snacks...hehehe

P and S very much insisted on taking home some pickle....tamms jumped immediately "I want it"....I took it very reluctantly (thats a lie :D...I so much wanted to take some but was just shy as we already ate so much...)hehehe....BUT I got some with me, tamms still not satisfied wanted to have a washed piece before going to bed :D:D:D....and today morning I had this great idea of packing my lunch box with curd rice and avakaayi.....boasted about the experience to all my lunch mates and offered them small bites of the piece....being proud about sharing the first mango pickle...:D:D:D

My heart is not any less happy eating the assalu sisalayina andhra trademark avakaayi pachchadi to sing this song

ahahhahhahhahhaa avakaayibhOjanambu ahhahaa
aavakaayi bhOjanambu noroora vanTakambu
bhalaare gundi vindu OhhOhhO naake mundu
aavakaayi bhOjanambu noroora vanTakambu
bahubaaga undi vindu OhhOhhO naake mundu
ahhahahhahahha ahhahahhahahha ahhahahhahahhaaaahaahaa

ouroura laddoolalla ayyaare karapposalilla
ouroura laddoolalla ayyaare karappoosalilla
O hO rE pappu chekka ahaahaa ahaahaa
iyella naake chella

Another new week :O:O:O:O:O

2008-02-18T13:16:00.007+01:00

Heheheheh on a lighter note...I got my first comment on my blog...I am so much happy to see that and thanks to aalapana for all the compliments and nice words....its always good and encouraging to be praised for your work....(Aaja madhosh huaa jaae re, mera mann, mera mann, mera mann...binaa hi baat mauskurae re, mera mann, mera mann, mera mann :)....seems like I am very much excited :):):))....life is not always so nice Hmmmmm.........

Pic: §$§%$%'## literature study

Monday, an another new week....time seems to be running with the speed of SR-71 Blackbird....weeks are passing by in a flash...its already third week of february and there is so much to write :(. Prof wants the second version of the report by the end of this week (well second version could be anything...for eg: spelling corrections :D:D:D...... a suggestion from fellow pHD student)....and prof gave a clue that the future is not gonna be easy with a warning "Dont expect me to be so nice and easy (less critical) and get such simple comments from next time" (Hats off to my prof..he has his own way of frightening students...with a cold knife :(:().

So with a very strong determination of not wasting the weekend I spent the saturday shopping (wearing my brand new skirt ;P)....and attended a marriage reception party in the evening...S the bridegroom is my classmate in MSc and now a pHD student in the biochem department...party hall was occupied by three post docs (who survived the pHD stove and now falling down in to a furnace), almost 7 pHD students striving very hard to get out of the stove....and there comes the new set of chickens around 15 master students very eager to jump into the bright attractively colored dreamy pHD stove(ooops...no offence intended by the word chickens...just nothing else struck me at this moment)...Gaawwwddd so many pHDs but thank God everyone was seriously discussing the plans for the Indian utsav, cultural fest in April albeit short mourns (pHD ki dukh bhari kahaniyaa) with S and K....

To calm the very strongly hammering mind about the wasted saturday (regarding thesis) I wokeup early on sunday deciding to read some literature to quote in the Introduction....opened a publication...read a page...hmmm aaa &&%%$$$ boooring....why dont I do something else to get back to the mood....I have a brilliant idea to write the "IF" poem in my diary and also paint Happy Days logo...ahhhaaa tadaaaa....there i go happy and excited by my talent after an hour.....DHAADDD!!! thats the hammer...take the publication finish it :X:X:X
OK ok repeated the first page again as I forgot what it was about....read two more pages...made some notes....read two more pages...(Kya cheez hai bhai khatham hone kaa naam hi nahi lerahaa ee paper)...finally completed it somehow....Hmm I need a Break....what to doo...heyaaa i bought chicken y´day why dont i cook it for lunch...heheheh started browsing butter chicken recipes...found one and there I go to cook...for almost two hours....
Me and tamms ate our lunch....aahhaaa (ippudu oka sleep vesthe......swargam!!!)...again DHAADD!!!! read read read...

OK then opened an another publication and ya somehow managed to read a couple of them with two cups of tea to digest and refresh....by evening my mind was a bit calmed....ok I atleast tried to read something..BUT if this is going to be so...god only knows when I will finish my thesis....not just weeks,....months and years will pass off with double the speed of blackbird....have to make strong decisions, be determined to sit down and WRITE without any distractions...hmmm not very easy though.....

Zindagi gham ka sagar bhi hai
Hanske uspaar jana parenga

Monday morning started off making the Latex document and writing the second version of the report....Lets see how far i go....Lunch time..blogging time...and time to GO to write...

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

How difficult is this?????

Today´s blabbers....

2008-02-14T14:14:00.004+01:00

"Today, you should use the killer combination of cold logic and a warm smile to gain advantage over the competition. You cannot persuade someone to agree with you based on your charm alone -- you need the facts to support you. Before you start any kind of negotiation, make sure you've got the evidence you need to support your position. Do your research, and no one can disagree with your findings. As long as you stay confident and prepared, you will succeed"....

With this very inspirative quote early in the morning...set off to plan the experiments.....hmmm made a small daily browsing ritual (ndtv, rediff, anish´s blog, kamal´s blog, some more blogs for updates)....read a very good post about Godavari bagging 5 nandis...couldnt resist writing a comment...made that....meanwhile nanna and couple of friends came online...talked about my new profile pic :D:D:D, valentine´s day heheheheh...

Then came in prof with a masters student...introduced him to me and said that he is interested in doing master thesis here in our lab and may be he wants to work with you....so he wants to talk to you...give him all the relevant information...and prof left....hhhhhh???(entidi!!)...I already told prof that I cant guide a student now as I have very less time to complete and cant spend so much time with the student......hmmmm then why did he bring this guy to mee??? anyways took him to the social room and asked few questions about his masters and explained my project....it was good...he seemed to understand everything and looked very interested....thought of keeping it very brief but we ended up discussing for one and half hour....I frankly told him that I am not gonna be very long here and if he wants to work then he will be guided by prof directly later on....he seemed to be OK with that....dont know students nod their head for everything (ofcourse I used to do the same....but ippude telisindi ala cheyyatam ila untundani eduti vallaki)..chaloo anyhow finished with him..he seemed happy... iam happy as my task is done....meanwhile lunchtime...had my lunch and to drive away the sleep I am writing this post...cup of coffee and a blog post enough refreshing...:):):)

Now have to really get set gooooo to work....just an afternoon left over....

kadam kadam badhaye jaa khushi ke geet gaye jaa yeh zindagi hain (thesis) ki tu (kaam) pe lutaye jaa.......:):):)

Yesterday night

2008-02-14T13:41:00.006+01:00

Pic: This is how a PhD student looks at 00:35am (Feb 14th 2008 early hours) trying to understand the report corrections sent by the prof §!!§§§%####%%%?????

Heehhehe finally prof sent me my corrected report...after a very brief flashy meeting in the corridor....I just saw at him in a very confused and questioning and pleading way....he understood it right away...he said "Srujana..I started working on it...made some corrections too...but I am not yet through...latest you will recieve it by today evening...(hmmmheheh...puzzled happy confused expression by me)...its fine...it looks good...you made a good start..its in the right way" he walked away.....eeerrrr hmmmm hhhhhh....should I be happy...no???? yes???? hmmm lets see by evening what will come out...(koncham lopala lopala anandanga undilee :) fine annarani)

Around 10:00 pm in the night, checked my mail for the 10th time in the evening..ya there it is...(hammoooo baboooi emuntundooo)...opened it the whole mail was in german :O:O:O (naaku nerpinche vadilelaa unnaru pattu vadalani vikramarkudu type lo)...a repeatation of the same he told in the corridor...with the attachment of the corrected document...opened it quite hesitantly.....went through the whole thing...

Made few changes in the table of contents...ya it looks more meaningful and complete with that....a lot of comments about the tables and graphs...they need to be edited and clearly presented.....adviced to use as many tables as possible....explanation of the results to be modified....methods and results not to be mixed up....yaa it was good no serious comments or saying that all this is trash....i was a bit releaved...

BUT....

the idea behind writing this short report was to find gaps and plan the necessary experiments...this was not done at all...what does this mean.....did he forget why he asked me to write this? and made me wait so many days for this....Hmmmm....What to do???? I am at the same stage again.....(hatavidhiiiiii)....OK I made all the possible changes I can make right then in the document and decided to make a plan of the further experiments tomorrow and then go and discuss them with the prof if thats the right way to proceed... this should be fine...I dont see any other alternative...(emi cheyyalo teliyaka had a crazy photo session hehehahha)

Raat baaki, baat baaki, hona hai jo ho jane do...anukuntuuuuuu

Miseries of a PhD student

2008-02-12T14:30:00.007+01:00

That lucky day when I can sit with my prof and discuss my short report never seemed coming....y´day I asked prof if he had time to discuss....he said right after lunch...but there was a visitor in his office after lunch.....went back to him after she left.....he said he would come to me in 10min....after 10min he came over and said he had just 10min left to go and if that will be enough to discuss something...(nenemayina nepala mantrikuralina haammmphaatt ani pogesi 10 nimishallo mottam cheppataniki)....i said its very difficult and I will try to send it to him my mail....he said that will be a great idea...then he will go through this and let me know his comments and then we can sit together and discuss the things...he left and I sat down trying to paste the results graphs which I dint do before and arranging the whole document in a way he can understand it. I hope he will, I am so much worried and confused about the whole document, the way I presented and explained the results...I hope he understands...though I already told him that the document in a very crude form not very well organized...he said he will manage...donno what will happen....

Whatever (dhairye sahase lakshmi) ready to face all the outcomes I made the required changes and sent the mail. Eagerly waited for the reply and checked in the night too...but no mail.

The first thing I did today morning is to check the mail if there is any reply...Nooo new mails.....donno if he had seen the report or not...may be he dint get time to see it...or may be he saw it, couldnt understand anything and wanted to discuss it with me...maybe he is mad at me for giving such a crude report...came to the uni making myself ready to face anything....I was sure prof will be mad but if i can bear his anger for sometime I can atleast get to know the status and the necessary things to be done....
Prof is not there in his office....waited till lunch still not there...tamms came over and told me that he has gone to IUB...hmm i have to leave to the doctor by 4 in the afternoon, if he didnt turnup by then an another day is just gone by, wasted......dont know what his intentions are in keeping me hanging in this situation...cant dare to proceed with the experiments...he is not correcting the report...what to dooo :((((....wish he sends me some comments by today evening.....hmmmmm.....

ANUKUNNADOKKATI AYYINDOKKATI BOLTA KOTTINDI LE BUL BUL PITTA..........ani husharuga paadalani unnaa prastuntaniki mana jeevitham...

Jagame maaya bratuke maaya vedaalalo saaramintenayaa ee vintenayaa

Final part of Hospital Saga

2008-02-12T12:42:00.000+01:00

Saturday (9th Feb) morning:

Wokeup with the same old Guten Morgan shout by the nurse at 6:30...she took temperature and checked BP when I am still half asleep..she said its normal.....in 5min came the second nurse with the blood tray....(inka entha rakhtham teesukuntaru...taagutunnara entii)....a total of 5 syringes were filled one after the other in the most senseless robotic way....donno what they are gonna do with all this blood....what kind of HIFI tests they are going to conduct???.....I was indifferent to all this by now....dint wanted to strain my brain anymore thinking of all what is happening (Jo hoga dekha jaayegaa)....I got freshened up and then came breakfast...again bread butter jam coffee....it was good for a change and as I do cleaned the plate as unused hehehahhahaha :D:D:D......then came an another head doctor with the same old young doc....examined me and asked me how am I feeling...quite normal I said...How is your appetite....he turned around not waiting for my answer...looked at the completely swiped up plate...with a small smile...looked at me and said everything seems normal...blodd reports doesnt show any inflammation of the appendix.....may be some disturbance in the intestine should be causing this pain....young doc interrupted repeating the same old gynic problem...finally he is heard by someone...the head said ya could be...you can consult a gynaecologist for a general checkup....I will right a letter to your private doctor and then you can go home....yaahuuuu......I immediately got down the bed changed my dress...packed my bag laptop...wore my shoes.....ready to goooo :D:D:D:D...BL and I exchanged our addresses...waited waited for the letter to come...no one turned up....its almost 2 hours the doctors had visited me and said that they will send a letter....I removed my shoes sat on the bed..
BL started talking about art..about worpswede and a new art village near Bremen...she promised to take me to this place after she is fine in her car.....go around have coffee and come back.....Wwooowwww what an offer....she started giving me advices about healthy eating....told me to take care about food fruits juices eating times etc etc after going home...very much grand motherly :):):)....after sometime two nurses came over to shift BL to the special section....I wished her good health and promised to call her up and it was a bit sad situation...a slight bond grew between us a roommates in this hospital for two days...we shared many thoughts in this time....hmmm wish she gets well soon!!!!!!

I was all alone in the room...going crazy....understood and filled up all the rest of the puzzles in the magazine....asked nurses about the letter twice..its 12:00 noon, lunch was asked...I refused to have it...I want to go home and I am waiting for the letter....this time i told the nurse very seirously....she came back in 10min with the letter.....hammayyaaaaaa finallyyy.....I wore my jacket called up tamms, said thank you and bye to the nurses........and walked down to the entrance and ouuuutttt there I am on the road.....fresh air blowing and the sunshining very brightly...happy and confident....I took the resolution I am all fit nothing will happen to me...I will never ever go to a doctor in this place...(bekaar ka hangama karthe hai) hehehehehehhehee.....
I lived happily the rest of the days ;P

Glad I ´m baaaaaaackkkkkkk :):):):):):):) PART II

2008-02-12T11:42:00.000+01:00

Friday 8th Feb 2008:

At about 7:00 am a nurse came in shouting Guten Morgan...I wokeup in a sudden stroke....looking around to figure out where Iam....I slept well.....by the time I realized the nurse was taking blood from the BL and she turned to me and said Good morning...did you sleep well...
Me: hmm yaa yaaa (still sleeping)
BL: (nurse left) I couldnt because I dint know how to switch off the light...I wokeup in the night went out to call nurse...dint find one...came back and covered my eyes with atowel..still couldnt sleep

SHIT...I cursed myself....I just forgot to turn off the light before sleeping...(light never disturbs me its a regular habit that I sleep reading a book or watching some movie with the lights turned on)...very apologetically I said sorry to her I forgot to turn them off....no no no I dint know which switch to turn off...you are new here you also will not know (Haaa is that a big deal...there are big switches just at the entrance of the room...hmm anyways). Nurse came in again...this time to me...checked my temperature and BP and said its normal (Hheheheh naaku teleedaa I know Iam normal).
She went out and came in another nurse asking what do you like to drink with breakfast tea or coffee...Haaaa she also asked meee...finally something to eat....said coffee got down the bed and freshened up immediately and came back..READY TO ATTACK.....nurse came in with the breakfast plate to the BL, turned to me said NO BREAKFAST FOR YOU...(Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii eh nahi ho sakthaa) I am dying of hunger.....BL gave a sympathetic look to me and resumed having coffee and breakfast....you may have to take some test and then will get to eat...dont worry she said...OK OK that doesnt seem coming...

After about 30min came a nurse telling that she needs to take blood...brought two big syringes this time...from the same hand felt the vein...OH noo she was rough....it was so painfull....even after removing the needle it was bleeding for sometime.....(durmargulu dushtulu jalagallaga naa ontlo rakhtham antha tagestunnaru...emi chestunnaroo intha blood teesukuni...okati tindi pettaru malli litre lu litre lu rakhtham teesukuntaaru :X:X:X:X asalu vellandarini chethulu kattesi nollu kuttesi blood antha laageyyali appudu telustundi.... Hannaa nannu intha kastapedataaraa)
BL started talking about her son that he will bring apple juice for her...she doesnt like to drink water all the time...asked for juice to the nurses but no one brought any...her son is also working in the uni...she has a daughter in Freiburg...settled with her husband and kids....her son also had three kids....she is conservative as her neighbours in the street....though she is divorced for 7 years from her husband they both are still friends...they meet for family gettogethers call up to talk about the grand children....she thinks its important to maintain this for the impression on the grand children...she wants them to grow as a part of big happy family....she works for the adult education department carrying on projects..her husband works a s a prof in law department...her daughter studied in spain and learnt spanish joining some discussion groups... adviced me to join ASTA and ask for help for german language courses....

Why is she telling all this to me...she is so much unlike other german ladies..she is so open so friendly sso sweet...I liked her a lot...listened to all her happy sad agony stories....she thanked me for listening to her being so nice to her(rang the bell to nurse when she got the needle out from her hand and started bleeding continuously)....she was bold enough to cleanup and get a new bandage to hand....thanked me for about 5 times for ringing the bell....when her son called up she broke doen...she couldnt stop crying explaining all that has happened how the blood came out hoe i calle dthe nurse....maaan she is so sensitive....I was completely moved felt so much love for her wanted to go and hug her and tell that there is nothing to worry...hmmm couldnt do it though...she was fine after sometime....doctors came over a lung specialist (cute kind young lady) to her listened to all her story with patience examined her and said that both her lungs are infected...she shoudlnt move much and they will shift her to the special lung section that day...
After sometime a doctor(elderly looked like the head) along with the young doctor who took blood yßday night came to me....asked me if i have pain ....i said no...examined me and while testing I felt little pain and complained that....the young doctor said to the head "may be gynaecology problem" he said the same y´day night tooo....but the head dint bother and said to me I will check your blood reports and will come back in few mins...(emi jarugutundi ikkada antha agamyagocharanga undi)...those few mins never ended (dint see that head again :))

Meanwhile its 12:30 noon and lunch time...only to BL no lunch to me :(:(:(:( (nannu madchi champestaaru veellu)
BL: I am sorry for you...its not good to eat alone but I have to for my health...I hope they will give you food soon (eerrr mariii antha aasaga choosana aavida plate vanka- brahmanandam type lo :))
Then came in a nurse with the blood sucking tray again...I can recognize that now and guess why she is coming....she cameover and said she need more blood for test.....
Me: doc said I am fine, he will check my reports and I can go home why do you need more blood.
Nurse: No I need blood for more tests (couldnt explain much -language problem)
Me: pleas take it from the other hand...already had two times from this
Nurse: ah ok I can try and took it from left into a big 10ml syringe (No doubt deeniki tindi ekkuvayye ee rogam anukuntunnaremo...anduke ila pastulunchi naa blood antha laagesukuntunnaru hathavidhiiii asalenduku aaa hospital ki vellanu :X:X:X:X)

Later came the very goodlooking middle aged same doc2 from the first clinic to say Hi and check on me.....I said I am very much fine and asked when can I go home...he said they are waiting for one more test results....all the others are normal..according to me you can go home but I am not the one who decides the surgeons has to do that...I think you will have to stay today night also (WHAAATTTT NOOOOOOOOOO HAMMMAAA PLEAASSEEEE DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO MEE :((((((((((()
Nurse came in asked her when can i go home...doctors are looking at your reports will tell you once they tell me...whole afternoon went on with BL telling her stories about the students she had...projects she had...about her mail..her neighbours how good they are...strange neighbour who always talks about other people...how everyone in the street just runs away at her sight :)....how her son and daughter-in-law manage the kids...how she is proud about her son...time just rolled off with some phone calls, crying about food (moodu pootalu ayyindi tindi tini), filling up two more sudoku puzzles, getting an ultrasonic examination again (this doctor was very happy to speak in english and thanked me at the end for a good english lesson..he lost practice of it....actually everyone in the hospital are feeling very happy to speak in english...they are trying their best to converse with me....very much unlike the previous experiences with very adamant only german speaking people).

Nurse came in at about 4 in the afternoon and said that I need to stay today night tooo and they have to examine me tomorrow morning and then I can go home...tamms got the info from nanna and he came in after 30min with my laptop some clothes...I was glad had shower changed and felt fresh...only worry begin food now....at about 6 I was just sitting at the table playing with my laptop...a nurse came in to make injection to BL. Thrombose (good for blodd circulation)...it was done on the stomach couldnt see it I turned my head.....nurse went out and came in again Frau.Chitipothu injection to you......my eyes widened..mouth wide open.....injection (I was scared shocked what not) why what ????? whats going on....noooo...injection why???? nurse starting laughing off and explained I have to give you this injection...I am fine I dont need any for god sake please dont do this to me...OH MY GAWD.......nurse went out called up two other nurses and explained my expression of wide eyes and oh my god and all of them started laughing.....(naa deena moham choosi kooda kanikaram leda meeku :(:(:(:(..rakhshashulu meeru)...I am nurse Rosy I am very soft it wont pain..pleas you keep talking to her meanwhile I will do it...saying so she lifted my shirt up from the stomach...WHAATT to the stomach no I want it on the hand....nurse said no I have to do it on the stomach....ammooooo devudaaaa naaku vadduuuu but no chance of escaping..I wanted to jump out of the window.....caught her hand tight...she made it....hmmm it dint pain while doing but it was horrible later.....she was still laughing caressed on my cheek and left...
then came dinner for me also finallyy...bread butter cheese and some processed meat slices...it was yacckkyyy but tamms sat before and I had to forcibly push it in with tea....tamms left around 8:00pm...I started plaing in my laptop...BL was no sleepy she said she dint do anything and the night is going to be very long....I very doubtfully asked her if she likes to watch a movie...she immediately said yes...I have a germa movie (Das Leben Der Anderen) with english subtitles (Oskar winning best international movie "Life of others" 2007)...wanted to watch that since long time....it needs separate post the movie review...great experience watching it with BL..she even gave some comments at the end of the movie about the situation then prevailing...slept off for the night happily.....

Glad I ´m baaaaaaackkkkkkk :):):):):):):)

2008-02-11T09:58:00.000+01:00

Two days in hospital :O:O:O:O:O.......yaaa it came like a shock....I had to stay in the hospital.....It all started on tuesday...while coming back from the uni in the bus suddenly there was a piercing pain in the stomach and my eyes started rolling off...yaa I felt giddy and then I had to getdown as my stop has come....doubtfully I got down...took a forward step and DHAAAAADDDDD!!!! yaa I fell down unconscious....but immediately I got my senses back opened my eyes and there was a nice lady holding me and she helped me get up and made me sit on the bench in the stop....she also got my handy which just slipped off my hand and fell far away....I sat there for sometime still feeling the pain and letting my mind to stabilize.....after about 5min I was fine and gotup to walk home....tamms was coming running down to me as nanna told him I fell down...felt very bad seeing so much of tension on his face....."padipovatamenti emayindi" his voice sounded so terrible and concerned....I said I am fine and we went home...laid down for the rest of the day.....tamms cooked and dint let me put my feet down on the floor.....>:D<>:D<>:D<....

Wednesday morning I was fine no pain and felt very fresh so I was glad and as usual got ready and went to the uni....everything was normal...ate my lunch very well and worked well.....as usual went to prof and he said sorry I definetely have time tomorrow we will check it (I posted that already...yaa i was healthy enough to post on my blog too :D)....but this happiness dint last long...in the evening around 4ó clock again I felt severe pain on the right side of the stomach...it was unbearable I couldnt sit on the chair....went home early and just dropped onto my bed....I slept for about 2 hours or so and then it was all fine...I could getup, cook and eat...but slight pain remained contiuously inside...thought for the first time to go for a checkup (that thought lead to this great hospital saga ...Hmmmm) Thursday morning got up very late...called uni reporting a sick leave.....actually I was feeling not much pain but wanted to get it checked up...so in the afternoon I went to a general doctor near my place...waited for the appointment for about 30min and then went in....I told my whole story of falling down...later effects..pain etc etc...after all the general questions about fever, vomiting, low BP, previous operations blah blah...he wanted to make a checkup and I felt severe pain on the right side during this....he said he is suspecting appendicitis and needs to make a blood test to confirm...but since he doesnt have a lab over there....even though he collects the blood he can get the results only on monday and if it is appendicits that will be too long to wait so he said that its better I go to the main hospital to get the test down.....he wanted to make an EKG then and when I was waiting in the EKG room...he came over and told me that there is visiting doctor from the main hospital that day in his clinic and he wants to make a check up... "enni sarlu check chestaru babu" was my feeling....they took me to the ultrasonic system and checked my stomach...apparently the doctor no1 dint know how to use the ultrasonic system and so the doc no2 gave a small demonstration lecture to him "hmm ippudu nenu experiment animal" ....after clearing all his doubts and learning the system very well...they told me the good news that both of them suspect it to be appenticitis though they cant confirm it my ultrasonic system...they strongly recommended me to go the hospital and get the blood test done....they would call up the hospital and inform that I am coming and if needed they may ask me to stay over night Haaaaaa :O:O:O was my expression...I was really really scared listening that....dint imagine it will go this far....I shivered hearing about the hospital and staying there and praying to all the godds I could remember not to get that situation...called up tamms and told him..he said he will come over directly and I took a bus to the hospital....

After registration at the entrance we were asked to go to the emergency section....we did so and were asked to wait...after sometime a nurse cameover and took me inside a room....checked my temperature and BP......later a doctor came over, examined me and told that he needs to take blood for testing and I have to wait until the results....as I knew this I was prepared and for the first time in my life I dint have any fear for the needle...
Doc: please lay down on the table
Me: why??
Doc: I have to take blood
Me: Cant you take it if I sit down
Doc: Ya sure sure...if you dont fall down seeing blood (Strangely I was so confident...may be my innerself telling me continuously that there is no one from family around and you have to behave and be bold enough)
Me: no no please carry on I will sit down
Doc: OK sit hear (showed me a stool) Then I understand why he wanted me to lay down....
thought it would be just few drops or yet the most a few ml in a syringe....My eyes got widened in shock seeing 8 syringes being brought by the doc my way. No this cant be...am I gonna donate blood or just give blood for some test??????? while all the questions running in my brain...he carefully put a needle to my vein and by changing one after the other filled all the syringes he had. He was quite careful I have to admit...it dint pain...but seeing 8 syringes filled with dark red fluid and imagining that its from me I felt a bit giddy......

Anyways he then asked me to wait......after about 30min...he called me up and told that the blood report is quite normal no sign of appendicitis (Hammayyaaa batikipoyaanu :D:D:D anukundi my happy soul)......but we want you to stay in the hospital over night and want to make an another blood control tommorrow morning (WHAATTT-ee fitting enti malli). You can stay here and we will give some liquid infusion (never got this in life...babooooi i was scared to death) to night and check blood tomorrow...thought for a while and said no there is no need of infusion you just stay over...

I made my effort......I live very close by and I dont have any pain now...I am quite normal doc so is it possible that I go home to night and will be here early to get the blood test done...Pleaseeeeeeeeeee
Doc: No, I understand your problem it is more convenient for you to go home but its very difficult for us if there is an emergency need in the night....I would prefer you stay here and if the blood reports are normal you can go home immediately...

Me: (very sadly) Hmmmmm can I eat something....I am hungry
Doc: (thought for a while) Hmm haa yaaa a little bit but eat or drink only until 12´o clock midnight...not after that

Hmmmmmm (gundu raayi laaga untee naaku rathri emergency antaa) couldnt bear this...went back to tamms who is very seriously playing pacman on his mobile in the waiting loounge and told the good news.....in a very diplomat way ya stay its just one night if they say then it should be necessary kadaa...whats your problem in staying....(bhagavantudaa ee kashtalu enti).

Nurse came over to take me to the room...both of us followed her to the 9th floor of the hospital...room no 18....its a two beds room...already there is a old lady sleeping on the Bed1...nurse started explaining something in german...I interrupted her please I cant understand it clearly can you speak in english.....the lady on Bed1 suddenly woke up and said she is saying that you have to stay on this bed for the night...thats the washing room...this is the closet for your jacket etc etc....thats the least expected thing that has happened a old sick lady in germany speaking such good english more over explaining me all the stuff...oh she is so sweet...me and tamms looked at her in a very thankful and releaved happy feeling....she introduced herself and both also did...the nurse was also happy meanwhile that her job was simplified.....she took my jacket hung in the closet and said that I shouldnt eat anything...I was shocked (pastulunchestunnaru ra babooooi nannuu)....I immediately shooted....doc told me to eat...I am hungry....nurse thought for a while and said she will go and confirm and let me know...after a minute a big fat male nurse came in with a pile of bread toasts...you can eat only these nothing else....drink as much water as you like.....
Bed1lady: Its good for you not to eat (she was already having her dinner) just one night dont worry.
Hmmm I went out into the visitors waiting room with tamms sat there for sometime and later (9:00 pm) he left. I accompanied him to the escalators area....he went down and I pushed the door to the rooms...it was locked....I tried on the other side...that was locked too...I am stuck here...oh nooooo......looked around and found a internal phone or bell whatever.....pressed the station 82 button and gladly someone answered.....I told that I am stuck here in the corridor...he asked me to wait...the same fat male nurse came over...think he recognised me because of my language....these doors are locked at about 8:45 pm he said... I nodded my head went to the room....got freshened up, looked out from the window....what a beautiful view I love to see the citylights at night...I simply love it...I forget myself at that beautiful view anytime....stayed there for about 5min looking around trying to recognize any familiar buildings.....
Bed1 lady: how long you have been here in germany
Me: since 4 years
BL: hmm thats long time what are you doing
Me: studying in the uni
BL: I also used to work for the uni some years back
Me: Hmm
BL: where are you from originally
Me: India
BL: oh I have never been there
Just formal talk about her and she she couldnt talk much as she had breathing problem because of lung infection.....she slept off in no time
I couldnt sleep got a magazine from the waiting room...filled up the sudoku puzzles...tamms called up talked to him for a while....dint know what to do....thousands of thoughts coming randomly in the mind...I am hungry...why did i go to the doctor...I am feeling normal...why am I made to stay here...why did they give me these bread toasts....should i tell this at home or not ??????????? many many more....i dozed off with all this...

Beautiful Song!!!!!!!!!!! It made up my day!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-11T09:41:00.001+01:00

UNA PALOMA BLANCA
George Baker Selection (The Netherlands)


When the sun shines on the mountain
And the night is on the run
It's a new day
It's a new way
And I fly up to the sun

I can feel the morning sunlight
I can smell the new-mown hay
I can hear God's voice is calling
For my golden sky light way

Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Once I had my share of losing
for they locked me on a chain
Yes they tried to break my power
oh I still can feel the pain

Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away

Just found this...Kyaa likhaa hai bhaii...too good!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-06T15:05:00.000+01:00

Jaane Se pehle, Ye hai Mera Aaj ka Khayal,
Un sab ke liye jo daude jaa rahe hai iss shehar mein,
Shehar Ke is daud mein,daudke karna kya hai??
Agar Yahi Jeena Hai dosthoon,tho marna kya hai??
Pehli Baarish mein train late hone ki phikr hai,
Bhool gaye bheegthe hue Tehalna kya hai??
TV Serials Ke Khirdaron Ka Saara Haal Hei Maloom,
Lekin Maa Ke Haal Poochne Ka Phursta Kahan Hai!!
Ab reth pe nange paav tehelthe kyon nahi,
108 hai channel,par dil behaltha kyon nahi!!
Internet pe duniya se tho touch mei hai,
Par Pados Mei kaun rehtha hain Jaanthe thak nahi !!
Mobile Landline Sabki Bharmaar hai,
Lekin jigri dosth thak pahunche, aise thaar kaha hai ??
Kab Doobthe Hue suraj ko dekha tha,yaad hai??
Kab Jaana tha sham ka guzarna kya hai??
Tho Dosthoon,
Shehar Ke is daud mein,daudke karma kya hai??
Agar Yahi Jeena Hai ,tho phir marna kya hai?? “

Bore bore boreeeeeeeeeee..........

2008-02-06T14:23:00.000+01:00

Finished writing the short report...donno how it is...if it will meet profs expectations...if it is the right way of presenting the results???????????? questions questions questions so many.....no idea whats going on....i feel like modifying the report with some more details but when I open I dont want to touch it or change anything before showing it to prof. .....but again I am not sure if the description I wrote or the material I mentioned is enough or not.
He dint get time y´day so to get a diversion played around with Endnote and LATEX. Latex didnt work out so uninstalled and installed the whole software twice and finally was successful in creating a page.....its so beautiful!!!!!...all the effort spent is worth every minute when you see the output file.....

Got up at the last min in the morning as I absolutely forgot about the 8:30 weekly presentations....but managed to dropin at the right time....there was just one talk today from Marc about the recent research in fishery genetics.....it was very goood...really well framed and well presented...it was like a lecture rather a presentation.....enjoyed it a lot....
Again came back to my report with the urge of changing somethings...improve it...but no again after opening i dint feel like touching it....tried to catch prof but he again said tomorrow as he need to finish something else by evening....donno when i will come through this...comeon its just a small report basically prepared to know the gaps in the whole story and then plan the experiments to be repeated and this small thing is causing so much of tension in me..."Asalentoo ee gola" I feel like keeping it aside and think of the further work and proceed with planning...but unable to... Gawwwd I donno how I will manage to finish the main thesis this way......hope he checks it tomorrow and discuss atleast that will show the right direction and atleast I will know what to do with my thesis..hmmmmm lets see......

Watched Happy days one more time to sleep.....this is getting addictive as was with Godavari...I literally slept for 6 months only because of godavari.....its so much of relaxation....just slowly and calmly sliding into deep sleep listening to the dialogues of the movie and the scenes scrolling around in your memory....what a great feeling...I am mad I know but somehow these movies (Anand, Godavari, Happy Days) are so close to my heart...I feel a kind of sensitive relation with them.....I somehow feel belonging to them...hmmmm seriously I am mad....

Vidhi Ledu...Vidhi Ledu...Prathiroju Needae leraa..
Padilaechae Kerataala SariJodi Neevaeleraa..
Ee Desam Andhinchae Aadesam Neekaeraa..
Ee Shankham Oorinchae Aavesham Raaniraa..
RepuMaapu Neevaeraa...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa...
Manishai Veligipoveraa...
Thalakula Thaarallo..Velugula Dhaarallo...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa..
Manasuloni Maargamundhi Thelusukoraa ika...
Gurilenidae Baanam Inka Cherukoduu ila...
Prathiroju Neeekoka Paathamae Chaduvukuntuu Padaa..
Ika Ninnu Neevu Mosagisthu Mosaapothae Vrudha...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa...
Manishai Veligipoveraa...
Thalakula Thaarallo..Velugula Dhaarallo...
Manasaaa Gelupu Needhaeraa..

2008-02-04T17:41:00.001+01:00

Back in 2006 when I started this blog I named it as Great Expectations....I dont know why I called it so...I dont remember what my intention was in giving this heading to my blog...anyways it doesnt seem to fit to what I am gonna post here now...have to find a good appropriate name...hmmmm will think over and change it soon....

Today, Gave a report to Prof about the conference I attended last week. He seemed quite happy with my report though I wrote it in a very general sense..no details at all...coz I myself didnt understand most of the presentations as they are more related to medical research (all kinds of cancer, multiple sclerosis, stem cells etc etc..) sounds very interesting though....it was hard to follow the in depth research. I found the poster session more interesting....you can take as much time as you want to understand the concept and very friendly presenters are always around to explain the things to you....
Hmmm coming to the thesis documentation its been three weeks prof asked me to submit a brief report about the work done so that we can find the gaps and decide upon the lab work still to be done and the material needed for the thesis writing.....its too hard to put two years of work into one short report...I am going mad thinking of what to mention and what not....finally made up my mind to start with the table of contents and then expand each section. Even that is not as easy as I thought but am trying to bring out some senseful material.
In the meanwhile Prof already asked why I am taking such a long time to write this. He offered to correct it at what ever stage it is right now either by mail or sit together and go through the details. I tried to send an email but actually its too hard to explain every single detail as the report right now is very haphazard. So went and asked him if he has time to sit down with me and go through the results.
And he said that he meant to push me in doing it by offering the correction, but as it is my own thesis and I am responsible he asked me to go through it many times and decide for myself what to keep and what not (If I can do this why will I take so much time....) and then he will see if he can find some time tomorrow or the day after to sit with me.

Hmmmmmm kya socha tha, aur kya paya hai. mere gum ka sathi bhi koi nahi.........
Time to get back and put the things in order.

Day went on trying to figure out the design of the document, some blog reading, some google chatting, some browsing....seems like I am spending too much time on these other stuff...have to cut down this...its high time now.....

Eeee PhD entoo....eee thesis raayatam entoo....ee short reports entoo.....ee corrections entoo...eppatikoo veetanniti nundi vimukthi...

A New Start :)

2008-02-04T12:20:00.000+01:00

Hmmm.....after nearly 2 long years....after saying bye to the old blog for a reason....today I feel like starting my blog again....I feel like putting my random thoughts into words....too many things going on in life and too many thoughts to share......lets see how far I can go....an another sneak peak in to the mirror of my heart.....